Word Count: 6,572/189,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.
Author's Note: Happy Friday! I’m still sobbing over last night’s ep. I also watched the Break Up for the first time on Wednesday night. My heart is still dead. I’m not going to be happy till Klaine reunite, if they do. So life has kicked me in the nuts and I haven’t had time to write. I just finished this chapter a few days ago which is unheard of for me. So here’s the deal. The last real chapter may not be out on Tuesday because I’m still working on it, so I think I might finish the book (epilogue) and post them together. I promise promise promise this story is continuing, I just need time to process this whole Klaine thing.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.
Author's Note: Happy Friday! I’m still sobbing over last night’s ep. I also watched the Break Up for the first time on Wednesday night. My heart is still dead. I’m not going to be happy till Klaine reunite, if they do. So life has kicked me in the nuts and I haven’t had time to write. I just finished this chapter a few days ago which is unheard of for me. So here’s the deal. The last real chapter may not be out on Tuesday because I’m still working on it, so I think I might finish the book (epilogue) and post them together. I promise promise promise this story is continuing, I just need time to process this whole Klaine thing.
After watching the last couple eps, I’m starting to feel
like someone at Glee is reading this story. Finn calling Kurt little brother,
Hopelessly Devoted (wrong singer, though), Kurt wearing black and acting more
subdued and saying something about growing over the summer, and in the promo
for next week he’s wearing a HOODIE! If someone is reading this story and works
for Glee, please let me know? For no reason other than to know that someone is
reading it. I know it’s wishful thinking, but that would be awesome!
Disclaimers: I
don’t own Glee. If I did, I would put Glee on Broadway. Second, I don’t own the
songs in the fic. I use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs
will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work
EXACTLY like canon.
Thanks: Wayne
Kotke and Gleekast, Chris, Darren, Lea, Cory, Ryan, the writers of Glee, my
former writing partner AS (I miss you, chickie!), and of course last but not at
all least, all my wonderful loyal readers. We’re almost done!!!
******
Blaine was so glad to get out of the hospital. He was so
sick of the place because he had spent too much time there over the past
several years. First was the “Sadie Hawkins incident” as he had taken to
calling it. Then there was “Slushie-gate.” And there were a few times he didn’t
even tell Kurt about. They were overnight stays, or Emergency room visits due
to his father’s temper. His mother always had a convenient excuse for her son’s
injuries, and sadly the doctors never questioned it.
There was an even bigger reason Blaine wanted to get out of
there, and the sooner he was gone the better. He was terrified that his father
was going to come and find him in his hospital room. Knowing Anderson, he would
act like nothing had ever happened. He also didn’t want Kurt to come face to
face with his father. He shuddered picturing the face-off between the two men. “I just need to get away. Right now!”
Blaine thought frantically.
Kurt was also glad to get out of the hospital and back home.
Lima General was the site of some of the most heartbreaking moments of his
life. It’s where he lost his mom, it’s where he almost lost his dad a couple
years ago, it’s where one of his friends ended up after almost taking his life,
and it’s where his soulmate arrived after having his body and heart broken by
the one person he was supposed to depend on. Everything about the place was so
depressing.
Burt pushed the wheelchair to the car, so Kurt grabbed
Blaine’s hand and held it as he walked beside him. In his other hand he carried
the backpack with Blaine’s clothes and his laptop. Blaine carried Maurice the stuffed
monkey on his lap. Burt assured Blaine that he would come back and get the
flowers later that day. Blaine was grateful that it was a requirement for a
discharged patient to be wheeled out of the hospital because walking hurt like
a son of a bitch.
“So, Blaine, Dad is being the best Dad in the world and
giving me a couple weeks before I need to start work so I can take care of you.
Be prepared to be spoiled rotten!” Kurt said, running his thumb over the back
of Blaine’s hand. “I’m here to cater to your every whim!”
“Really now?” Blaine said and side-eyed his boyfriend. “I’ll
have to remember that.”
Kurt realized what he said and blushed as he sputtered, “No,
not like that. Blaine! Dad is here! Stop being a dirty monkey!” Burt laughed,
but Kurt could tell his father was a bit uncomfortable about where the
conversation was going.
“Did I say anything?” Blaine retorted cheekily. “Maybe I’m
not the one with the dirty mind, Kurt.” He lifted Maurice and added, “I’m not
the dirty monkey. THIS is the dirty monkey!”
Burt abruptly stopped pushing the wheelchair and put his
fingers in his ears while yelling, “La La La La La, I can’t hear you!” He was
smiling, so Kurt knew that his father was just teasing him. Burt pulled his
fingers out of his ears and added, “I remember when you did that exact same
thing to me.”
