Cruel Summer Chapter 17 - Tell Him

Word Count: 7,413/189,000

Rating: PG-13 Warning: Drinking and Recreational Drug Use

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Hi Ho everyone! I am suffering from a cold so bear with me. This chapter is basically fluff through and through, with some important storyline parts at the beginning and end. This was one of my favorite chapters to write, because it is so weird.We also wanted some fun stuff before things got serious again. And they will. As usual, AS sends a howdy with a little hand wave!

Disclaimers: Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would plan a glee cruise with the cast. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. Yadda yadda yadda, hehe.

Thanks: Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Also cast and crew of Glee. Ryan Murphy, you are amazeballs!

********

Blaine decided to drive his car to pick up the snacks, and Rachel didn’t protest. She wasn’t into cars or anything, but Blaine’s BMW was so nice! “I have always wanted a Beamer, and once my dreams came true on Broadway, it would be my first car,” Rachel thought to herself confidently.  “Of course, if I could request it, it will be pink, my signature color. After all, shouldn’t I have all the good things in life when I’m famous? I worked hard enough for it! All those voice lessons and dance lessons had to be worth something, especially since I had to sacrifice so much of my young life to dedicate to my craft. Well, fame takes sacrifice, and that is what I am willing to do.”

As they drove out of Rachel’s neighborhood, Blaine spotted a park with a small playground and asked, “Hey Rach, mind stopping here for a bit? I always loved playgrounds.” He just wanted some time to think, and the park was always a good place to do so. Anytime he wanted to get away from his family, he used to go to the park and sit on a swing. It seemed to calm him down.

“Sure!” Rachel exclaimed. “Let’s see who can swing the highest!” They parked and made their way to the playground. Rachel was skipping and dragging Blaine behind her. With her pink ensemble and pigtails, she looked like a little kid; it was quite cute. 

They spent the next several minutes pushing each other on the swing, and Blaine started feeling much better. Just the act of swinging made him feel like a kid again, and for a little bit he forgot about being an adult, or at least an adult-in-training. Thankfully he didn’t have to grow up just yet. To Rachel’s delight, Blaine swung as high as he could and jumped off the swing, tucking and rolling when he hit the ground. He had training in theatrical tumbling, so this sort of stuff came easily to him.

After they got their fill of the playground equipment, Blaine made his way to the picnic table and Rachel followed. There was no one else at the park as the sun had set not too long ago. He sat down on the bench and put his chin in his hands, pondering the unfairness of life. Changing his mind, he pulled out his Swiss army knife. He carried it for emergencies and found it came in handy at times.

He was suddenly starting to feel very fidgety. Rachel looked at him but didn’t say anything. She knew that her friend was bothered by something and figured he would talk if he wanted advice.

Without thinking, Blaine scratched “I Love Kurt H” on the table with the knife. He didn’t even realize he was doing it until Rachel pointed it out. “Blaine, I’m not sure if vandalism is a good idea,” she scolded. “I have to say, though, it’s pretty romantic.”

“Sorry, hon. Lots on my mind,” he said absently as he continued to scratch at the table.

“It might make you feel better if you talk to me about it,” said Rachel, gently taking the Swiss army knife from Blaine and closing it. She didn’t want any accidents tonight. Besides, blood grossed her out. She silently prayed that her first gig wasn’t going to be a murder mystery. It would be embarrassing to refuse her first professional job on principle.

Blaine just looked at Rachel, wondering if he wanted to spill his innermost feelings. Yes, they were close friends, best friends even, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to expose himself like that. After a moment or two of quiet reflection, he decided the best way was to sing it:

“I'm scared. So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak if I tremble when I speak.
What if there's another place he's thinking of?
Maybe he's not in love.
I'd feel like a fool. Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do!

Rachel knew exactly what he was talking about. She also knew what song he was singing and was impressed that he picked a Barbra/Celine duet to express his feelings. She answered by singing:

“I've been there with my heart out in my hand.
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance to love him pass you by.”

Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes.
Reach out to him and whisper,
Tender words so soft and sweet.
Hold him close to feel his heartbeat.
Love will be the gift you give yourself.”

She stood up and sat across from Blaine and grabbed his hands. She continued advising him:

“Touch him with the gentleness you feel inside.
Your love can't be denied.
The truth will set you free.
You'll have what's meant to be.
All in time you'll see.”

Blaine had tears in his eyes. He was so happy Rachel understood what he was feeling. He felt silly keeping this from her. He resumed pouring out his heart to her about his feelings for Kurt:

“I love him!
Of that much I can be sure.
I don't think I could endure,
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say.”

Rachel grinned at her friend. This man was sharing his innermost feelings about her best friend. She wanted nothing but the best for both of them, and it made her happy that Blaine felt this way. She stood up and pulled Blaine up, still holding his hands. They both sang:

“Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes.
Reach out to him and whisper,
Tender words so soft and sweet.
Hold him close to feel his heart beat.
Love will be the gift you give yourself.”

Blaine smiled as the tears fell down his cheeks. He knew that Kurt was his soulmate. He just needed some time to realize it, and affirmation from the unlikeliest source. Rachel pulled him in for a hug as she finished the song:

“Never let him go.”

“Thank you, Rachel,” sniffed Blaine. He didn’t want to cry anymore, but it seemed to be the only way to get out the pent-up emotion.

“I love you, Blaine, and I love Kurt. More than I think you know. Having you two together would make me very happy. So how about we get those snacks and maybe we can call Kurt later, okay?” Rachel said gently.

“Sure,” Blaine said and smiled. He turned away to walk back to the car but change his mind and kissed Rachel on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Rachel asked, surprised at Blaine’s sudden token of affection. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Yes you have,” Blaine responded. “You helped me realize what I really wanted. Let’s go get those snacks.”

***************

While Rachel and Blaine were on their late night quest for munchies, Noah Puckerman was planning some fun of his own. He hated seeing Kurt so bummed out, so Puck did what he normally would do when things went to hell.

“So what’s so important that I MUST go outside?” Kurt asked with a grin. He looked over to Finn and added, “Where’s Mom anyway?”

“She went over to Emma and Shue’s to watch a movie or something. She said she would be home late, so don’t wait up,” Finn answered with a shrug. “I don’t put a tracker on her, Kurt.”

Kurt noticed that Finn was a little pissy tonight and looked distracted, so he shrugged and ignored his brother’s mood.

“Which makes what we’re going to do tonight that much easier,” Puck said with an evil chuckle.

Kurt looked at Puck suspiciously. “Noah, if you expect me to do any sort of vandalism, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I may look like a badass, but a badass I’m not,” he said to his mohawked friend sternly. He hoped his makeover was only on the outside, although he was quickly realizing his changes were happening internally as well. The world he once knew was being revealed as something completely different.

“Don’t get your panties in a knot, Hummel. It’s nothing like that. We’re just going to hang in the backyard for a while. I got you a present,” Puck said and walked to the shed beside the hammock. He opened the door and pulled out two boxes filled with bottles. “My uncle bought these for me. Got a case of beer for us and some wine coolers for you.”

Kurt shook his head vehemently and exclaimed, “No way! After the hangover I had the other day, I’m never again putting another beer bottle to my lips! I’ll hang out with you guys, but I’m going to refuse, sorry Puck.”

“But that’s why I got you the coolers! They give a much less harsh hangover, and most of the time, nothing at all. Right boys?” Puck asked the other two men. Sam and Finn grinned and nodded their agreement. “Here’s another drinker’s secret,” Puck added and leaned into Kurt almost whispering. “Drink lots of water before bed and you won’t have a hangover at all! How in the hell do you think I got to school every day?”

“Well, Rachel never did mention anything about a hangover when she was drinking those pink things at her party,” Kurt mused. The only thing he could remember Rachel doing that night was singing and making out with Blaine, and yelling about how her drink “tastes like pink!” Kurt was still feeling particularly down, and missing Blaine wasn’t helping the situation. “Okay, fine! If you insist. But only one!” he said, putting out his hand for the bottle.

No one handed Kurt a bottle, but Finn spoke up, his mood inexplicably flipping from sullen to happy.

 “Look, bro, we figured you could use a guy’s night out. We can do something else if you prefer,” suggested Finn. “The bowling alley is open late tonight.”

“Maybe he really was jealous of my friendship with Rachel. He would get along with Blaine tonight, then! Has everyone caught my crazy?” Kurt thought bitterly. He also thought about those gross rented shoes and gave a shudder, and a bar was the last place he wanted to be tonight. “No, this is fine. Why don’t we go to the park or something? It’s only a 15-minute walk from here, so we don’t have to drive. I’ve spent enough time at home. I need to go somewhere before I go insane,” he suggested hopefully.

“Sweet! We can do that!” cried Puck. “Finn, do you have a bag we can put these in?” he added, gesturing to the alcohol carelessly. Finn nodded and returned to the house to grab a duffel bag and some padding for the bottles. “Guys, wait right here. I gotta go get something from my bike.”

Kurt shrugged and sat on the hammock. Sam was just sitting on the lawn, playing with a blade of grass, so Kurt asked, “So Sam, we haven’t chatted in a while. What’s new with you?” He was just making small talk, although he was genuinely interested in Sam’s life. This new Kurt was going to be less self-centered. Less Rachel and more Blaine.

“Nothing too much. Getting ready to go home for the summer,” Sam responded. He and Kurt hung out in different social circles than the glee club, so conversation with Kurt was usually awkward. Sam figured the best thing to do in that situation was to say as little as possible.

“We’re going to miss you here at Chez Hudson-Hummel,” Kurt informed. “Will you be joining us at McKinley next year?”

“That’s the plan! Looks like you’ll have to deal with me for another year, Kurt,” Sam said with a giant smile. Kurt always liked Sam. Of course he had a tiny crush on Sam back in Kurt’s junior year, but like Finn, their relationship evolved into something akin to siblings. “I’m glad you’re coming back to help Mr. Schue.”

