Cruel Summer Chapter 7 - Used to Be

Word Count: 5,196/189,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: You guys are incredible! Today I am going to take my A/N space to address some questions from readers, so I apologize for the length. One reader asked if we are going to revisit the Will/Emma exchange from chapter 1. Remember, this entire story thus far is only about 2 days. We will be doing a slight time jump once this arc is over. Just so you know, it is being addressed in chapter 12 (the chapter I just finished).

Another reader made a comment about Kurt dumping lemonade on Artie’s head being OOC. I just wanted to assure you that we were aware that it might have been seen as OOC, but remember that Kurt is acting very erratic right now, so he is very unpredictable. No worries, we will get our Kurt back soon enough. Well, sort of. I don’t think he will ever be the same, at least in our world. And he does make it up to Blaine, although that might not be for a bit. We mostly wrote that scene for comedy, and to feature Brittany.

Tis time for disclaimers! Yippee!!! Neither KurtsieKalanai  nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would have guest star spots on the show! I (Kurtsie) want to be Kurt’s Aunt (Sorry Hathaway! You snooze, you lose!) and Aligned wants to take over for Mrs. Hagberg. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. We try to stick to canon the best we can, however. Characters may be OOC, but there are reasons why, as you will soon see. We will also be introducing more Original Characters, as well as maybe starting to introduce existing new characters…Jake Puckerman maybe?

Thanks: Of course Wayne Kotke and Gleekast, for always being there. We also want to give a few shoutouts to some of our most supportive readers. First is Kestra. She gave us an incredible review! I hope we continue entertaining you. Our aim was to keep the spirit of the show, I am glad we are succeeding. The other two come from the Glee Forums. Rachel Hudson and Kurtsie46 have been a couple of our biggest supporters! This story is for you guys! Also, everyone else who reads, thank you so much! If you would like a shout out, let us know!

And finally, you know it’s coming. We would love feedback! I have a cold so I don’t have a clever feedback plea this chapter so yeah…feedback please!

**********

Blaine made a stop at the pharmacy for some bandages and antibiotic ointment and had Kurt wait in the car. His hands weren’t bleeding profusely or anything, but they did have dirt in them and would need to be cleaned up as soon as possible. He grabbed some alcohol, cotton balls, a bottle of water and a pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit for good measure.

Blaine returned to the car to see Kurt with his head back against the seat and his eyes closed. He had stopped crying hard, but tears still seeped from his closed eyes. Blaine’s heart sank. “Why won’t this get any better?” he asked himself. “Why can’t I fix this?” Blaine got in the car and gently touched Kurt’s arm so he wouldn’t startle him.

Kurt hadn’t said a word on the drive over, but he looked at Blaine with a sad look on his face. “Hi,” he whispered.

“Look. Juicy Fruit!” Blaine said as he gave Kurt a big grin. “Chew a piece while I clean up your hands.”

Blaine handed Kurt the pack. Kurt offered Blaine a small smile back. Kurt opened the pack and popped a piece of gum in his mouth. “My favorite. Thanks, Blaine,” Kurt said sincerely.  

“Well that’s a start,” Blaine thought to himself.

“You’re welcome. Come on, there’s a bench outside of the pharmacy. We can fix you up there,” said Blaine as he grabbed the bag and got out of the car again. Kurt tried opening the door but Blaine beat him to it. Kurt was very uneasy on his feet due to the emotional exhaustion, so Blaine guided him to the bench. After they sat down, Blaine opened the ointment and got the bandages prepared. He opened the rubbing alcohol and the bottle of water. After rinsing off Kurt’s hands with the water, he tried to pour the alcohol over the scraped knuckles.

“Son of a BITCH!” hissed Kurt, flinching his hand back.

“Sorry, Kurt. It needs to be done,” apologized Blaine. It really did look like it hurt.

“S’ok,” mumbled Kurt painfully. He watched the traffic going by to avoid looking at his mangled knuckles. “Can you get me another piece of gum? It really helps with the pain.”