“The sex talk. Oh god, I still have nightmares about that
evening,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes.
“It had to happen, Bud, and you know it!” Burt said and
clapped Kurt’s shoulder. “I really would rather not talk about my son’s love
life, so let’s get Blaine home and comfortable, okay?” Kurt didn’t say
anything, but his face turned a pretty shade of scarlet.
“Thanks again, Burt,” Blaine said and looked back at the
older man. “You’ve done so much for me already.”
“Don’t sweat it, sport. You just need to worry about getting
better,” Burt said and smiled at his young friend.
“Sport, Dad? Really? What are we, in the 1950s?” Kurt asked
and chuckled. He was just happy Blaine was still here. Right now, that’s all
that mattered.
They reached the car and Kurt helped Blaine get in the car
and buckled in. After making sure he was comfortable in the back seat, Kurt started
taking the wheelchair back to the hospital lobby.
Burt grabbed Kurt’s arm and murmured so Blaine couldn’t hear,
“I’ll get it. You wait in the car. Besides, I wanted to talk to hospital
security about Blaine’s dad. I’ll just be a few minutes.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt responded with a small smile. After Burt
grabbed the wheelchair and started quickly walking to the hospital entrance,
Kurt moved over to the passenger side back door and let himself in. “Dad will
be right back. He’s just returning the wheelchair.” He took Blaine’s hand. “Are
you okay, sweetie? You look exhausted.”
“It’s just the medication making me sleepy,” Blaine said,
looking in his boyfriend’s eyes. He could tell that Kurt was worried. “I’m
sorry for that outburst back there in the hospital room. Lots of emotions
flying around lately, you know.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. Feeling scared is completely valid.
Your life has been turned upside down. Believe me, I know EXACTLY what you’re
going through right now. Except, you know…” Kurt said, trailing off at the end
of the sentence because he didn’t want to bring the subject of Blaine’s father
up again.
“Yeah,” Blaine said quietly, looking down at their entwined
hands. “When we get home, can we cuddle? I think I really need that more than
anything else right now.
“Are you able to cuddle with your broken rib?” Kurt asked.
He didn’t want to aggravate his boyfriend’s injuries, but having a good cuddle
is exactly what he wanted.
“As long as I’m careful, sure,” Blaine responded. “I want to
talk about… things.”
“Uh oh, that sounds ominous,” Kurt teased. At Blaine’s wide
eyes, he added, “I’m joking! We definitely need to talk about everything that’s
happened. Are you sure you want to talk right away, though? You look like you
could fall asleep right now!”
“Kurt, I want to tell you everything. About my life. And I
want to tell you soon. After what happened this week, I just don’t want to keep
it from you anymore,” Blaine said with determination.
“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here,” Kurt said,
starting to worry about what his boyfriend might say. Blaine had made mention
about some issues before he left Kurt’s house that morning but refused to
expand on it.
Blaine was about to say something, but he was interrupted by
Burt opening the driver’s side door. He got in and turned around to face the
boys as he teased, “So I’m the chauffeur now! I see how it is!”
Kurt gave a mischievous expression and shrugged. “I can move
up front if you’re lonely, Dad,” he quipped.
“Don’t be a smart-ass,” Burt chuckled. “Let’s get you both
home before Carole sends out a search party. I think two this week is enough.”
“Look at who’s the smart-ass!” Kurt joked. It was nice to be
able to talk to his father like an adult. It wasn’t backtalk at all. It was just
some good old fashioned ribbing.
Blaine put his head back and closed his eyes. Yes, the
medication was killing the pain, but it was making him so damn sleepy. “Maybe a little mini-nap on the way back to
Kurt’s house is what I need,” he thought to himself. “Babe, wake me up when
we get to your house, okay?” he asked Kurt. “I can barely keep my eyes open!”
“Of course, love,” Kurt said gently, leaning over and giving
Blaine a kiss on the forehead.
The rest of the drive home was quiet because neither Burt
nor Kurt wanted to disrupt Blaine’s rest. Burt looked in the rear view mirror
and tried to get Kurt’s attention by waving. Kurt was playing with his phone and
saw his father in his peripheral vision. He looked up and noticed Burt giving a
worried look. Kurt knew what his father was thinking and just nodded. They were
both worried for Blaine.
“We need to have a family meeting later,” Burt whispered.
Kurt could read his lips in the mirror and nodded again, then went back to his
phone. Quinn had started sending him party ideas, and they were corresponding
and planning through a flurry of texts.