Kurt gave a shooing motion and stated, “Oh, it’s been a pleasure, Evans. I’m looking forward to hanging out with you more next year, if I end up staying. I’m pretty sure I will be.” When Puck and Finn didn’t return, Kurt lay down on the hammock and asked, “So what’s going on with you and Mercedes? I know she was leaving for LA this week. I’m a bit pissed she didn’t even say goodbye today. A text would have been nice. I was one of her earliest and biggest fans!” He scoffed, “Typical diva behavior. I know, ‘cause I’m the biggest one of all!”

Sam really liked this more casual Kurt. He was way easier to talk to. He always seemed so uptight before! Sam relaxed and opened up to his black-haired friend. “I have no idea what’s going on with her, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I care. Ever since she got that recording contract, she’s become way too much diva for me to handle. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. We tried a relationship twice and both times crashed and burned,” Sam said and shrugged. He really wasn’t too bothered by the whole thing, actually. He knew he should be, but he wasn’t. Life was too short.

“Not having much luck in the love department, huh?” Kurt asked, leaning over the hammock to look at his blond friend. “Welcome to the lonely hearts club. Population: Us.”

“Well, at the rate I’m going, I will have dated the entire single female population of the New Directions. Just call me the male Santana. Wait, she’s a lesbian, so now I think I just confused myself,” Sam laughed. “The guys are next. Interested?” he joked. He knew Kurt wouldn’t take him seriously, so a little harmless bromance flirting would be fine. He would never do that around the other guys, though.

Kurt laughed and pointed to himself. “You could have had this in my junior year. You snooze, you lose, Sam Evans. My heart belongs to someone else, at least I hope it does,” he said as he gave a big sad sigh.

“Look, Kurt, I don’t understand all that gay stuff. Hell, I barely understand relationship stuff period, but I know that Blaine is absolutely crazy for you. I can see it in the way he looks at you. Mercedes and I might not have worked things out, but I’m convinced you and Blaine will. Just give it a bit of time,” Sam advised then stood up, offering his hand to Kurt. “We better see what’s keeping those guys.”

“Sure,” Kurt said, taking Sam’s hand and allowing himself to be pulled up. “And Sam, homosexual relationships aren’t much different than hetero ones. Or so I have been led to believe. I don’t think there are any special rules or subsections to the handbook.” At Sam’s blank stare, he added drily, “No, there isn’t a gay user’s manual, Sam. I was kidding. Nevermind.”

Sam wasn’t following what Kurt was saying so he said, “I just wanted to thank you for sharing your home with me. You’ll always be my brother, Kurt,” and put his fist up for a fist bump. Kurt smiled and returned the gesture, then brought Sam in for a brotherly hug.

As they made their way to the front yard to look for the other two men, Sam asked, “So I hear you’ve discovered the intoxicating and addicting world of video games. Maybe later we can have a match?”

All of a sudden Kurt’s eyes lit up. He wanted to test his skills on anyone other than Finn. “You’re on! I want to beat someone other than Finn. Just don’t tell Puck, I want to surprise him by kicking his ass in the game,” Kurt said gleefully, well, as gleefully as could be for one so recently dumped, and clapped his friend on his back. He never imagined he would bond with the guys in New Directions over video games, of all things!

“If you think that’s fun, wait till I tell you about World of Warcraft! Elves and Orcs and dragons and swords. You can make your own character and go on all these adventures. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but in video game form!” said Sam excitedly. Any chance to talk about his favorite pastime was always a good thing. “Did you have those books when you were a kid? ‘Cause I totally have the entire collection you can borrow if you didn’t!”

“I think Blaine has a few of those books at home, but sure, feel free to bring them when you move back here,” Kurt chuckled at the sudden ramp up of enthusiasm his younger friend was showing. “This Warcraft World you talk about sounds interesting. Is that like Mario World, because Puck never shuts up about that game. Did you know he sat me down in class and tried to explain to me how Mario changed the world? I almost failed that Spanish exam, too!”

“Oh, it is interesting! And you can talk to people from all around the world! I’ll get you an account and we can hang out this summer when I’m home. I run a McKinley guild. Puck and Finn are in it, too. I’ll make sure to gear you up and send you some gold to get started. You need to pick a race and a class and decide where you want to start…” Sam was in his element and Kurt was completely lost, but he let Sam ramble on. If this game was as much fun as the war game he played with Finn, then Kurt was sure he’d like it. Sam stopped and grabbed Kurt’s arm as he said, “Oh! Kurt, you’ll love this. You can dress your avatar with whatever you want!” Sam wasn’t usually a man of many words, but he seemed to talk endlessly if he knew a lot about a subject. He was as enthusiastic about this game and geekdom in general as Kurt was about fashion. Maybe Kurt could learn to be one of those closet geeks. He had experience in being in the closet, so why not?

They found Finn and Puck in the front yard with their heads together, talking quietly. Finn looked like he was trying to talk Puck out of doing something. They saw Sam and Kurt and broke apart, as if they were caught doing something clandestine. “We ready to go?” Puck asked nonchalantly.

“I think you left something in the backyard, Noah,” Kurt informed and pointed back to where the bottles were still sitting in the box. He could tell his brother and his wayward friend were up to no good. Kurt was going to remain alert. When they were all in school and the football team got looks like that on their faces, Kurt either ended up in the dumpster or with slushie down his pants.

“Oh, shit, yeah! Glad you have the brains in this operation, Hummel,” Puck said and punched Kurt hard on the arm as he walked by. Kurt shot a dirty look and rubbed his aching arm. He would kill Puck a few extra times in game for that one, or maybe Kurt would tackle him from behind when he wasn’t looking.

“Okay, Kurt. Baby steps,” he thought to himself. “No wrestling with the jocks yet.”

Puck filled the bag with as many bottles as he could and hid the rest in the shed for later consumption. Kurt recognized that both he and Finn could get in some pretty deep shit if they were found out, so they had to be careful. Sometimes being a Congressman’s son wasn’t fun at all. 

Everything they did was potentially publicly scrutinized by Burt’s opponents.

As they were walking towards the neighborhood park, Kurt asked, “So what were you guys trying to hide back there?” Finn just pretended to look elsewhere but wouldn’t answer. “I’m not blind, gentlemen!” he said, exasperated the boys weren’t letting him in on the secret.

“Oh nothing, just packed some snacks. Call me gentleman and I’ll beat your ass!” Puck threatened.

“Now now, Puckerman, what did I say about flirting with me?” Kurt teased. “You aren’t my type. I’m the bad boy in the relationship, thank you!”

Puck said as he patted his jacket pocket, “Hey, Hummel, do you like brownies?”

“Yeah, why?” Kurt asked.

“No reason,” Puck responded snidely and shrugged.

Kurt looked at Puck with annoyance and said, “Then why did you ask me?”

“You’ll thank me later,” Puck retorted and started walking down the deserted dark street.

*******

They made their way to the closest park, which was the very same park Rachel and Blaine had been not a half hour before. It was really just a playground and a small grove of trees, but it was secluded and they were sure they wouldn’t be interrupted. They walked to the middle of the grove and were pleased to see they would be obscured from the rest of the neighborhood. Kurt realized he was still in Blaine’s sweats, but it wasn’t as if he was going out dining and dancing. He was hanging out in the middle of some woods, for god’s sake! Besides, he was going to be sitting on the ground, and these clothes could be dusted up.

The prissy side of him was fighting with the new-and-improved side of him, like some sort of weird angel and demon on his shoulder. “Kurt, dust and dirt cannot be good for your impeccable hair and skin!” prissy Kurt thought.

“God, get over yourself!” new-and-improved Kurt interjected. “This is what men do to bond. They go in the woods, they drink the beer, they have the barbeques and apparently they look at the breasts. At least according to beer commercials, they do. Although if they try to get me to look at boobs, I’m outta here!”

Kurt sat heavily on a fallen log and discovered by looking at the closest street sign that they were only two streets over from Rachel’s house. They were almost within yelling distance of Blaine. “Maybe I should go over and talk to him,” Kurt thought to himself. He shared his thoughts with the other men.

“To quote my homegirl, Mercedes, hell to the no! Kurt, you’re hanging out with the boys tonight! Blaine isn’t going anywhere! The Jewish Princess can babysit him tonight,” Puck said and gave Kurt a cooler. It was the very same shade of pink that Rachel drank at her ill-conceived party. Kurt rolled his eyes, opened the bottle and took a tentative sip. He was still nervous about drinking, but one bottle shouldn’t hurt him. He lost track of how much he drank after the first three bottles at Scandals. He wouldn’t let that happen this time!

“Hey, this isn’t bad!” Kurt exclaimed and took a larger drink. It tasted more like Kool-Aid than anything else. 

The four men sat on the ground, just shooting the shit about nothing in particular. They talked about the past year at McKinley, and Sam talked about his plans for the summer and next year as he would be the only one of the group left at the school. Kurt told them about his internship opportunity.

“Hummel, you’d be stupid not to apply!” advised Puck and passed Kurt another bottle when he noticed it was empty. Kurt was surprised to see he was on his fourth bottle. He didn’t feel smashed like he did at the bar, but he did feel a pleasant fuzziness. “Look, we’ll make sure Blaine behaves here, although I doubt he has an adventurous bone in his body. He’s boring.”

Kurt was going to make a lewd comment in response to Puck about adventurous bones and Blaine, but thought better of it. It was too easy. “I don’t even want to think about the internship right now. And Blaine isn’t boring. I call it safe,” said Kurt and tried to stand up to stretch his legs. Oops, there it was! The disconnected feeling of being drunk. As soon as he stood, he fell over again. The only thing he could do to react is laugh maniacally. That sent the other three men into gales of laughter. After everyone calmed down, Kurt sat up again with a bit of effort and added, “I need to talk to the family about it, and most importantly, Blaine.” He felt a small hunger pang and asked, “I’m starving! I should have brought those snacks I bought earlier. Hey Noah, you brought those brownies, right?”