“What? You plan on chewing the whole pack at one time? Really, Kurt, this is not like you. Usually you share!” Blaine admonished him while grabbing the pack out of Kurt’s shirt pocket and giving Kurt a quick tickle down his side.

Kurt giggled and twisted his body away from Blaine’s hand. Blaine knew all of Kurt’s ticklish spots and could be merciless. “What? No. You can have ONE piece. Besides it eases the pain. I’m chewing for medicinal purpose!” Kurt insisted.  

Blaine was pleased a little playfulness had crept back into Kurt. He kept working on rendering first aid and asked, “So I trust things didn’t go very well?”

“No!” Kurt exclaimed. His happy expression then turned somber. “The bitch threw a shoe at my head! Got me good too,” he said as he attempted to rub the back of his head with the free hand. “Feel here.” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand and had him feel the growing goose egg of a lump.

“What!?” Blaine said, head snapping up to look at Kurt with surprise. “Did you just say she threw a shoe? At your head? Was it a Croc?” Blaine added with a snicker. He couldn’t help himself. This was too funny.

“I wish it was! That deceptively comfy but ugly shoe wouldn’t have hurt so much! I had just given her the finger, and she threw a shoe at my head. That woman has good aim!” he said nonchalantly.

“The finger? Oh, Kurt,” said Blaine shaking his head not even trying to hold back the laughter anymore.

“Well, she deserved it,” informed Kurt like it was a matter of fact. “Needless to say, I never want to see or talk to her ugly face again.”

“Okay, Kurt, now that’s just not nice,” admonished Blaine, but Kurt just shrugged in response.

Blaine finished putting on the ointment and was in the process of wrapping his boyfriend’s hands in bandages. “I’ve got an idea. After we finish with this, we can go to The Lima Bean and I will get you a Mocha so filled with fat that we will have to roll you away.” As Kurt was about to protest, Blaine interrupted, “No arguments, mister! You will also be getting a chocolate chocolate chip muffin, and you will like it! Then we will take that to-go, and then I’m taking you to the lake in the park. You promised me a talk, remember?”

Kurt tried to give him a hard look but the sincerity in his boyfriend’s face stopped him. “That would be nice, Blaine,” he said simply.

After making sure the bandages were secured, Blaine leaned over and kissed Kurt’s button nose. Kurt tried to rub it away, but was unable to because of his bandaged hands. He looked at Blaine and scrunched his face.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you were adorable?” teased Blaine as he pulled Kurt up for a hug and a quick kiss.

*****

After grabbing their desired fat-filled beverages and desserts, the two men made their way to the central park in Lima. There was a beautiful willow tree beside the lake, and it would be the perfect place to snack and talk.

Blaine grabbed a blanket from the back seat and handed it to Kurt. “Can you hold this since I need my hands for the drink?” he asked. “I don’t think you’re in a good state to carry cups,” he quipped.

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine but took the blanket and dessert bag in his arms. He looked a little silly with the bandaged hands, a bit like a mummy. They walked from the parking lot to the tree by the lake. Blaine found an even piece of ground and put down the beverages. He then took the blanket from Kurt and spread it on the ground. He took the bag and helped Kurt sit down. After Kurt got settled, he picked up the drinks and had a seat himself. It was a bit of a juggling act, but no one got hurt, so that was a plus. Blaine ripped off a piece of the paper bag holding the muffins. He held it in front of Kurt’s mouth. “Spit!” he commanded and Kurt gave up his gum.

“I’m quite capable of getting rid of my own gum, Blaine!” Kurt returned.

“Sure you are. You’d swallow it if I didn’t keep an eye on you,” Blaine ribbed Kurt.

Kurt’s eyes went wide and he shook his head in disbelief. “You’re impossible sometimes. You know that, don’t you?” he countered back to Blaine. 