Several minutes later they pulled into the Hudson-Hummel
driveway. Amazingly, Blaine had fallen asleep completely. Kurt didn’t have the
heart to wake him, but he needed to get his boyfriend into the house somehow. The
summer heat was starting to get oppressive, and Blaine couldn’t stay in the
car. He gently unlatched Blaine’s seatbelt and tried to lift him. “Nope, not gonna happen,” Kurt thought to
himself. “I really need to work on my upper
body strength. Maybe Sam would be able to give me a few pointers, especially if
Finn is leaving town.”
Kurt stood quickly, almost whacking his head on the car door
frame. Cursing silently, he ran up to his father, who was about to enter the
house, “Dad, can you get Finn for me? Blaine is out cold and I don’t want to
wake him.” He looked back to the car. “Poor guy.”
“Yeah, sure,” Burt said and smiled, calling for Finn.
Finn came to the door. It looked like he exercising because
he was breathing heavily, “How’s it hanging, little brother? Dad said you
needed me?”
Kurt gave a dirty look and said haughtily, “How it’s hanging
is none of your business, Finn Hudson! I need your help. Blaine fell asleep in
the car, and I don’t want to wake him up. I tried lifting him to carry him in
the house, but I can’t seem to budge him. Can you carry him in for me?”
“No prob, dude. He in the backseat?” Finn asked and pointed
to Burt’s car.
“Yup. Just be careful with his broken rib and all,” Kurt
cautioned. He knew Finn could be a bit clumsy, but he couldn’t think of any
option other than leaving him in the car or waking him up.
Finn nodded and walked to the car. “Why are you breathing
heavily?” Kurt asked curiously. “Did I interrupt a workout or something?”
“Oh, Mom wanted me to move some crap around. You know, boxes
and stuff. Want to help me? It would be a good workout for you!” Finn asked. “We
need to get your upper body strength increased.”
Kurt looked at Finn appraisingly. He didn’t have a crush on
the tall man anymore, of course, but he did appreciate that his brother was the
epitome of a jock. Finn might look soft in the middle, but he was a pretty
strong dude.
“Maybe later,” Kurt said and opened the back door. Blaine
was still fast asleep, his head turned to the side. “Just be careful,” he
whispered. “We don’t need him back in the hospital. I love you with all my
heart, Finn, but you’re a klutz.”
“Kurt, have a little faith in your big brother, will you?”
Finn admonished. “You grab those bags in the backseat. I have Blaine.” He
ducked into the car and gently lifted the sleeping man into his arms. Kurt had
to stifle a laugh, because it was a pretty ridiculous image.
“Is Rachel here yet?” Kurt asked quietly. He was so looking
forward to a movie night because it seemed so normal, and this week had been
anything but normal. He could taste the popcorn already. He grabbed the two
bags and the stuffed monkey and joined his brother, who was walking very slowly
with Blaine in his arms.
“Nope. Just Mom, Sam and me. Rach said she’ll be here soon,”
Finn whispered. “Sorry, dude, I really need to concentrate so I don’t wipe out.
We can talk in the house.”
Kurt chuckled and nodded. At least Finn was being very
careful. He walked beside Finn, making sure to let him know if there was uneven
ground on the front walk. All of a sudden Blaine gave a groan and woke up.
“Good morning, sunshine!” Finn said brightly.
“Um….hello?” Blaine asked, confused. He tried looking down
and added, “And exactly why are you carrying me?”
“Oh, you got all drugged up, and we flew to Vegas and got
married. I’m just carrying you over the threshold!” Finn teased.
“What? How long was I out? Where’s Kurt?” Blaine demanded frantically,
trying to look around. Kurt was playing along with the prank so he hid outside
of Blaine’s circle of vision.
“In the house planning the reception. He gives his
blessing,” Finn deadpanned. At Blaine’s panicked look he snorted, “Oh my god,
you’re so gullible, Blaine! I’m just messing with you.”
Kurt started laughing and stepped into Blaine’s view. “You
just fell asleep in the car, and I didn’t want to wake you up. I asked Finn to
carry you in for me,” he explained as he smacked his brother on the arm. “Stop
teasing my sweetie, Finn!”
“Hey! I don’t know if you notice this or not, but I’m
carrying your boyfriend! I would suggest you not hit me. I don’t want to drop
him!” Finn exclaimed. “And you aren’t Mr. Innocence, either! I saw you
snickering out of sight.”
“Or you could, I don’t know, PUT ME DOWN? I can walk, you
know,” Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Finn’s neck. “Although I’ve always
wanted a big strapping man to carry me into his house,” he added, pretending to
flirt with his friend.