Puck let out a giggle and said, “You sure about that, Kurt? It might upset your delicate stomach with all that pink girlie stuff in there.”

“Up yours, Puckerman,” Kurt said as he flipped Puck the bird. The other three laughed harder at Kurt’s indignities, and Puck passed over the baggie with the chocolate baked treat. Kurt tried to open the bag, but his fingers weren’t working properly. Kurt thrust the bag at Finn and whined, “Fiiiinnn… make the bag open!!” Finn gave one of his crooked grins which looked even more crooked when he was inebriated, and took the bag from his smaller brother. He knew they were having fun, but Finn felt a sense of protectiveness over Kurt. Finn thought maybe it was time to stop drinking and make sure Kurt was okay. He briefly debated coming clean, but opened the bag and passed it back. Ratting Puck out would break some bro code or something.

Kurt grabbed half a brownie just in case his stomach did get upset from eating it. He took a bite and gave a moan of pleasure. He grabbed the other half because he couldn’t let this tiny piece of heaven get away. “Dear Lord, Noah! Did you make these?” he asked.

“Yup! Nanna Connie’s secret recipe!” Puck said proudly.

“Well, I must get the recipe from you. Rachel and Blaine would love these!” Kurt said as if he were a housewife swapping recipes. Maybe in the morning he would make them a batch. 

Kurt wasn’t sure what he said, but Finn, Puck, and Sam started laughing harder. “I think there’s a joke at my expense,” Kurt thought drunkenly to himself. “Either that, or they find the stupidest things funny when they’re drunk.”

He finished the brownie and asked, “So what’s the secret ingredient? I bet it’s cinnamon.” Kurt was pretty good at baking. He aced Mrs. Hagberg’s home economics class, and he had a talent in finding hidden ingredients in pastries.

Puck got a serious look on his face and informed, “I don’t tell this secret to just anyone, but I really love you, Kurt, so I’ll share. Yes, it’s cinnamon… straight from Sandy Ryerson’s private stores!” The serious look on Puck’s face melted and he fell over laughing, almost spilling his beer.

Kurt looked confused at first. What difference would it make if the cinnamon came from Sandy Ryerson? Did he have a secret blend of spices? All of a sudden Kurt’s eyes widened in horror and he asked, “When you say Sandy Ryerson, you mean that creepy former glee club teacher who has a side business selling recreational marijuana?” Unfortunately, it didn’t quite come out of his mouth like that. His words slurred together, but Puck got the gist of what he was saying.

“Kurt, you have just been exposed to pot brownies…enjoy!” Puck said and gave a high five to Sam.

“Goddamit Puck, I’m gonna kick your ass!” exclaimed Kurt and tried to get up. Yet again, he fell over. This time he didn’t laugh. He was uber pissed at Puck for putting him in this position. “Oh, screw it! I’ll kick it later. I’m comfortable,” he pouted. Doing anything other than lying on the ground involved more effort than he could give.

Finn had substantially less to drink and he didn’t have any brownies, so he told Kurt, “Little brother, I think I’m cutting you off for now, or I’ll have to carry you home.”

“Fine with me,” grumbled Kurt from the ground, still annoyed at Puck. Kurt figured he should stop drinking while he could still remember the evening. He rolled on his back and looked into the trees. He wasn’t sure, but he thought there were little lights flitting between the leaves. It really was quite pleasant. He lay there for several minutes enjoying the light show in the foliage above. Struck with a sudden stroke of inspiration, Kurt dug his phone out of his pants pocket and texted Blaine:

I luuuuuuuv uuuuuu!!! I am zo dunk! Puck gave me pot brnies!!! I luuuv Rchl two~!!!

Kurt thought that had to be one of the most profound things he had ever written to his boyfriend. He was sure Blaine would demand that Kurt write it out in calligraphy and frame it, so he could hang it in his bedroom like a precious work of art. Kurt was about to put his phone in his pocket and look at the pretty tree fairies again when he felt his phone vibrated with a text. Blaine had responded.

Did you just say pot brownies? I’m calling right now!

“Yaaaayyy! Blainers is calling me!” Kurt yelled to the apparent fairies in the trees. The other three men were cleaning the area of bottles and brownie wrappers, and they chuckled at Kurt’s outburst. They could hold their liquor much better than Kurt could, so they just let him lie there and chill. The phone rang and after great effort, Kurt pressed the answer key. “Hiiiiiiii my Blainers!!! I looovee you! I’m sorry I’m a terrible boyfriend!”

“Kurt, are you okay?” Blaine asked frantically from the other side of the phone line. “I love you too!”

“Tell Kurt to kick Finn’s ass for me!” Kurt heard Rachel say angrily in the background.

“Rachie! I want to talk to Rachie!” Kurt said excitedly.

“Maybe a little later, Kurt,” Blaine answered.

“Hey, Finn! Blaine loves me! That’s awesome!” Kurt called loudly from the ground. “I’m in the forest, Blaine! There are pretty fairy lights in the tree! Come see the fairy lights? I want to kiss you! Oh yeah! Sam flirted with me!” Kurt was too far gone to have a conversation that followed any logical path, and his inhibitions were obliterated. 

“Babe, can you put Finn on the line for me?” Blaine asked, trying not to laugh despite the feeling of panic he was having. He knew Kurt’s brother was there, but Finn could have been as messed up as Kurt was. Blaine was extremely disappointed in Finn, and would talk to him about watching out for Kurt later.

“Wheeeee! He called me babe!!!” Kurt yelled. Puck looked back and shushed him. “Sorry, Noah…” Kurt stage whispered and giggled. He tried to sit up but couldn’t. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, Blainers!” He laughed at the seemingly hilarious joke he just made.

“Kurt, I’m going to hang up now and call Finn, okay? You take care of yourself and I’ll see you very soon,” Blaine said soothingly.

“Okay Blaine. I miss you! I’m going to marry you someday, you know!” Kurt slurred. “And we’ll live in New York and have a little boy and a little girl and a pony. I promise!”

“A  pony, Kurt?” Blaine asked, slightly bemused. Kurt was really out of it.  “In New York City?”

“Yesth, our little girl, Bonnie Blue, will need a pony!” Kurt responded adamantly. “A cute little pony, all white. We can paint her little hoofs pink and put ribbons in her hair.”  

“The pony’s hair?” Blaine sounded confused. “And who’s Bonnie?”

“Oh Blaine, don’t be silly. Our daughter is Bonnie Blue and we’ll put ribbons in her hair!” Kurt replied indignantly. 

“I thought we were going to name her Rose Louise,” Blaine was clearly disappointed. He would have to address this issue with Kurt when Kurt was sober. “But I like the name Rose Louise!”

“Oh! No, no, no, no, silly, Rose doesn’t have a pony, only Bonnie Blue does!” Kurt sounded exasperated. 

There was a moment of silence at the other end. Blaine realized Kurt was really, really out of it. No point in fighting over something so irrational with someone who had obviously taken a “crazy pill”. Blaine finished the call with, “Okay. You’re right. I miss you. Bye, babe!”

Kurt pushed the end button on his phone and yelled to his brother, “Finn! Hey, Finn! Blaine is going to call you! Tell him I love him?” 

His phone vibrated again and he noticed the message was from Rachel.

Kurt, you be careful! I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m gonna kill Finn!

Kurt laughed, which was an inappropriate reaction, but everything seemed funny right now, and he sent a response:

Rachl, I luv U! Finn is my brthr and he can take car of mee!! Don’t worry. Sam hit on me!!!! Shh, don’t tell Bln.

Puck laughed and walked over to his wasted friend. He kneeled down and said kindly, “Hey Hummel, you need to keep it down. There are some houses around here. We don’t want to get in trouble, do we?”

“Oops! I’ll be quiet, I promise….shhhhhh,” Kurt whispered as if he was letting Puck in on some colossal secret. Puck nodded and patted Kurt on the head, like he was a child. Much louder, Kurt squealed, “Hey Noah, come watch the pretty fairy tree lights! Or Sam…send Sam over to hang out with me. I like Sam! He tried to ask me out!”

Puck shook his head. Maybe giving Kurt the pot brownies was a bad idea. Getting him home was going to be interesting. He walked over to Sam and asked, “Can you go keep an eye on Kurt? We can move over to the playground until he comes down.”

“This might not have been a well thought out plan,” Sam chuckled. He was used to Puck’s special brownies, and his alcohol tolerance was way higher than Kurt’s. “He has a wicked case of verbal diarrhea.”

“I just wanted to make him feel better,” Puck responded defensively. “My bad.” Sam clapped Puck on the shoulder before joining Kurt on the forest floor. Sam tried to explain the basics of online gaming. He eventually gave up when Kurt said he wanted to play a tree fairy. The irony was not lost on Sam.

Kurt started jabbering again about pretty fairy lights and leaves and stuff, as well as the deep questions of life. “Hey, Mr. Sam Evans, I have a really important question for you. It’s like the most important question in the whole world!”

“What is it, Kurt?” Sam asked, amused at Kurt’s innocence.

“Have you ever had the feeling that you were being watched by like millions of people? ‘Cause I have, and its sorta creepy,” Kurt said seriously. Sam just shook his head, thinking that Kurt had finally lost it. “I bet they’re watching us right now!”

“I bet they are,” Sam said, humoring his wasted friend.

“Hey Sam?” Kurt asked again.

“What?” Sam said, wondering how he got Kurt watching duty.

“I just had the coolest thought! Okay, my name is Kurt, right? Well, there is a word that means rude… that’s curt with a C. Wait, it gets better!” Kurt said, thinking Sam was going to interrupt him. “My dad? His name is Burt. That rhymes! Mine and Finn’s name together is Furt. Do you know what sounds like Furt? Fart! Isn’t that hilarious?”