Kurt was able to hold his drink with a little effort, so he took it from Blaine with thanks. He took a small sip and let out a moan of pleasure. “Next time I ask for a low fat mocha, please give me a smack, Blaine.”

Blaine looked at his boyfriend with amusement. “Sounds like you don’t need me anymore. If you will excuse me,” he said as me pretended to get up.

“Freeze, you!” said Kurt, laughing. Blaine sighed in mock surrender and sat back on the blanket.

“So when you say I should give you a smack, do you mean with my hand or a shoe?” joked Blaine. That earned a side-long look from Kurt.

“Yuk it up, smartass. I’ll never hear the end of that, will I?” said Kurt, chuckling. Now that he thought of it, it was a pretty funny way to end such an epic fight, if not a painful one.

“Not for the next several years, no,” answered Blaine and snorted when Kurt gave him a whack in the arm with his bandaged hand.

“Ow! Why did you let me do that?” cried Kurt, cradling his injured hand. Blaine gently grabbed the offending hand and gave it a kiss.

“Better?” asked Blaine and kept hold of the hand. Kurt nodded. They stayed like that, looking at the boats on the lake, until they finished their drinks. As they finished, Blaine took the empty cups and took them over to the trashcan.

“Don’t go scavenging, Blaine!” Kurt teased.

Blaine shot Kurt a dirty look. “I stopped doing that weeks ago!” Blaine teased back. Returning to Kurt, he grabbed the muffin bag carefully as he didn’t want it to tear down the rest of the way and spill out the muffins.

Kurt snickered, “Should have let me swallow my gum.”

“Quiet, you!” Blaine laughed back. “Let’s move the blanket under that tree so we can lie down and enjoy this beautiful weather for a while longer.” Blaine wiggled his eyebrows romantically. “We have this part of the park to ourselves.”

Blaine laid the blanket under the large willow tree. The sun had since burned off any moisture on the ground from the storm, so it was very comfortable. Kurt joined him and put his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Blaine curled his arm protectively around Kurt’s waist.

“Mmmm, this is nice,” Kurt murmured. “I really needed this.”

“Me, too,” said Blaine, playing with Kurt’s spiky hair. “So, other than the projectile shoe, what happened with Rachel?” Kurt buried his head in Blaine’s chest and shook his head, trying to shake off the embarrassment. “It was getting pretty loud down there, Kurt. We almost went down to intervene. It was sounding as crazy as the video game upstairs was. By the way, did you know that you can blow yourself up?” asked Blaine.

Kurt looked up at Blaine as if he lost it and said, “What in the hell are you talking about, Anderson?”

“Never mind,” said Blaine, shaking his head and chuckling. “So what happened with Rachel?”

Kurt put his head back on his boyfriend’s chest and sighed, “There really isn’t much to tell. We “broke up” as she put it. I told her she was a selfish bitch and gave her several reasons why. She basically told me I was wishy-washy and gave me several reasons why. We yelled and she threw a shoe at my head. Oh yeah, and I gave her the finger. It was fitting.”

“Oh, Kurt,” Blaine repeated. This was not good at all. “Are you sure things can’t be fixed? Are you okay?”

Kurt sat back up and looked down at a supine Blaine.  “I’m not sure they can be. It was pretty bad, Blaine. I think this friendship is broken forever. I may not look like I care very much, but I admit my heart is broken.”

Blaine sat up and took Kurt in his arms. “Damn. I know what you’re doing Kurt. You’re pretending that nothing hurts. I did it myself years ago. It’s called putting up walls.”

Kurt laid back down and wrapped his arms around Blaine. “I know and it’s killing me! I don’t know what has happened to me lately. I always thought I was a pretty put-together guy. Then yesterday happened, and I became a human powder keg! Yeah, Rachel deserved what I told her, but not in the manner I said it! I was so mean, I even scared myself!” he pulled away and looked at Blaine with tears in his eyes. “Blaine, I’m scared,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’m scared about what I might become. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I seem to be hurting everyone around me. Please tell me what to do, Blaine?”