“Hey!” Kurt and Finn cried in unison. Kurt knew Blaine was teasing,
but Kurt was going to be the only one who would be carrying his man over the
threshold.
“Seriously, Finn, you can put me down. I’m not an invalid,”
Blaine assured his tall friend. “It might take a few hours to get anywhere, but
I can get around.” Finn shrugged and gently put Blaine down, making sure he was
standing steady. Kurt put his arm through Blaine’s, helping him into the house.
Carole came into the hall and exclaimed, “Here are my boys!”
She walked up to Kurt and Blaine and brought them both in for a gentle hug.
“Kurt, can you take Blaine straight into the family room? I have the hideaway
bed all set up for him. I’ll bring food in for you shortly.” She put her hand
on the side of Blaine’s face. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Blaine. I’ve been
beside myself since last night.”
“Thanks, Carole. I’ll be okay, really,” Blaine said
sincerely. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”
“You’re family, dear, and you know the Hudson-Hummels take
care of our family,” Carole responded. She got tears in her eyes. “You two go
on. I’ll join you soon.”
“I’m going back to moving stuff around with Sam. Sure you
don’t want to help, Kurt?” Finn asked, putting his arm around his brother’s
shoulders.
“Ewww, get your sweaty-ass self away from me!” Kurt shrieked
and pulled away. “Sorry Finn, involuntary reaction. You go ahead. I want to
make sure Blaine is comfortable.”
“Let me know if you change your mind,” Finn said and
shrugged. “It would really help those toothpick arms of yours, you know.” Kurt
just grimaced and gave the finger. “Love you, too,” Finn said as he left the
room.
They went into the family room and Kurt dropped the bags and
stuffed animal by the couch. He eased Blaine onto the hideaway bed and
instructed him to get under the covers.
“How many times do I have to say I’m fine, babe? Really,” Blaine
said. “You don’t need to baby me.”
“I said I was going to take care of you and that’s exactly
what I’m doing,” Kurt scolded and passed the stuffed animal to Blaine. “Here,
cuddle with Maurice. I’ll be right back. I’m going to help Mom with the food.”
“Mind if I use your laptop?” Blaine asked. “I think I left
mine in my car with the rest of my stuff. Everything is kinda hazy.”
“Of course!” Kurt said and took his laptop out of his
satchel and passed it to his boyfriend. “Knock yourself out.” His eyes widened.
“Oh my god, that was totally the wrong thing to say.”
Blaine looked up from the laptop and gave a smile as he
urged, “Just go get food, Kurt.”
Kurt leaned over and gently kissed Blaine, saying, “Relax! You’re
safe here. I love you so much.”
“Love you, too. Now scoot!” Blaine said, playfully smacking
Kurt’s butt.
Kurt gave a small squeal and looked back at Blaine who was
giving him a huge grin. He made his way to the kitchen where Carole looked like
she was cooking for a small army. “Hey, Mom. Need any help? Are we having
company?” he asked and kissed Carole on the cheek.
“You know I like to cook when I’m stressed, Kurt. Don’t
worry, I have five men in the house and Rachel will be joining us soon. I think
we’ll all find room for it,” Carole assured. “So how are you? We haven’t really
talked since Blaine was taken to the hospital.”
“I could be better, but I could be a hell of a lot worse,”
Kurt responded, running his hand through his short hair. “I don’t know. I think
maybe the shock of everything is starting to wear off. Blaine had a
mini-breakdown in the hospital room before we left, and I don’t know what to do
for him.”
“Just be there for him like he was there for you this week,”
Carole advised. “That’s all you really can do.”
“I guess. I just can’t imagine Dad beating me like that. I
think I’m still in denial about it happening to Blaine,” Kurt said, shaking his
head.
“Kurt, it happens more than you think. You are very blessed
to have such a loving family. There are some people who have families that
don’t want what’s best for their kids, and they use pretty heavy handed ways to
force their will. It’s very sad but a reality,” Carole explained. “Usually, it
happens to the ones you least expect.”
“God, this sucks,” Kurt muttered and sat at the kitchen
table. “How did I go from being a high school student to an adult in less than
a week? I thought there was a transition or something!”
Carole sat at the table and took Kurt’s hand. It was very
reminiscent of the conversation she’d had with Blaine a few days before. “You were
just the victim of some unfortunate circumstances, Kurt. You were forced to
grow up quickly. I assure you this isn’t the norm,” she explained. “Just relax
for now. Burt told me he’s giving you a couple weeks off work. Just make sure
to enjoy it and spend some time with Blaine.”