“Real funny, Kurt,” said Sam, trying not to laugh. He was about to stand up and beg Finn to relieve him when Kurt grabbed his arm.

“Sam, I’m not done yet! Don’t be rude!” Kurt exclaimed. “Okay, so you and Finn would be Sinn and Finn and Puck would be Fu…”

“Alright, Hummel, why don’t you just lie there and look at the fairies and junk,” Puck interrupted, putting a clearly flustered Sam out of his misery.

“Why would I want to look at a fairy’s junk?” Kurt asked sincerely.

“Just pipe down, Homo Explosion!” Puck admonished.

“That isn’t nice, Noah!” Kurt whined but fell into a happy silence. Puck chuckled, because unbeknownst to Kurt, he had recorded the entire exchange. He filed it away for a future showing to Blaine.

Finn walked over to Puck and gave a low whistle. “I was just on the phone with Blaine. He’s so pissed at me! I told him that I’ll take care of Kurt, but I don’t think he believes me. I’ve seen Blaine when he’s mad, so I better not piss him off more. On top of everything Rachel is going to be mad at me, too,” he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Chill, dude, we don’t have to go back till he comes down a bit. Besides, I brought a couple cans of Coke for this reason!” Puck said and grabbed the duffel bag. “Look, can you and Sam bring Sir Drinks-a-lot over to the picnic table at the playground? We can hang out there.”

Finn and Sam tried lifting Kurt from the forest floor, but Kurt wasn’t making it easy. He was giggling and stumbling. “Screw it!” Finn grumbled and lifted his brother over his shoulder.

“Why are you carrying me like a sack of potatos, Finn?” Kurt asked wistfully. “I want to stay here! It’s pretty! Finn, you’re pretty, too!”

“We’re going over to the playground, Kurt,” Finn informed his brother. “Just hold on, will ya?”

“I can walk, you know!” Kurt cried, but he didn’t struggle. “Can I go on the swing?” he asked. That was a great idea and lots of fun!

Finn laughed and said, “Sure, if you can hold yourself upright.”

“I’ll do my best!” Kurt said eagerly. Finn shook his head and carried the smaller man to the swing set. He gently put Kurt down.

“There! Now sit!” Finn commanded. Kurt gave a pout, sat on the swing and almost fell off. “Sit, don’t swing! At least not till the stuff wears off.”

“Okay, Mister Bossy Pants!” Kurt said and stuck out his tongue immaturely. Finn noticed that Kurt turned into a five-year-old when high. He took the swing beside Kurt and sat down. Sam and Puck were sitting at the picnic table, talking about nothing in particular. Kurt looked over to his brother and asked, “Hey, Finn?”

“What, Kurt?” said Finn, getting lost in his own thoughts.

“You are my Big Brother and I love you and I love Mom and I love Dad and I love Blaine and I love Rachel too. I’m glad you joined my family,” Kurt rambled. He was feeling a bit brave so he started to gently swing. Thankfully, he didn’t fall off, although it took all his concentration to do so. “Rachel is going to be my sister, you know! And when Blaine and I get married, he will be your brother. So that would make Rachel and Blaine brother and sister! Wow! I think I just blew my own mind!”

That was the first time Kurt had ever told Finn he loved him. “I love you too, buddy,” Finn said distractedly.

Kurt noticed that Finn wasn’t himself this evening so he got off the swing and stumbled to the ground in front of Finn’s swing. “Finn, what’s wrong? Talk to your brother!” Kurt demanded, sitting cross-legged in the sand.

Finn stood up and offered his hand as he said, “Come on, Kurt. I want to talk to you guys about something.” 

“Okay, although I’m not sure how useful I’ll be.” said Kurt as he accepted the boost. He didn’t like the tone in Finn’s voice. Kurt was unsteady on his feet, but at least the alcohol was starting to wear off, even if the brownie wasn’t. 

They walked over to the picnic table and sat down. Puck pulled out some cans of Coke and passed them around.

“So, Puck already knows about this, and I talked to Blaine about it too, but I guess I should tell you guys…” Finn started.

“I love Blaine! We’re going to get married, you know!” Kurt informed everyone like it was a foregone conclusion.

“Kurt! Focus, please!” scolded Finn. Kurt looked down remorsefully and Finn continued, “I haven’t made up my mind one hundred percent yet, but I’m thinking of enlisting in the army.”

“Why would you want to do that?” asked Kurt, a bit confused from all the intoxication. “And what about the wedding? That’s like next week! Don’t tell me I have to re-plan the whole thing!”

“Kurt, you told me yourself that it was too soon. I still want to marry Rachel, but I need to find some sort of direction in my life,” Finn responded. “I also need a way to provide for her. I don’t think Dad’s shop is it, especially if I’m moving to New York with Rachel.”

Kurt was feeling a bit blurry in the head, but he attempted to share his thoughts by advising, “I said it was too soon when you were in school! Things are different now. We’re adults, as much as it kills me to say it.” He didn’t want to admit it, but the different thing for Kurt was Blaine and their future. He would marry Blaine in a second if it didn’t look just as bad as Finn’s marriage to Rachel. Bad as in totally premature and way too soon. Kurt had to be the more practical brother, after all. “There are tons of jobs in New York!”

“I’m talking to you as my brother, not as Rachel’s best friend. Kurt, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about my real dad.” Finn explained the real reason he wanted to join the army. He told Kurt everything about his real dad, and not just the cleaned up version his mom told him most of his life. As he listened, Kurt’s eyes got wider. Sam just listened in, but didn’t say anything. 

“Finn! Oh my god! That’s terrible! This is something you definitely have to do, then!” Kurt said and put his hand on his brother’s arm. “But what about Rachel? Are you going to leave her? ‘Cause I’m not sure I can handle that.”

“No, no. Nothing like that. But I think I’m calling off the wedding, at least for now. Once I enlist, I need to go through basic training, and goodness knows where I’ll end up. Please don’t tell her? I want to be the one to give her the news. She’s going to hate me, but it’s something I need to do.” Finn pounded the table with frustration. “God, I hate this!”

Kurt was partially sobered up by now, although he was still feeling pretty high. At least he could string some coherent thoughts together. Big news did that to you. “Finn, you have to do what you need to. Rachel isn’t going anywhere. She will wait for you. I know it! I also know how much your dad meant to you, and how his story always inspired you. This is going to be really challenging, but you have my support. Why don’t we talk to Mom and Dad when Dad comes home tomorrow?”

“That would work,” Finn said quietly. “And you won’t tell Rachel?”

“Finn, I’ll be lucky if I remember anything from tonight,” Kurt informed and turned to Puck. “By the way, Noah? You. Me. Ass-kicking. Tomorrow. It’s on!” He looked down and did a double take in surprise. He didn’t notice it before, but on the table was scratched out ‘I Love Kurt H.’ Was Blaine there before him?

“You’re awesome, Kurt,” Puck said with a smile. “I love you, man!”

“And don’t you forget it!” Kurt said and stood up. He was much steadier on his feet. “Guys, I have an idea. Since I’m what you would call ‘wasted,’ I want to do something impulsive.

“What do you have in mind?” Sam asked. He could see the mischievous look on Kurt’s face and was intrigued and a little scared.

“I think we need to pay a little visit to the Berrys!” Kurt announced.

“Woo hoo! Time to kick Anderson’s ass!” cried Puck happily. Kurt just pushed him, laughed, and stumbled away.

“Oh god, what is he going to do?” Finn asked nervously. Puck laughed and followed his intoxicated friend.

******

Song is “Tell Him” by Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion. I felt it was fitting considering that Rachel was part of the duet. I know this was a weird chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. Just wanted some fluff before shit got real again. Also, we have decided to split Cruel Summer in two as this one is getting huge...so this one should end at chapter 25-ish with an epilogue, then we will start in on part two right away. I'll keep all you shiny happy people informed.

Cruel Summer Chapter 16 - Hopelessly Devoted

Word Count: 8,490/189,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Dear Friends, here we are again to continue our journey. Hope you are enjoying yourself. Not much to say today, other than we are glad you like it! Life is becoming busy with me because of my upcoming vacation, so there is a small chance we may only post once a week till I leave, but we haven’t decided anything yet. I just don’t want us to run out of chapters and have to play catchup! Also, our chapters are getting longer and longer, so we are trying to decide whether to split them, and that’s always fun, hehe. So enjoy, and as usual, AS sends her fondest greetings. Also don’t forget to follow me on twitter at KurtsieKalanai. Let me know who you are and I will follow you back. Still bugging AS to get a twitter. Get on it, girl!

Disclaimers: Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would write Glee: the Musical and put it on Broadway. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. I think you know the rest.

Thanks: As usual, our beta Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Also to the cast and crew of Glee, specifically Ryan, Chris and Darren. We wouldn’t have this without you!

**********

While Blaine and the Father Berrys were having story time, Rachel and Kurt made their way to the supermarket, where they stocked up on only the best sugary and fat-filled junk food. There was a time and a place for eating reasonably, and this wasn’t one of them. Our singing duo bought soda and chips and ice cream and several types of chocolate bars. 

In a surprising and bold move, Kurt dragged Rachel down the packaged side dish aisle and grabbed a box of macaroni and cheese. Not the powdered kind. No! The one with the yummy foil package of liquid, gooey, cheese goodness lurking inside, ready to be squirted on pasta made months (possibly years) ago. Rachel raised her eyebrows in horror, but Kurt shrugged and confessed, “It tastes better than my homemade and takes a lot less work. Shhh! Don’t tell anybody.” Rachel solemnly crossed her heart and pledged her silence. He also picked up a tub of cake icing. “Instant diabetes, but sooo good,” he added, showing Rachel the nutritional information. “I used to eat these with Dad before I became health conscious.”