“There’s no real answer, babe,” explained Blaine as he used his thumb to gently wipe the tears from Kurt’s cheeks. “I think the best way is just talk it out. You need to be able to express your feelings. Keeping them in all the time is what caused you to blow. I can guarantee this has been building up for a long time. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Kurt nodded. “I just never thought it was fair to bother people with my problems,” he said, shrugging. “I figured I would deal with them myself, and I guess keeping them to myself meant that I was suppressing them. The glee club were there for me to a point, but they all had issues of their own to deal with. Look at Quinn. My issues are minuscule compared to her pregnancy.”

“Kurt, they are different but no smaller than anyone else’s,” Blaine said and took Kurt’s hands in his own. “Do you know what happens when you compress something, then pile more shit on top and compress that?”

“Not really,” responded Kurt.

“Think of gunpowder. The more you compress, the bigger the bang is supposed to be. The same can be said about feelings. If you try to push them down, eventually things are going to push back and be strained. Then you have so much stuff pressed in a teeny tiny space, it just takes one spark to blow things sky high! Do you know what that spark was?”

“The letter,” said Kurt, realizing what Blaine was getting at.

“The letter,” repeated Blaine. “That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back; that was the spark that caused everything to blow. That’s why you feel like you are out of control, Kurt. You are having a hard time dealing with these feelings. It’s perfectly normal considering the shit you have gone through over the past several years.”

“That makes sense, I guess,” Kurt said quietly.

“Of course it does,” Blaine assured him. “You deal with this atom bomb of emotion the only way you know how. You build massive walls to contain it. Nothing comes out and nothing goes in, and what is the best way of building those walls?” Blaine asked, moving into therapist mode. Several years of therapy were sure coming in handy right now.

“By pushing people away!” said Kurt, finally understanding. “But that doesn’t make sense either. I don’t push you away.”

“Do you trust me?” asked Blaine.

“Of course! I trust you implicitly! Why would you ask that?” exclaimed Kurt.

“Don’t misunderstand me, Kurt. I’m not questioning you. You don’t push me away because you trust that I won’t hurt you intentionally. You also trust that I have your best interests at heart, as you should.”

Kurt looked at his boyfriend, stunned. How did he find someone so smart? “Blaine, you are a genius! A regular Einstein,” he said, launching into his arms.

Blaine laughed, “Just several years of therapy, my love. Now I should warn you, this is not over. Identifying the issue will not make it go away. You were delivered a great blow of bad news. You’re going to revert from time to time.”

“How do you know?” asked Kurt.

“Because I was in the exact same place you are sitting now only three years ago after my bashing. I went through a wild child phase, and I did some really stupid things. I became very angry, and I built very similar walls. There was no sense dragging everyone down with me, right?” Blaine said, shrugging.

“Three years later, I still have my moments. Remember that fight I had with Sam when he first returned to glee club? It didn’t make sense, did it? We are the best of friends now, but back then I was dealing with some stuff and I put up the walls to protect myself.”

“But what were you dealing with, Blaine? You could have talked to me about it,” assured Kurt.

“And I will, someday, babe,” said Blaine and kissed Kurt’s cheek. “Now is not the time, but I promise I will tell you.

 “Thank you,” said Kurt simply.

“Why?” asked Blaine, puzzled.

“Just thank you,” answered Kurt. “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Not if I can help it, Kurt. But you need to talk to me, okay? I don’t want this happening again. Like I said earlier today, you are going to give me an ulcer! I’m here, always,” said Blaine and kissed Kurt softly. “We have time. Is there anything else bothering you?”

Kurt rubbed his face. “Oh boy, what ISN’T bothering me? Do you have a few weeks?”

“One thing at a time, hon. It’s all we can do. Baby steps, right?”

“The smart nuggets just keep coming!” Kurt laughed. “You really should become a therapist.”