“I’m planning on it. Blaine and I have some decisions to
make. I just wish I knew how to make it all okay. I want to start this entire
week over,” Kurt groaned and put his head on his arms.
“Kurt, I’m going to give you a piece of advice. This might
be the most important piece of advice that you will ever hear. Things might look
bleak now, and it may never look like it’ll get better. But, honey, it will.
What’s more, you’re going to look back on this entire week and realize you
learned some important life lessons.”
“But everything seems so hopeless!” Kurt whined. “I mean, I
keep telling Blaine it’s going to be fine, but I’m lying through my teeth. How
am I going to take care of him when I can barely take care of myself?”
“I’m saying all this from personal experience, dear, so you
need to trust me,” Carole responded. “You are going to get through this and be
so much stronger. I know it’s cliché, but things happen for a reason. Sometimes
they aren’t apparent right away, but they will become clear in time. You just
need to have some patience.”
“Which is definitely in short supply lately,” Kurt interrupted.
“Anyhow, this is starting to hit After School Special levels of preachiness, so let’s just leave it
there,” Carole said and patted Kurt’s hand. “If you need to talk, you know
where I live.” She gave an awkward giggle at her own joke.
“Thanks, Mom. It did help,” Kurt responded. “So are you
absolutely sure you don’t need help?”
“Nah, I’ll bring in some snacks in a few. I figured we would
wait for Rachel to arrive before we eat,” Carole said and passed Kurt a couple
cans of soda.
“Ok, if you insist,” Kurt said and left the kitchen,
returning to the living room. There he was shocked to find Blaine looking at
the laptop, practically sobbing. Tears were streaming down his face. Kurt
quickly put the cans of soda on the table and rushed to his boyfriend’s side.
“Blaine! What’s wrong? Does it hurt? Do you need some painkillers? Talk to me, sweetie!”
he begged as he passed Blaine a box of tissues.
“No, no, it’s not that, Kurt. I’m just really happy,” Blaine
said as he accepted the box. “Take a look, babe.” He passed the laptop to Kurt
as he wiped his eyes and blew his nose. Kurt took back his laptop and noticed
that Blaine had logged on to Facebook. Blaine’s wall was crammed with well
wishes from McKinley students past and present. Not one message had a negative
connotation. There were also several private messages from members of New
Directions. Even Mercedes sent a message, apologizing for her absence the night
before.
“That’s amazing!” Kurt exclaimed and passed the computer
back to Blaine. “See? You aren’t alone in all this. There are so many who love
you; and, Blaine, I love you most of all.” He smiled and pushed a stray curl
from his boyfriend’s forehead.
“I know, and I love you, too,” Blaine sniffled as he grabbed
another tissue. “I don’t know, when I was in that car, I just felt so alone.
The feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming!”
“Oh, Blaine…” Kurt started.
“Don’t get me wrong. I do trust you, Kurt. You believe me,
right?” Kurt nodded. “But in that moment I felt lost, because the person who I
really should’ve trusted did this to me. Am I making any sense?” Blaine asked
and looked at Kurt with expectation.
“Of course! Your family is the one thing that you should
have complete trust in. As fabulous as we are, boyfriends and friends can come
and go. Family is that one constant,” Kurt answered.
“Except mine,” Blaine murmured. “I don’t know. I’m just
ready to give up.” He then looked at his hands because he wasn’t sure what to
say.
“Blaine, look at me!” Kurt commanded, his voice stern.
Blaine didn’t respond, so Kurt softened his tone and asked, “Please?” Blaine
looked up, his eyes screened with tears. Kurt wanted to yell at him; to tell
him that he needed to hold on; that all this pain and heartache would be eventually
go away.
Kurt shifted on the bed until he was sitting beside Blaine and
took the laptop, putting it on the table beside him. He then gently put his arm
around his heartbroken boyfriend and pulled Blaine to his chest, being careful
not to strain the injured man’s torso. Blaine let out a sob and wrapped his arms
around Kurt, holding as tight as his injuries would allow.
Kurt still felt lost about how to make Blaine feel better,
so he did what he normally would when he wasn’t sure how to solve an
insurmountable problem. He sang while stroking Blaine’s curly hair:
“Don't
give up.
It's just the weight of the world.
When your heart's heavy I will lift it for you.
Don't give up.
Because you want to be heard.
If silence keeps you I will break it for you.”
It's just the weight of the world.
When your heart's heavy I will lift it for you.
Don't give up.
Because you want to be heard.
If silence keeps you I will break it for you.”
“Everybody wants to be understood.
Well I can hear you.
Everybody wants to be loved.