Now it’s important to note, Rachel did promise herself she would go back to her diet and exercise regimen starting the next day. There was no need to worry about her waistline. Kurt, however, promised no such thing. Breaking up with one’s boyfriend is always an acceptable excuse to fulfill one’s desire for comfort food.

When Rachel and Kurt arrived back at his house, they noticed almost all the cars from the party were gone, except for the ones that belonged to Finn, Sam, and Rachel. Puck’s dirt bike was there as well. Kurt let out a sigh of relief as he didn’t want to have to explain to everyone what just happened. He looked like a hot mess, and the less people who saw that, the better. What he really wanted to do was turn back time and start over. He wondered if that was even possible. Some major changes had been made, and there was no turning back.

They made their way into a silent and dark house. Kurt flipped on a few lights and called out, “Finn? Mom? Anyone home?” When he didn’t receive a response, Kurt shrugged and carried the bag of snacks to the kitchen. Rachel followed behind him with the soda bottles wondering how she had ended up with the heavier load. She debated lecturing Kurt about chivalry and who was going to be responsible for carrying what to their New York apartment, but she realized talking about New York might flare up more drama and wisely held her tongue. Kurt wasn’t thinking about equality in carrying heavy items in the house at the moment. He just wanted to wash his face! The makeup, which was mostly gone, was starting to irritate his skin because it was mixed with the salt of his tears.

Almost reading Kurt’s mind, Rachel put the soda bottles on the floor, grabbed the snack bag from Kurt and directed him, “You go upstairs and clean up. I can take care of this. Change into your pajamas and we can surf the cable TV stations or something, or if you prefer, I can raid Finn’s stupid movie collection.” She rolled her eyes but grinned at thinking about Finn’s comedy assortment. She had to admit some of them were pretty funny. Then in a flash of brilliance, she suggested, “Or we can watch Bridesmaids?” Then it occurred to her a marriage-themed comedy might not be the best thing for Kurt right now and recanted with “or maybe not.”

“Thanks, Rach. You’re a doll,” he said with a sad smile and kissed his best friend on the cheek. He made his way to his room, which looked so empty and sterile now without Blaine’s positive energy. He went to the bathroom, took off his bandana and thoroughly washed his face. After a moment’s consideration, he pulled one of the moisturizing lotions from underneath the sink. “Just one more time won’t hurt, right?” he thought to himself, trying to justify his decision. “My face has been through hell this week. This is just a pick-me-up!”

As he applied the lotion to his face, he stared at himself in the mirror. This was a completely different Kurt from a week ago. His clothes looked like something that Finn or Puck would wear. His new hair was something that he would never ever expect to wear, but he actually liked it. He wasn’t sure if it was possible but it looked like his youthful face aged a couple years in just a few short days. He always heard that excessive stress could do some strange things to your body. Maybe this was his result. Oh well, he always felt like he looked 12 years old most of the time anyway. He liked this harder, edgier look. 

His eyes and surrounding areas were red and puffy from all the crying, and the lotion was soothing on his burning skin. He gave his face a good once-over and returned to his room. He plopped down on his bed and took stock of his new surroundings, remembering most of his things were either broken and thrown out or removed to the basement room. The only new additions were the shopping bags containing his and Blaine’s new clothes. Kurt was so disappointed in tonight’s change of events as Blaine’s clothes would have looked so cute on him, and Kurt was so looking forward to dressing Blaine up and showing him off to all their friends. Kurt looked at his bedside table and noticed one more thing…

Sitting there was a brand new copy of the McKinley High’s Thunderclap. With a flash of embarrassment, Kurt remembered he had destroyed his old copy on that fateful day when his life changed forever. He picked it up and noticed a yellow post-it note on the front cover. It said:

Kurt,

Emma was able to get a spare copy of the yearbook from the school for you. We were going to give it to you at the party, but you left so abruptly. I hope everything is okay. Please look inside. We passed it around when you weren’t looking. J

Will

Kurt ran his fingers on the red cover, suddenly missing McKinley very much. He laughed bitterly at the fact that he spent so much time trying to get out of that school, only to want to return so soon. It was interesting how his priorities had changed in such a short time. Of course the hierarchy at the school had changed. Kurt would be the one in charge for once. He could make a difference in getting rid of the bullies from McKinley. 

He had one more priority: get Blaine back.

He opened the book and gave a short intake of breath.  On the inside cover were messages from his friends, including the adults. As he slowly paged through the yearbook, Kurt discovered even more notes. They all expressed how much Kurt meant to them, and how he changed their lives. Tears welled up in Kurt’s eyes and he felt a true sense of love and comfort, not just lip-service. Even Puck made a smartass remark with a lot of spelling mistakes, of course, but the sentiment was there. Kurt sometimes wondered how the man even graduated!

But he couldn’t spot any message from Blaine and started to panic. Maybe the yearbook didn’t make it to Blaine before he left. Kurt started flipping through pages looking for Blaine’s tidy tight handwriting until he got the last page, which was filled with Blaine’s distinctive scrawl. It said:

My Dearest Kurt,

I’m not sure what to say, but I think you know my exact feelings anyhow, so this isn’t really needed. But Puck threatened to beat me if I didn’t write something, so here goes. Kurt, I felt lost before I met you. My life sucked so much and I wasn’t sure where to turn. You were my beacon in the foggy night. You are my everything. The Andersons aren’t my family. You are. I know you’re bummed about staying in Lima, but I’ll make sure you’ll never want for anything while you remain here. I also promise we’ll make our new life in New York as soon as we can. Remember my promise I made at Christmas. I love you, Kurt, and you just need to remember one word:

Courage.

Yours forever and always,

Blaine

Under the note was a small heart with “B.A Loves K.H” inside. Kurt let out a sob and put his hand over his mouth. “I’m such a jerk,” he thought. Blaine must have written his sentiment right before Kurt announced he was considering applying for the internship. Kurt felt even worse. He touched Blaine’s signature then put his finger to his lips. He closed the yearbook and dug his phone out of his pocket. He knew this was probably a terrible idea, but he was going to do it anyway. He brought up Blaine’s contact info and was going to send a text, but changed his mind and pressed dial.

Kurt figured that Blaine either turned off his phone or rejected his call, because it went straight to voicemail. He took a deep breath because he didn’t want to sound like a blubbering mess when he left his message. Listening to Blaine’s silly voicemail greeting made his heart ache with longing, and when it was finished, Kurt said nervously, “Hi Blaine, it’s Kurt, but of course you know my voice.” Rachel walked into the room with a curious look. Kurt put his index finger up as if to ask Rachel to wait and continued, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Look, I really miss you and I just want to talk. I promise I won’t beg you to take me back or anything. I know you hate me, but I just wanted to check with you. Okay, I’m rambling so I’ll hang up now. Bye.” He was about to hang up when he changed his mind and added, “Call me when you can. I love you, and I’m sorry. Always remember that,” and hung up. 

He groaned and fell back on the bed. “Rachel, kill me now, please!” he whined.

“Kurt…” Rachel started.

Kurt put up his hand and interrupted, “I know that was extremely stupid, but I had to.” Still lying down, he grabbed the yearbook and lifted it above his body to Rachel. She grabbed it and looked down at him. “Read the last page,” Kurt instructed. Rachel opened the book to the last page and spent a few seconds reading the note Blaine left for Kurt. Her eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall at the lovely message, but they remained, causing her eyes to shimmer.

“That’s so beautiful,” she whispered. “I wish Finn was as poetic.”

“Well, those are the last words I’m ever going to see or hear from him, ‘cause I’m a gigantic dick,” Kurt muttered. 

Rachel sat on the bed beside Kurt and put her hand on his chest soothingly. “Kurt, I’m sorry, but I have to go,” she said with disappointment.

Kurt sat up quickly and exclaimed, “But you promised to stay, Rachel!” He didn’t want to be left alone tonight. He sat up too quickly and got a head rush so he held his head, trying to steady himself.

“I’ll be back. Daddy just called and said I’m needed home right away. I hope it isn’t an emergency or anything,” she said with concern and put her hand on Kurt’s arm, who was having some minor vertigo. “He didn’t say anything, just that something happened and I need to get home right away.”

After getting his equilibrium back, Kurt asked, “Do you want me to come with you? I really don’t mind.” For a moment, his severe depression and anxiety was replaced with concern for Rachel’s family. They were always so welcoming and kind to him and Blaine. Kurt flinched. He was so used to addressing himself as him and Blaine. Now it was just him and...nothing.

Rachel shook her head and said, “That’s fine, Kurt. Just stay here and relax. I need to go back and get some new clothes anyhow. Just go into Finn’s room and pick out some movies. I’ll be back in a half hour or so. Will you be okay till then?”

Kurt nodded but said with a slightly manic tone to his voice, “I hope so. I wonder where everyone is?” He stood up with Rachel and pulled her into a hug. “Please hurry back?” he asked huskily. “I need my Barbra.”

Rachel nodded and with a last squeeze left the room. Kurt grabbed some tissues and wiped his eyes. He was done crying, at least for now. He might as well make the most of this evening then try to talk to Blaine tomorrow. He wasn’t sure if his boyfriend...ex would even speak to him, but he had to at least try.

Kurt made his way over to his dresser to look for something to use as pajamas. His blue ones were streaked with butter from the popcorn fight the night before, so he couldn’t use them. He was little ashamed to spot them in a pile on the floor. Where was his laundry basket? Searching through empty drawers turned up nothing, Kurt was a little more than dismayed at the total havoc he had wreaked on his room. His other pajamas and embarrassingly enough his underclothes were with the rest of his missing clothes. What was he thinking? “Oh that’s right,” Kurt chided himself. “I wasn’t thinking now, was I?”  