“So what’s eating ya, Joe?” said Blaine in a silly voice.

“My boyfriend, the comedian,” quipped Kurt. “Well, I guess I’m feeling extremely lost because I had absolutely no backup to NYADA. I still blame Rachel for that one.”

“Kurt, do you really blame only Rachel?” said Blaine, looking at his boyfriend appraisingly.

Kurt sighed. “Nooo. It’s my own fault for not having a backup plan. But I do blame her for getting me swept up in her NYADA fever. I should have applied to backups, especially considering how selective they were supposed to be at NYADA.”

“We’ll figure this out,” said Blaine. “While you apply for schools for next year, you can take part time courses here at the college. There is always your job at the tire shop, right? Once I go back to school, your dad can always use someone in the office.” Burt offered Blaine a part time job in the office of the shop to get some real life experience to put on his resume. The job would continue on the weekends in the fall if Blaine wanted it.

 

“That’s hardly ideal,” said Kurt hesitantly.

“At the risk of sounding entirely cliché, we need to handle the cards we’ve been dealt, Kurt. Look on the bright side. You spend the year here with me and then we both go off to New York together. I promise, I will make your stay here very pleasant,” Blaine said, running his fingers on Kurt’s chest playfully.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Anderson? ‘Cause if you are, it’s working,” Kurt growled into Blaine’s ear.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not Mr. Hummel,” answered Blaine in a low, sexy voice.

Kurt pushed Blaine back onto the blanket. “You are impossible! Trying to get me all worked up like that,” he said as he put his head back on Blaine’s chest.

“To paraphrase our dear Santana, payback is a bitch,” said Blaine, encircling his arms around his boyfriend again. “Remember last night much?”

“Oh you liked it! Don’t you dare tell me you didn’t like sexy Kurt. Hell I liked sexy Kurt. I think sexy Kurt will be out a lot more,” teased Kurt.

“Hey, I plead the 5^th,” Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt on the forehead.

“I love you, Blaine Anderson,” said Kurt, looking up into Blaine’s eyes.

“I love you too, Kurt Hummel,” said Blaine, looking down into Kurt’s. “Let’s just enjoy some time being together. What say you?”

“I say that would be heaven,” said Kurt and replaced his head on Blaine’s chest and closed his eyes.

******

Kurt and Blaine weren’t the only couple dealing with big changes. 

Rory and Sugar were sitting on her front porch, sipping lemonade and staring a bleak future in the face. Rory wanted to go home, and he wasn’t happy. He missed his family in Ireland. Brittany’s family didn’t mind if he stayed and were even pushing for Rory to stay. But he didn’t want to. He wasn’t comfortable there anymore. He secretly wondered if they liked having him around to translate what was going on within Brittany’s strange and magical world. They were sometimes so clueless about her behavior. Sugar, on the other hand, wanted him to stay.  Things were going well with Sugar, after a rocky start, she had become a member for New Directions and was a part of a Nationals-winning Glee club. All she needed was the boyfriend and Rory served that purpose.

For Mike and Tina, the realization they were going to be separated by geographical barriers had finally sunk in. Tina had been appalled by her secret desire to trap Mike into staying by getting pregnant. She recognized she would need to stop watching Teen Mom. But for a brief second she flirted with the idea. Mike had no idea how much longer he and Tina would be together. She wasn’t the dancer he was, so the idea of her following him to the same college seemed a little unrealistic.

Sam and Mercedes were also struggling. Sam had inadvertently set Mercedes on a career of music by posting a video of her performing on YouTube. Mercedes had picked up a contract in LA as a back-up singer/studio singer and was leaving soon. It was a great job opportunity not to be missed. Sam was heading back to stay with his family for the summer but would be returning to McKinley in the fall. The Hudson-Hummel household welcomed him with open arms. The original plan had been for him to house-sit when the various family members were out of area on business or away at school. Of course most of that had changed, but Sam had been assured he was still welcome to stay regardless. 