Don't give up because you are loved.”
Well I can hear you.
Everybody wants to be loved.
Don't give up because you are loved.”
Blaine looked up at Kurt, his eyes shiny with tears. Kurt
took his thumb and wiped the tears from Blaine’s cheeks, then gave each cheek a
gentle kiss. Then he continued:
“Don't give up.
It's just the hurt that you hide.
When you're lost inside I will be there to find you.
Don't give up.
Because you want to burn bright.
If darkness blinds you I will shine to guide you.”
It's just the hurt that you hide.
When you're lost inside I will be there to find you.
Don't give up.
Because you want to burn bright.
If darkness blinds you I will shine to guide you.”
“Everybody
wants to be understood.
Well I can hear you.
Everybody wants to be loved.
Don't give up because you are loved.”
Well I can hear you.
Everybody wants to be loved.
Don't give up because you are loved.”
“Thank you, babe,” Blaine said, trying to give a smile. He hugged Kurt again and asked, “How is it possible?” He didn’t let go, so Kurt continued to embrace him.
“How is what possible?” Kurt responded, stroking Blaine’s back.
“Staying strong through all of this?” Blaine asked. “If it were me in
the same situation, I’d be a mess!”
“You didn’t see me last night,” Kurt said and let out a low whistle. “I
sorta went all nuclear on Finn last night. Punched him and everything. I think with
all that happened this week, my stress finally came to a head and I exploded.”
“What?” Blaine asked and pulled away, looking at Kurt. “Are you okay? Is
Finn okay?”
“We’re good. I just had to unload, and he was the closest victim. He let
me vent, and afterwards we hugged it out. I do love that big lug,” Kurt lamented
sadly. “I’m sure gonna miss him.”
“Yeah, me too. But it’s only for a year, right?” Blaine reminded Kurt.
“Aren’t we all getting a place together in New York?”
“Who knows anymore, Blaine. I’m still not sure what I’m doing with all
that. Right now, I’m taking it one week at a time. Otherwise, I might go
insane. Well, more insane than I already am,” Kurt joked.
“Let’s go crazy together, then,” Blaine said, trying to make a joke.
Instead, it just sounded pathetic.
They sat on the bed, just holding each other for a few minutes and
listening to the bustle of activity in the house. Kurt had his chin resting on
the top of Blaine’s head.
“Hey, Blaine?” Kurt asked.
“Yes, babe?” Blaine responded, sounding a bit sleepy.
“I have a confession to make. I did something last night that I never
thought I would ever do again,” Kurt started to say.
“Did you kiss a girl? It was Brittany, wasn’t it?” Blaine interrupted.
“You still carry a torch for her, don’t you?” He poked Kurt in the side,
showing his boyfriend that he was teasing.
“Stop being a dork!” Kurt admonished with a chuckle. “I’ve already had
Rachel accuse me of still carrying a torch for Finn this week. Don’t you
start!”
Blaine smiled and leaned up to give Kurt a gentle peck on the lips. He
hissed and held his side because he had overstretched himself.
“Just relax, Blaine. Do you need
your meds?” Kurt asked.
“No, I’m okay. I think I just moved the wrong way,” Blaine said. “So what’s
this thing you did last night? I promise not to tease you anymore.”
“I’m still trying to work things out, and I’m still struggling to
believe, but I prayed last night. In an actual chapel,” Kurt murmured. Blaine
looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes. “When you were unconscious I was so
scared, and I guess I just…”
“Kurt, there’s no need to explain,” Blaine said, putting his finger to
Kurt’s lips. “Praying is exactly what I do when I’m feeling scared or lonely.”
Kurt was about to say something but Blaine interrupted, “And I don’t expect you
to come to church with me on Sunday. We’ve already had this conversation. You’re
more than welcome, but I’m not making you go.”
“Thanks, Blaine,” Kurt said simply.
“I will say this, though, before I drop the subject. I’m touched that
you prayed for me,” Blaine explained. “If you ever have any questions about,
you know, God stuff, you know you can talk to me, right?” Kurt nodded as if to
say he understood and appreciated that Blaine wasn’t pushing the subject.
“Okay, so how much time do we have? I want to get this over with,”
Blaine asked. “Rehashing my past just plain sucks.”
“Mom said we’re waiting for Rachel before we eat. So we have a little
bit of time, at least,” Kurt answered.
“Maybe we can go outside or something? This isn’t something I want to
talk about in the middle of the family room,” Blaine said.
Kurt was both curious and nervous. What was it about Blaine’s life that
he didn’t want anyone to know about? He was worried as he thought Blaine’s
abuse situation was bad enough. What other secret was Blaine hiding?