He was about to look through his shopping bags, but he looked at Blaine’s drawer and opened it impulsively. Blaine kept all his items extremely organized. Kurt snorted because he knew that was Blaine’s father’s doing. Kurt’s mind suddenly switched gears and he realized with horror he couldn’t protect Blaine anymore from Mr. Anderson. More than anything else, knowing Blaine could be hurt again terrified him. No matter what happened between them, Kurt was going to talk to his father about what happened to Blaine. It couldn’t happen again.

After doing some rooting around, Kurt found what he was looking for in Blaine’s drawer. Blaine kept several Dalton t-shirts and a few McKinley jogging pants at Kurt’s to use for sleepwear. Blaine was a couple inches shorter than Kurt, but their pants size was very similar. Kurt brought the Dalton shirt up to his nose and inhaled deeply. Yes, it was sort of creepy, but Kurt wanted to remember Blaine in whatever way he could. Unfortunately, smelling like Tide wasn’t Blaine’s scent but whatever, Blaine was the last one to wear the shirt. That’s all the mattered. 

Kurt was really worried about seeing Blaine. At least returning his clothes could be a good way to exchange some final words and maybe win him back. Kurt sighed, he wasn’t sure when he would see Blaine again but he hoped it would be soon. 

After closing his eyes and picturing the curly-haired man in his head, Kurt gave a sad smile and changed into the shirt and jogging pants. Dang, Blaine liked his pants short. Kurt debated cutting them to a Bermuda short length and doing a minor hem job as he studied himself in the mirror. If he cut them, he would have to do it to a normal shorts length which Blaine loved and Kurt hated. Maybe it would be best to leave them alone after all. Kurt would refuse to wear regular jogging pants any other time, but perhaps he just didn’t care anymore. Or maybe this is what being an adult was all about. It was time to shed such shallow things as caring about a perfect appearance. Kurt didn’t know. All he knew was his head hurt from trying to figure it all out.   

Kurt decided to change his socks as they were all sweaty and grass stained from hanging out in the backyard. It was nice to just spend some time with his friends, especially considering the drama surrounding the last few days, most of it his fault. “Actually, all of it my fault,” he amended.

He opened the top drawer and was about to grab a pair of gym socks when he realized nothing was there. He had emptied this drawer like the rest. Kurt groaned and then felt a large pang of fear. “OH, CRAP!” he cried. He pulled the drawer open the rest of way and shoved his hand all the way in the back corner. Nothing on the left side but then on the right side his fingers hit something hard. His breath hitched because it was still there and it was safe. Kurt hadn’t done anything foolish like toss it out during his strip-his-room-of-stuff frenzy. 

He pulled out a small square maroon box. This was the present Blaine had given him this past Christmas. Kurt held the small box to his heart and closed his eyes, then brought it to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss. He slowly opened it and looked. Inside was the promise ring that Blaine made for Kurt out of gum wrappers, ensuring they were Juicy Fruit, Kurt’s favorite. It was topped with a tiny wrapper bowtie, one of Blaine’s favorite accessories. It represented the both of them, and Kurt could tell that Blaine spent a lot of time making it. Out of all of Kurt’s expensive clothing and accessories, this one was the most precious to him. The only expense was for the packages of gum. “Just the simple things are the best,” Kurt thought forlornly.

“No, Kurt! No pity party for you tonight,” he admonished himself and closed the box shut with a snap. Instead of putting it back in the drawer, however, he decided to take it over to the bed with him. He sat on his bed with a heavy sigh and opened the box again. So tiny and delicate, something he could not believe was made with a man’s hands. But there it was, sitting in the box, almost mocking him. Kurt wondered if it hadn’t been in the drawer and sitting out with his other McKinley stuff, would he have destroyed it? No! Kurt knew he wouldn’t have. Maybe it would have calmed him down. There was no sense dwelling on what might have been. Just holding the box made Kurt feel better. However, he was just fooling himself if just having the ring was going to brush aside his sorrow. 

“I hope Rachel comes back soon,” Kurt said to himself anxiously. She would distract him and make sure he didn’t beat himself up. He was getting hungry, too, but didn’t want to start pigging out without her. He looked over to his table and saw the picture of Blaine and Kurt from the Senior Prom. Not the best idea to keep it out even if it was quite silly. Blaine’s goofy streak came out in full force during their wild ride on the coin-operated dinosaur kiddie ride. It wasn’t a romantic picture like last year. It was pure fun and for some reason, Kurt loved it even more. Was it wise to keep it out to remind him of his failure to keep the best romantic relationship he ever had?…well the only one, but the best one as well, not including Brittany. He wouldn’t call her romantic, though. He would call it ‘experimenting.’ Well, not really. Honestly, the whole Brittany thing was more to please everyone else, especially his dad, than Kurt. So maybe he should call it what it was: another stupid attempt to be like everyone else. 

Kurt grabbed the frame and was about to toss the picture in his table drawer when something stopped him. He didn’t want to forget Blaine, not ever. He wanted to remember the good times they had. It was a good way to make him feel better about this whole stupid situation. He started to feel another wave of sadness and hugged the picture to his chest. It was a strange how the sorrow ebbed and flowed, like waves on the ocean. One minute he was fine, the next he was almost crippled with despair. The only way to work through his feelings was to sing about it. He held the picture in one hand and the ring in the other as he sang:

“Guess mine is not the first heart broken.
My eyes are not the first to cry.

I'm not the first to know, there's just no gettin' over you .
I know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you.
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else for me to do.
 I'm hopelessly devoted to you.”

 

Kurt knew he was being melodramatic, but there was no one around, so who would it hurt? You could take the man out of the drama queen, but you couldn’t take the drama queen out of the man, after all. Or something like that. He continued singing dramatically as he looked at the photo. It was all very ‘50s teen movie.

“But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside.
I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you.
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you.”

He pulled out his laptop and decided to send Blaine a Facebook message. Luckily, Blaine hadn’t defriended him or blocked him yet, or even changed his relationship status. Well that was a good sign. Usually a change in relationship status on Facebook was the first clue in a relationship gone wrong.  So maybe Kurt had a chance after all. Either that, or Blaine hadn’t thought of it yet. As he sent a small message he sang to himself:

My head is saying, "Fool, forget him!"
My heart is saying, "Don't let go!"
Hold on to the end. That’s what I intend to do.
I'm hopelessly devoted to you.”

Again, after a fierce internal struggle, he ended his message by telling Blaine how much he missed and loved him and closed the laptop, stood up, and walked to the window to look out onto the street below. He was half expecting to see Blaine standing down there, ready to serenade him. No such luck. It was just a dumb fantasy. He still had the ring in his hand so he put it back in the box and placed it on his dresser while finishing the song:

“But now there's nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside.

I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you.
Hopelessly devoted to you. Hopelessly devoted to you.”

As he finished, he put his hand on the window and let one tear roll down his cheek. He would cry himself to sleep later. At least he could cuddle with Rachel for comfort, but it wasn’t the same. After all, she was just a girl.

“Hey, Hummel, stop being such a damn drama queen and come outside!” called a voice from the door. Kurt jumped about half a foot with a very bad curse word, the very same one he yelled out the window earlier in the day, and spun around. This was turning into a day of foul language. Puck stood at the door with a smarmy grin on his face.

“Goddammit, Noah, give me some warning next time!” snapped Kurt as he tried to calm down his heart. Kurt realized he had to start being more aware of his surroundings. He was getting startled way too much lately. Not a safe thing for a gay man to do, to become too relaxed in one’s setting. That’s how one got beat up or worse. But Puck wouldn’t know Kurt’s fears, he was laughing too hard at Kurt’s reaction and when Sam and Finn appeared behind him, they laughed right along with Puck. Kurt wasn’t pleased to be caught the fool by all three guys, and he sought out the right words to tell them off.

“Hummel, you have got to be one of the most skittish people I have ever met,” said Puck moving over to Kurt. “Get on your shoes, we’re going outside.”

“Well, forgive me if I was in the middle of an emotional moment, dumbass!” barked Kurt, still a bit pissed at the interruption. It was mostly nerves though, and he begrudgingly appreciated the company. “Besides, I’m waiting for Rachel to come back. She had to go home for a bit.”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, dude, but Rachel’s not coming back tonight. She needs to stay home,” informed Finn. “She just called me to let me know. She said she loves you and will talk to you first thing in the morning.” He gave a smirk and added, “I just want to remind you, little bro, that she’s my fiancée so I am not totally pleased with her loving you. But I guess nothing will happen, so it’s cool I guess. Although I wonder after that Facebook picture.”

Kurt shot Finn an extra dirty look along with a middle finger at that last remark. “Oh, wonderful!” he said and put his arms up in frustration. “Way to abandon me, Berry!”

“She didn’t abandon you, that’s what we’re here for,” said Puck and put his arm around Kurt’s shoulder gregariously. “She filled Hudson in on the situation, and he in turn informed us. Tough break, dude. Want me to go kick the shit out of Blaine?”

“Don’t you dare, Puck!” Kurt exclaimed and shoved Puck away. “I should be the one getting the shit kicked out of. If you’ll excuse me, I need to call Rachel and tell her off.”

Puck stepped away and said, “Fine, go ahead. But you aren’t getting away from coming outside. We can wait.” He crossed his arms and grinned. Finn and Sam stood at the door, blocking the way.

Kurt shot Puck another dirty look, but the mohawked man wasn’t fazed a bit. Puck was used to receiving that look and it bounced off him like he was wearing some sort of emotional armor. Kurt secretly envied Puck for his ability not to let anything faze him as Kurt wore every hurt on his sleeve as if they were badges of honor. Kurt pulled out his phone and was about to send a scathing text to Rachel about her abandonment at his time of need, when his phone vibrated. It was from the very person he was going to tell off. “Speak of the devil!” he mumbled, annoyed at the world.

Kurt, I’m sooo sorry. I need to stay home but there’s a good reason. Blaine is here. Stay tuned. Love you.