Joe had secretly hoped something more would come out of his budding relationship with Quinn. She pretty much had stopped seeing him after she was able to walk again. Joe briefly thought she might be the one and was glad he hadn’t foolishly pursued her further. She was heading off to Yale without a second glance back. Joe intended to keep himself busy working several Vacation Bible Schools this summer as a youth assistant teacher. There were several pretty girls also volunteering so things were looking up, if the good Lord intended of course.

Brittany either didn’t get it or understand that Santana would not be with her at school next year. She had floated through the last few days in her normal state of slightly-out-of-touch-with-reality mode. It was finally dawning on Santana that while Brittany loved being with her, sharing her days and nights with her, Brittany was not in love with her. It hurt. It was making Santana’s decision to pursue college in Louisville easier. It was a good school, she would be doing what she loved, cheerleading, and there would be so many opportunities to explore other women with similar feeling as her own.

So much was changing with the New Direction kids. Their world was never going to be the same. No going back. The past was done and the future an empty canvas.

**********

Kurt and Blaine spent a couple hours at the side of the lake, just quietly enjoying each other’s company. As the sun started to set, they grabbed their blanket and bag and started walking slowly towards the car, hand in bandaged hand.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked.

“Hm?” answered Blaine. He looked over at his boyfriend.

“Do I have to go back...I mean do I have to go back to being that old Kurt? I’m not sure if I liked him very much. This new Kurt kind of scares me, though,” said Kurt, shuddering at the thought of the fight with Rachel a few hours ago.

“I’d be lying if I said things could go back to exactly the same as they were,” said Blaine knowingly. “I think you need to find a happy medium between the two.” He stopped and turned towards his boyfriend, putting his hands on Kurt’s shoulders. “All that I ask is that you don’t lose that sweet, kind, sexy Kurt that I fell in love with. Deal?”

“Deal,” said Kurt and continued walking.

It was Blaine’s turn to ask a question, “So Kurt?”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t hurt me for asking this, but do you still love Rachel?” Blaine asked, hoping Kurt wouldn’t get angry at him.

“Why would I hurt you? Do you want the truth?” Kurt asked. Blaine nodded.  Kurt continued, “Of course I do. She’s my best friend. Well she WAS my best friend. I miss her so much right now it is physically hurting my heart, but I think things are irreparably damaged.”

“Kurt, I’d be happy to mediate for you if you wanted to talk to her. I’d be there in case your emotions got the best of you. I know how crazy you are for each other. You have done so much together, and you can’t let this come between you forever,” said Blaine vehemently.

“I would in a second, but I’m still very angry at her for her selfishness. She needs to learn that she can’t walk over people in her climb to the top. She hurt me way more than I think you realize, Blaine,” said Kurt, shaking his head. “So I can’t, not right now.”

“Well, you let me know when you’re ready,” said Blaine as they got to the car.

“Why can’t we go back a week, when things were so much simpler?” said Kurt. “Growing up sucks!”

Blaine was about to do the gesture for “preach” but thought better of it. “From your mouth to the spaghetti monster’s ears, good sir,” he said instead.

They got in the car and Kurt gave him a look. “You are so weird,” he said and added, “Look, would you mind terribly if I went out to the backyard hammock alone for a little while when we get home? I really need to digest what you said.”

“Of course not, Kurt. Take all the time you need. I know this is a lot of shit to process. I’ll just watch the game with Finn,” said Blaine as he patted Kurt’s knee. Blaine felt his phone vibrate and discovered a text from Rory.

Can we get together this Sunday?

“Is it Rachel?” asked Kurt. He really hoped it wasn’t her.

“No, it’s Rory. He wants me to go to Church with him,” Blaine answered.

“Oh. Well, that’s fine. Just don’t expect me to go,” Kurt replied. Kurt had definite feelings about religion and church. He went with Mercedes that one time and their friendship changed afterwards. She pushed for him to come with her again, and Kurt simply couldn’t. It caused a rift that never truly repaired itself.