“Are you sure you can move around? I don’t want you to injure yourself
further,” Kurt inquired. “We can go hang in the backyard, or we can go up to my
room if you can take the stairs.”
“Climbing the stairs might be a little too ambitious right now. Let’s go
to the porch,” Blaine suggested. “I promise, Kurt, what I want to tell you isn’t
that bad. Well, not that bad anymore. I don’t want to share this with anyone
but you for now. I’m not ready for people to know about my past.”
Kurt got off the bed and helped Blaine get out with great effort. “It’s hard moving someone when you’re afraid
of hurting them!” Kurt thought to himself.
“Babe, I’m really okay. I don’t need your help. It’s my ribs that are killing
me. I can walk as long as I take it slow,” Blaine assured.
“Just humor me, dear,” Kurt said distractedly, draping Blaine’s arm
around his shoulder.
“Dear? Are we a married couple, now?” Blaine asked with a giggle as he
slowly stood up.
“Okay, darling! Is that better?” Kurt asked sarcastically.
“No need to get snippy, dear,” Blaine snarked. They looked at each other
and started laughing at the absurdity of the argument.
They slowly made their way to the kitchen and back door. It was the
easiest way to get to the porch without having to navigate stairs.
Carole saw them entering the kitchen and put down the casserole dish she
was carrying. “What are you doing up, Blaine? You should be resting. Did you
need anything?” she asked.
“I just wanted to go outside and get some fresh air,” Blaine explained.
“I really hate hospitals. They’re so stuffy! Kurt is going to help me out. I
promise I won’t go very far.”
“As long as you’re sure you can handle it,” Carole said uncertainly and
Blaine nodded. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, then. Just call.”
The two men shuffled out the back door and Kurt helped Blaine sit in the
chair. Blaine winced and held his side. “Piece of advice, babe. Never get a
broken rib. It feels like I’m getting stabbed every time I breathe,” he said. “Maybe
I should have taken a painkiller.”
“This was a bad idea,” Kurt said as he sat in the chair beside him. “Oh
well, we’re here now, aren’t we?” He sat forward and looked at Blaine. “Okay,
so what do you want to talk about?”
“Well, there’s not a lot to say. It’s just important,” Blaine began. “So
when I was younger? I wasn’t a very nice kid.”
“What do you mean?” Kurt asked.
“I was a nasty little shit. I was firmly in the closet, and I was pretty
pissed off most of the time,” Blaine responded. “I made Sebastian look like a
precious angel sent from the fluffy clouds of heaven above. I was terrible to
my classmates and my teachers. I won’t get into the events leading up to it,
but I eventually decided to come out, and I thought things were going to be
better. I found friends like me and discovered my love of performing. Well, you
know what happened next.”
“The Sadie Hawkins dance?” Kurt asked.
“The Sadie Hawkins dance,” Blaine repeated. “There’s no way in hell I’m
going to relive that horror, but I was beat up worse than I am now. Had a few
more broken bones and even a concussion. I was held back a year because I
missed so much school. That’s why I’m a senior now and not a graduate. If it
wasn’t for those assholes, Kurt, you and I would have graduated and moved to
New York together. Anyhow, that’s neither here nor there and really doesn’t
figure into this.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Kurt asked, confused. “I mean, you know
you can tell me anything, but why now?”
“I told you I was going to tell you about my past, and you are aware of
most of it. I’m just completing the picture, so to speak,” Blaine responded.
“Makes sense, I guess,” Kurt said. “So, go on, please.”
“So when all that crap happened, something inside me broke. I was an
emotional hot mess. There was only one thing that dulled the pain,” Blaine
continued. “The crowd I hung around with were pretty rough, but they basically
abandoned me when I came out of the closet. However, out of those tenuous
friendships I made some unsavory contacts. They provided me with as much hard
liquor as I could get. At 14 damn years old. Pretty pathetic, huh?”
“Um….wow,” Kurt said and took Blaine’s hands. “That’s…surprising.” Kurt
was struggling to find the proper words to react. This was another in a series
of bigger and bigger knowledge bombs.
“So as you know, my parents transferred me to Dalton. I would have to
say that transfer was one of the only things they did for me that was good,”
Blaine said. “It was really rough at first. Especially since I spent the first
year in dorm. That meant a LOT of freedom. I would get drunk every weekend and
sometimes even during the week while classes were in session. I also remained
quite angry at the world. Remember that conversation we had about having rage
issues? That part of my life is where it originated.”
“You really DO understand, then,” Kurt whispered.