Kurt looked up from the phone, shocked. What was Blaine doing at the Berry’s? He felt a fleeting sense of relief that Blaine didn’t go home. A few seconds later, there was another message from Rachel.

Don’t worry. We aren’t fighting. He really misses you. Will call you later. Go have fun with the boys.

Kurt sent a quick thank you text and put the phone in his pocket. He was feeling slightly better at the news, but he really, really, really wanted to talk to Blaine. Maybe when Rachel called, Kurt would ask to talk to him. Yes, that is what he would do. Then Blaine would have to listen to him. Kurt would tell Rachel to put Blaine on and then…. Well he would apologize over and over until Blaine accepted it. Then he would ask Blaine to be his boyfriend again. Yes that was the plan, at least for now.

Kurt looked at the boys and with the best I’m-sorry-but-I-have-something-more-important-to-do voice, said, “Looks like Blaine is over with Rachel. I guess they’re talking, so if you gentlemen will excuse me, I think I’ll just listen to some music and wait for the call.”

“Don’t think so, Hummel,” said Puck. “Welcome to the first annual ‘No Directions Single Men’s Night!’ Since you are technically single right now, you aren’t exempt. Sorry!”

“What?” Kurt’s eyes grew bigger. “What about Finn then?” Kurt asked indignantly, pointing to his brother. “He has Rachel!”

“My singleness is honorary!” said Finn proudly as he pointed to himself.

“I’m sure Rachel will be thrilled to hear that,” Kurt retorted drily. “Thanks, but no thanks, guys,” he said, sitting on his bed. “I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I think I’d rather be alone.”

Puck sat down beside him and said, “Well, you do have a choice. Either you come outside with us and try to have a good time in our company, or we will carry you out, but not before giving you a swirlie and a wedgie.” He put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “At least I’m letting you choose. You have 30 seconds. Go!”

“You wouldn’t!” said Kurt, his eyes widening. “I thought we were past all that kind of stuff, Puckerman!”

“Okay, maybe no swirlie or wedgie, but we will carry you out. Remember, we can lift you. I used to do it daily at the dumpster, remember? I know you don’t look like a toddler anymore, but you aren’t that heavy,” Puck advised. At Kurt’s stubborn glare he stood up. “Fine. Boys, proceed,” he said and grabbed Kurt’s arms. Finn and Sam grabbed one leg each and they lifted him.

“OKAY, FINE!” Kurt yelled. He didn’t have the energy to fight them, so he decided to humor them for a bit, then come back inside. As they put him down, Kurt taunted, “Jeez, Puck, if you were this persistent in your studies, you wouldn’t have almost failed.”

“Bite me, Hummel!” Puck said and grinned.

“Are you sure about that?” asked Kurt and raised his eyebrow. “Cause I’d be happy to oblige!” Kurt was amazed that he was able to flirt with Puck and not get his ass kicked for his efforts. He was also surprised how forward he was being without any alcoholic help. Kurt was never known for his directness. Actually, it was nice to be able to banter with Puck on what felt like a level playing field. The conversation wasn’t anything to write home about, but there was that guy-style camaraderie Kurt sometimes secretly longed for. Blaine was so good at passing as one of the dudes. Kurt could only wish to do the same. 

Sam was looking at the exchange with amusement. When he first started attending McKinley, Puck and Kurt were pretty close to what you would call bitter enemies. They were definitely on either end of the social spectrum, never to meet in the middle. They only interacted because of New Directions. Now they talked like brothers, albeit really weird brothers. “Well, I’ll leave you two men to your flirting and meet you outside,” he teased.

Puck looked at Kurt and asked, “How about we give Sam the wedgie? You in?” He put out his hand for a high five and Kurt returned it with gusto.

“Let’s do it,” Kurt grinned good-naturedly. As sad as he felt, he loved feeling accepted in this little jock group. Kurt looked evilly at Sam and advised, “Based on personal experience, you better start running now, Evans. Puck always gave a ten second head start.”

Sam gave a look of fear and took off running down the stairs, taking them two or three steps at a time. Puck, Finn, and Kurt just laughed and followed at a leisurely pace. He felt his phone vibrate again. It was from Blaine. He gave a quiet gasp and opened the message.

Got your message. Miss you and love you too. Can we talk tomorrow night? I suck. I really, really suck.

Kurt held back tears of relief and sent a quick response:

It’s a date. Love you. You can suck only if you want to…sorry sweetie, you opened yourself to that one.

Yet again, Kurt was shocked at his impulsiveness. He was having too much fun to stop, though.

He thought better of it and quickly sent another text to Blaine:

I’m sorry. That was wrong of me. With Puck. He’s a very bad influence. Love you so much.

At the same time Blaine had texted back a quick reply.

You wish. Don’t tempt me.  ;)

Wow! That wasn’t the answer Kurt expected from Blaine. Kurt blushed and was clearly intrigued. Making up might be better than he thought. All of a sudden the room was hot, very hot. Hmm.

Looking up, Kurt realized Puck and Finn were staring intently at him. Since it looked like they might start asking embarrassing questions, Kurt asked, “So, what’s outside?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” said Puck with a mischievous grin. Kurt looked at him curiously. He knew that look. Puck was looking for trouble. They were doomed.

****************

In the meantime, Rachel and Blaine were about to start their uncomfortable palaver.

“So…” Rachel responded with her arms crossed.

Blaine started, “Rachel, I just want to say…”

“Blaine, I should kick your ass for what you said to me, and even worse, for what you did to Kurt,” Rachel interrupted sternly.

Blaine attempted to continue, “You are completely right, but…” 

“But I won’t,” Rachel finished. Blaine visibly relaxed as this wasn’t going to be a fight and Rachel wasn’t yelling at him. “I am, however, concerned, for both of you.”

“I know, I want to…” Blaine said, trying to apologize. He was interrupted again.

“I mean, I understand you’re upset and all, but Blaine, this is unacceptable…” Rachel started lecturing. Blaine grabbed her hands and she looked at him with surprise.

“Rachel, I really want to say something, but you keep interrupting me. Can I just say what I need to, then you can spend the rest of the evening yelling at me, okay?” he asked politely. Blaine knew Rachel probably wouldn’t yell at him but it allowed him to feel he had some control in the situation. 

“Sorry, Blaine. Please go ahead,” said Rachel, just as politely. She didn’t want to turn this into a fight. She just wanted to know why Blaine would break Kurt’s heart like that. And why he would say those hurtful things to her.

“We can talk about Kurt in a minute, but first I wanted to apologize to you. I’m so sorry I said what I did back at the school. I let some emotions get the better of me. One little thought and some resentment ballooned into something so big, I couldn’t control it. I guess you saw my dark side,” Blaine said with a small smile.

“Resentment? But why? What did I do to you?” Rachel asked, confused. She tried to think back to the last year, wondering what she might have done to hurt him.

“You really didn’t do anything, Rach,” Blaine said, still holding her hands. “Okay, this is going to sound really ridiculous, but hear me out. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course,” Rachel responded gently. The anger she had at her friend was starting to fade away at his sincere look.

“Well, I guess I should say I was jealous of you. I AM jealous of you,” Blaine explained, embarrassed that he even said it. “You and Kurt seem to have this unbreakable bond that he and I don’t have, at least not yet. Look at that fight you just had! That would have broken any other friendship.” He started stroking her hand, more to calm himself, and continued, “I was starting to feel like you were taking over my place in his life. Then when he announced he might be moving to New York with you, it just intensified my jealousy. I’ve been trying to cover it up, but with all the Kurt drama, it sort of came to a head today.”

“Um…wow,” Rachel said and tried to pull away her hands. She wasn’t sure what to think. “So, you don’t like me? Did I do anything wrong?” she said with a small voice as she looked at her hands.

Blaine reached for her hands again and exclaimed, “No, Rachel, you know I adore you! This is all me. I should have talked to you when I was starting to experience those ugly emotions. I was feeling left out, and I just did the exact thing I told Kurt not to do. I suppressed the feelings and let the stress take care of the rest. I just spent the last hour talking to your dads. They really helped me talk through my issues.”

Rachel looked up and smiled as she asked, “Did they make you hot cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate shavings?”

“They even used the quilt,” Blaine responded cheekily.

“They only use that for the biggest of crises!” Rachel laughed. “My turn to talk now?” Blaine nodded and she continued, “Blaine, I want to make a promise to you. No matter what happens this fall, you need to know that I will never replace you in Kurt’s heart. He’s my best friend, and that’s all it’s ever going to be. He feels more like a brother to me than a boyfriend. You know I’m joking when I say I’m his boyfriend, right?”

“I do, but I don’t think I was thinking straight this afternoon,” Blaine replied, still ashamed at his behavior. “I’m struggling with some stuff right now, and it just made me freak out. So, will you forgive me?”

Rachel didn’t respond, but she opened her arms. Blaine gave a small sob and wrapped his arms around his small friend. “Blaine, please talk to me next time you’re feeling this way. You had me all over the place. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, and I was worrying about Kurt. This has been a terrible week!”

“You don’t understand how much better that makes me feel. You and Finn are my two best friends, and I couldn’t bear losing you like I might lose Kurt,” said Blaine, wiping his eyes.

“You aren’t losing Kurt, silly. He misses you as much as I bet you miss him,” said Rachel, giving Blaine a tight hug. Then she grabbed the quilt and put it over both of them. Blaine put his arm around her shoulder and she snuggled in, not unlike the way she snuggled with Kurt after their fight. “Oh, no! Kurt!” she exclaimed. “I promised him I’d go back, and I completely forgot. He’s going to kill me! I better call Finn and get him to check on him. I think I’d rather stay with you for now. Finn can spend time with Kurt. You and I need to talk some stuff out.”

 “No, that’s fine. Kurt needs you,” said Blaine. “I’m staying here tonight, so don’t worry about me.”