Blaine returned a text to Rory agreeing to meet him on Sunday. Blaine was well aware of Kurt’s feelings about religion, and they conflicted directly with his feelings. Blaine was wise enough not to bring them up right now. That was a talk for the future.

“No problem, Kurt. Rory doesn’t like to go alone. Besides, you like sleeping in!” Blaine said while poking Kurt in the side.

Blaine turned on the radio, hooked it up with his phone, set it to a playlist of their favorite songs, and hit shuffle. “There, that was easy,” Blaine thought. His big brother, Cooper had laughed at him suggesting, “Just turn on the radio and take your chances with it!” However, Blaine liked to have some control in his life, and his music choices was one of them. There wasn’t much else he could control.

Blaine glanced over at Kurt and received a smile of approval.  As they turned into Kurt’s neighborhood, one of their favorite songs came up so Kurt started to sing along:

“You used to talk to me like I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like the only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like we had nowhere we needed to go.
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.”

Once they reached the house, Kurt got out of the car and kissed Blaine. He then started walking down the driveway slowly and continued singing:

“We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.  We never thought. We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be?”

Rachel was out in the backyard. Finn had fallen asleep on the couch, and she needed to go out and do some thinking. The hammock in the backyard was always a pleasant place to think. The sun had completely set and the stars were coming out.  She could lie down and look at those stellar bodies for hours, dreaming of her future shining just as bright. Her stardom wasn’t on her mind, however; it was her ex-best friend.

She lay down on the hammock, looking into the sky and began to sing:

“I used to reach for you when, I got lost along the way.
I used to listen. You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you. Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.”

Rachel sat up, overcome with emotion. She had to talk to Kurt. They couldn’t leave things this way. In the meantime, Kurt was walking down the driveway. He heard Rachel’s clear beautiful voice singing:

“We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control. We never thought. We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be?”

Rachel turned towards the driveway to see Kurt standing there. Despite the new clothes and the black spiky hair, he had the same look on his face as it was before everything turned upside down. There was none of the tough-guy façade here. This was the Kurt she adored. As they both sang, they started walking slowly towards each other:

”I look around me, and I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you. It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.”

When they were within touching distance, Rachel reached her hand and sang:

“You used to talk to me like I was the only one around,
The only one around!!”

As they sang the last chorus together, Kurt was about to reach out his own hand and take Rachel’s but changed his mind at the last minute. As they concluded the song, he started walking backwards, staring at Rachel with tears streaming down his face. He shook his head and Rachel rushed forward.

When they finished, Rachel went to hug Kurt, overcome by the emotion of the song. Kurt put his hand up, stopping her. “Rachel, I can’t. I love you, but I can’t get hurt again. Maybe someday we will be friends again, but right now, I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He then turned and ran up the back stairs into the house.

Rachel was left standing there, not believing that he was gone. It was really, really over. She slowly walked back over to the hammock and lay down again, staring at the stars. Then she broke down crying like she never cried before. Her heart was well and truly broken.

**********

A/N Awww, it looks like things aren’t looking good for Hummelberry! The song is called Used To by Daughtry. I found it while looking through my iTunes for song ideas. I thought it was quite fitting to the situation. Again, thanks for reading and chapter 8 will be released soon!

Cruel Summer Chapter 6 - Hope You're Happy

Word Count: 6,518/189,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Here it is! The one chapter I think we had the most fun with, and the chapter that took FOREVER to edit. We wanted what happened in this chapter to be just perfect. We had to capture the character’s thoughts perfectly. I should also apologize that we reused a song from the show. However, we used it in context with the story. We are starting to see a theme with this story, and it involves a certain musical. :P Also just letting you know there will eventually be a time jump with stuff happening throughout the summer, or book one will be about 400 chapters, hehe. There is just a lot of story to tell in the first week.