“Yup. More than you know, babe. For the most part, that part of my life
is behind me, and I have most of it under control,” Blaine said. “The Warblers
were such a good influence on my life, and for that I will be eternally
grateful. I do have my moments, though, like you saw last year with Sam. I
promise, Kurt, I’ll never hurt you. I’ve never taken out my rage on anyone
other than the odd shoving match, and I don’t think I ever will.”
“I’m not scared of that, Blaine. Not at all. My heart is breaking for
you, though,” Kurt said with tears in his eyes. “You’ve been through so much!”
“There’s something you need to know, though,” Blaine said and lifted
Kurt’s hand to his lips as he gave a gentle kiss. “Especially if we plan on
taking our relationship to the next level. Kurt, I’m an alcoholic.”
“What?” Kurt asked, his eyes widening. “But that’s impossible! I’ve only
seen you drinking alcohol twice!”
“Well, I guess the more appropriate term is recovering alcoholic,”
Blaine corrected. “Why do you think it’s almost impossible for me to refuse
alcohol? I just find it easier to keep it out of my life entirely. When I start
drinking, I find it very hard to stop.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” Kurt said and looked down, not wanting to make
eye contact with his boyfriend. It wasn’t that he was angry at Blaine. It was
just a lot to process.
“Babe, are you mad at me? I don’t think I could bear it if you were mad
at me,” Blaine said and squeezed Kurt’s hands.
“No! Not at all!” Kurt exclaimed, getting off the chair and kneeling in
front of his boyfriend. He put his hands on Blaine’s face. “Thank you so much
for telling me this part of your life. We promised no secrets, right?”
“Right,” Blaine said and gave a small smile.
“Right! And remember we’re a team, come what may,” Kurt said. “That’s
our promise to each other. No matter what happens, we’ll get through this. I
just need a little time to digest all these new revelations. I think I’ve hit
the saturation point of new information.”
“I understand, babe. I just wanted to share this part of me. Maybe now
you understand why I acted the way I did the other day. I know these are my
issues to deal with, but I’m so glad I have your support. Thank you, Kurt,”
Blaine said, tears coming back to his eyes. He was so relieved Kurt didn’t
disown him after revealing the darkest part of himself. “Can we go back inside
now? I’m exhausted.”
“Sure,” Kurt agreed. “I could use a good snuggle until Rachel gets here.
There must be something decent on TV.”
“Project Runway is on in about
15 minutes,” Blaine suggested.
“I knew you were my soul mate for a reason!” Kurt exclaimed and help
pull Blaine up. They were about to reenter the house when Kurt stopped, turned
to Blaine and gave him a slow kiss.
“What was that for?” Blaine asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Do I need a reason?” Kurt asked with one eyebrows raised.
“No, but can you do that again?” Blaine asked. Kurt chuckled and gave
Blaine another kiss.
“Blainers!” a voice shrieked. “You’re supposed to be in bed. Kurt, I’m
surprised at you for letting him walk around!”
“Hi, Rachel,” the two men said in monotone and rolled their eyes at each
other.
“You both get your butts in this house right now!” Rachel demanded.
“What did I say about being bossy, Rachel!” Kurt warned as he put his
hand on his hip.
“Sorry, sorry! I’m backing off,” Rachel corrected herself. “Would you
two gentlemen be so kind as to return to the house? We are about to dine and we
would simply despair without your presence!” She put the back of her hand to
her forehead dramatically.
“No need to be a smart-ass, Rach,” Kurt said drily as he took Blaine’s
arm to help him inside.
“Seems I can’t win no matter what I say,” Rachel grumbled.
“What is that, darling?” Kurt asked.
“Nothing!” Rachel said, trying to cover up her griping. “Let’s just go
eat.”
“Exactly,” Kurt said, winking at Blaine. Sometimes it was so fun
torturing Rachel. Who needed television when he had his best friend?
Kurt was quiet as they entered the house. There were so many decisions
to be made, so many arrangements to… well… arrange, and so much to think about.
How was it that in the span of a week, his life had switched from relatively
normal – or at least relatively normal for a gay man in Middle America – to
this utter soap opera? The events of this past week made the dramas in New
Directions seem like a children’s story! “Well,
right now all I want to do is have a good meal with the people I love, then
have a cuddle fest with Blaine,” Kurt thought to himself. “Although I’m sure Rachel will horn in
somehow. The rest we can figure out later. At least I hope we can.”
******
A/N: Couldn’t
have a Glee story without some Josh Groban, could we? The song is called “Don’t
Give Up (You Are Loved)” but if you know know of Mr. Groban, you know about
this song.