“Let me talk to Finn first, then we can figure something out,” Rachel responded and pulled out her phone. She made a quick phone call and returned her attention to Blaine. “They were out, but they’re heading home now. They will distract Kurt for the evening. It’s just you and me tonight.”

“And your two devastatingly handsome fathers, and Breadstix!” exclaimed Hiram, entering the room with some cans of soda. “I made sure to order you some vegetarian lasagna, Rachel.” He looked at Blaine and Rachel with a smile on his face. “You guys okay now?”

“We can continue our talk after dinner,” Blaine said to Rachel quietly. Rachel nodded, pulled away from Blaine and stood up.

“Thanks, Papa! It has been a very trying several days,” Rachel said and hugged her father. “Blaine and I are okay. Now we need to make Blaine and Kurt okay.” 

The doorbell rang signaling the arrival of the Italian food, so Rachel went to the door to help Hiram carry it to the kitchen. While they were out of the room, Blaine sent Kurt a quick text asking to talk the next evening. He wanted to talk right away, but he needed to finish talking with Rachel, and he promised his mother he would do several errands for her the next day. Kurt sent back a message almost seconds later with a lewd joke and an agreement for the meeting for the following evening. Struck with a mischievous inspiration, he sent a lewd message of his own. It was so not him, but if Kurt could change, maybe Blaine could, too. He was in between laughing and crying when Rachel entered with several plastic bags.

“Dinner time!” she said with a huge grin. She looked over to Blaine, and noticing his tears, asked, “Blaine, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing wrong. I just texted Kurt and he sent back something silly. I’m just glad he’s talking to me,” Blaine answered.

“I knew he would,” she said happily. “Come on, let’s stuff ourselves with way too many carbs and cheese. Of course it’s tofu cheese for me. I’m so glad Breadstix is conscious of us vegans. Not many restaurants in Lima are. Did you know that in New York, there are no fewer than 500 vegan-only restaurants?” At Blaine’s exasperated look, she said, “I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Sorry, no more New York talk.”

The Berrys and Blaine enjoyed a very pleasant dinner and even a little bit of after dinner singing entertainment. This was what Blaine really needed. It was a great way to decompress and spend time with people who he loved. Singing was always a good thing, too. Singing was his joy, his escape from the misery that was his life at times. After offering to help clean up, the two teenagers were shooed out of the room. 

“Let’s get our jammies on!” Rachel exclaimed and pulled Blaine up the stairs to her room. 

“Rach, I don’t have any pajamas. I kinda left without any clothes, remember? I can wear my clothes, I don’t mind,” he said. He spent many an evening passed out in his uniform or street clothes after an all-nighter studying or other less than honorable things with the Warblers, so he was used to it.

“Are you wearing boxers?” Rachel asked directly and matter of fact. She felt that best friends kept nothing from each other, and Blaine now fit that role.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes,” teased Blaine.

“Then I’ll just borrow a workout shirt of Daddy’s, and you can sleep in that. He won’t mind. You can borrow one of my robes if you’re feeling particularly modest,” she said, oblivious to Blaine’s blushing.

“Thanks?” Blaine responded, not sure whether to be grateful or disturbed. He knew Rachel’s nightwear. It was frilly and almost always some shade of pink or purple. He would not allow any phones or a camera in the room if he borrowed anything of Rachel’s to avoid a repeat of the debacle of that morning. They were both slight and on the short side, so her stuff would fit him.

They changed and Rachel gave Blaine the simplest robe she had, which was silk and lilac in color. At least it didn’t have any frills. “Kurt can never know about this,” Blaine warned. “I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Oh, get over it, Blaine!” Rachel exclaimed. “Besides, you should see the stuff I got Kurt to wear!” At Blaine’s look of surprise, she said, “Kidding! Or am I? You’ll never know.” 

Blaine was amused at Rachel’s newfound twisted streak. Maybe she could help him win the prank war with Kurt. He giggled at Rachel’s weird attempt at humor and said, “Rach, we should make a point to do this more often. Just you and me. It might be a good way to bond and get to know each other better. We can gossip about our men. He’s still my man, right?”

“What a great idea!” Rachel squealed and made Blaine jump. “Let’s make a point to spend at least one day every couple of weeks together, and when you come visit in New York, we must go shopping! Then Kurt and Finn can play those silly video games. And yes, he is your man always, Blaine.”

“I can’t believe Kurt is actually good at those games!” Blaine said with wonder. “My man is a man of many hidden talents. I can see it now, one day he’ll suddenly announce he can yodel or play the bagpipes, to my aggravation. I HATE bagpipes, which is funny because Anderson is a Scottish name.”

“I personally think they are a giant waste of time, but everyone needs hobbies. Video games are a waste of time, I mean, not bagpipes.” Rachel shrugged. “So you aren’t breaking up with Kurt?”

“That’s really not my decision to make, is it?” Blaine asked. “I mean, I want him back but does he want me?”

“Don’t be stupid,” said Rachel and smacked Blaine on the arm playfully. She sat on her four-poster bed and tapped the mattress. “Okay, so let’s finish our talk,” she said sternly.

“I’m about to get a Rachel Berry tongue-lashing, aren’t I?” Blaine said half-jokingly as he sat on the bed crosslegged. He used the robe to cover his upper legs. He knew he didn’t have to be so modest, but he didn’t want to show off any of his scars. Rachel didn’t need to know about his big secret.

“Blainers, I just want to know why you freaked out like that. You always seem so put together. You are the glee club therapist, you know,” Rachel informed.

“This is becoming a pattern,” Blaine laughed. “You’re the third person in as many days who has told me that. I think the universe is trying to tell me something. To be totally honest, I’m scared.”

“Scared? But why?” asked Rachel. She grabbed Blaine’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Her friend looked really nervous and jittery all of a sudden.

“Well, of course you know that I transferred to McKinley for Kurt, right?” Blaine inquired. Rachel nodded and he continued, “My reason for transferring is leaving, or might be leaving. I love New Directions, so I don’t plan on going back to Dalton, but it depends on what my parents say. I’m not sure if I even want to go back to the Warblers. I get more freedom to express myself at McKinley. Second, my best friends are all gone now, so I’m kind of stuck at school alone no matter where I go. Did I ever tell you I was supposed to graduate this year?”

“Really?” Rachel asked.

“Yup,” Blaine responded. “Kurt told you what happened to me at the Sadie Hawkins dance a few years ago, right?” Rachel nodded. “Well, I was in the hospital for a long time and missed too much school, so they had to keep me back a year. Didn’t you ever wonder why I’m almost the same age as you guys but a school year behind?” 

“I never really thought of it,” Rachel said. “Is that the only thing you’re scared of? You know that the rest of New Directions really need you and they all like you a lot! Between you and me, you’re our only chance at Nationals this year, so you better not leave!” Rachel spoke of the glee club like she was still a member. After all, once a New Directions member, always a New Directions member.

Blaine briefly debated telling Rachel about his family, but decided against it. It wasn’t the right time yet. Maybe he would tell her when he got to know her better, after a year of being roommates in New York, if that’s where life led them. “I can’t really get into it, but there’s some bad shit going down at home. Kurt was sort of an escape from it. When he’s gone, I have no one to go to.”

“Oh, no! Blaine, are you alright?” Rachel inquired, putting her hand to her mouth with worry. “Does Kurt know?”

“I’ll be fine, Rachel. I promise I’ll tell you everything someday. And, yes, Kurt is aware. I actually just told him today. So it came as a shock to me when he told me about that internship. I thought I had him here for another year, then he announced that. I felt like he was abandoning me at my most vulnerable,” he said and started fiddling with his hands nervously.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Kurt wants to go to New York anymore. At least until you graduate,” Rachel informed Blaine. “I think he realized his home really is with you. He read the note you put in his new yearbook, you know.” Rachel reached over and patted Blaine on his hand. 

“I was wondering when he would find that!” Blaine exclaimed and changed the subject. “But that internship is such a good opportunity! And it’s that reality show company. That is so cool! He has to at least try!”

Blaine took a moment because he was feeling terrible about wanting Kurt to stay. “My issues shouldn’t keep him here. Kurt would want the same for me, if a great opportunity came my way. I guess if I could deal with my problems before I met Kurt, I can deal with them when he’s away. We had everything figured out before, we can do it again.”

“How about you talk to him about it when you see him tomorrow?” Rachel asked and ruffled Blaine’s hair. Blaine gave a big grin and messed Rachel’s normally perfectly straight hair. “Okay, enough talk. We’re best friends again so how about some stupid TV time. That’s what I was going to do with Kurt tonight. Sadly the only junk food I have is organic and tofu. A fun night that does not make.”

“Late night supermarket raid?” Blaine asked as he got up and put on his jeans. “My treat. We can stop at the video store and get a couple movies too.”

“Oooh! A late evening Lima adventure! Good practice for middle of the night food runs in New York!” Rachel exclaimed. She looked at her pajamas, which were basically pink yoga pants and a Hello Kitty t-shirt. “This is good enough. Let’s go!”

Blaine put his arm through Rachel’s and asked, “Ready to go, Miss Shortcake?”

“Miss Shortcake? What drugs are you on, Blaine?

”

“You know, Strawberry Shortcake!” Blaine snorted and started walking away.

“Who told you about Strawberry? I told them NOT to tell anyone!” Rachel screeched. She stomped out of her room, yelling, “Daddy! Papa! Which one of you told Blainers about Strawberry!”

Blaine shook his head and followed the small brunette. This was turning out to be a pretty good night. The only thing that would make it better would be if Kurt were in his arm and Blaine were kissing him so much his lips were numb.

********************

Song is Hopelessly Devoted by Olivia Newton John from the theatrical release of the musical Grease. I always wanted Kurt to sing this song. Maybe Ryan will read this if the situation ever arises, although I’m not sure how…..HINT, HINT GOOD SIR!!!!! Next chapter: Fear and Loathing in Lima. Seriously, it’s messed up.