Disclaimer time. Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would have them do Wicked as the musical of the year. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. We try to stick to canon the best we can, however. Characters may be OOC, but you can see where we are going with that.

Thanks: As usual Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Most of all, we want to thank all of you who have made writing this a pleasure. Remember give a man feedback, he reads for a day. Teach a man to write feedback, he reads for a lifetime. J Thanks ahead of time! Chapter 7 is later in the week!

*********

By the time Kurt and Blaine got back to Kurt’s house, the rain had pretty much stopped and the sun was starting to come out again. Blaine drove into the driveway and turned off the gas. He turned to Kurt and said, “Are you sure you want to do this right now?”

“No, not really. I don’t even know what to say to her. ‘Hey, Bitch, you stole my spot to NYADA?’ I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now, but I feel if I don’t get it out, I’m going to end up taking off again. I just can’t seem to deal with my emotions lately!” he said frantically.

Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Babe, sometimes the only thing you can do is get it out. It is very cathartic, you know.”
 
“Cathartic?” Kurt asked.

“You know like purging,” Blaine explained.

“Like throwing up?”

“Kurt, you know what I mean. As much as you’re mad at Rachel right now, you will both work this out. I can see how much she loves you and the thought of going to New York without you is probably killing her.”

“Yeah, well, she should have thought of that before stalking Madame Thibideaux,” he snapped at Blaine. At Blaine’s hurt look, Kurt said, “I’m sorry, Blaine. This isn’t your fault at all. I know I’ve said this about a bajillion times today, but I’m sorry. I have to deal with this and the wrath of my Dad later today. All I want to do is stay in bed and cuddle with that Ben & Jerry’s you promised me yesterday.”

“And we will, Kurt, as soon as you talk to Rachel,” said Blaine as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand reassuringly. “Look, I will take Finn and we’ll go up to his room to play video games so you can be alone, alright?”

Kurt gave Blaine a look of panic. “You aren’t going to stay with me?”

Blaine shook his head, “This is something you need to do on your own, Kurt. Besides, Rachel isn’t that crazy.”

“But what if I am?” Kurt said softly and started picking at his perfectly manicured nails. “I need to paint these black,” he thought to himself.

“You’re not crazy, Kurt.” Blaine’s comment brought Kurt out of his fog.

Kurt disagreed, “I can’t seem to control my emotions lately. Yeah, I’m pissed at her way more than I thought I’d ever be. I don’t want to hurt her physically, but look what I did to my room!”

Blaine gently grabbed Kurt by the arms, “Kurt, I know you. You would never hurt a living thing. If things feel like they’re going out of control, we will be upstairs. Finn knows that you need to work this out on your own. I have faith in you, babe.”

“I’m glad you do,” said Kurt as he got out of the car. “’Cause I don’t.” The streets were steaming from the sun hitting the wet pavement, and it was promising to be a hot summer day. Blaine walked around the car and grabbed Kurt’s hand.

They walked up the stairs to the front door and let themselves in. They would get their shopping bags later. After taking off their wet shoes in the foyer, they found themselves face to face with Rachel and Finn, who were waiting in the living room.

“Hey, little bro. Blaine,” said Finn, waving awkwardly.

“I’m three months older than you, Finn,” said Kurt, putting his hand on his hip. “Why must you insist on calling me little bro?”

“Well you are little, and you are my brother, and you called me Big Brother last night. So why not?” he shrugged.

Kurt rolled his eyes. Sometimes Finn could be so irritating!

Rachel looked at their soaked-to-the-skin forms. “We need to get you out of those wet clothes right away! Were you caught in the storm?” she asked with genuine concern.

“Something like that,” Kurt mumbled, looking at his wet socks.

“Well, let me get you some towels, and we will get you both cleaned up,” said Rachel as she rushed to the linen closet.

While Rachel was retrieving the towels to dry off, Finn said, “Mom just called. It looks like Burt is going to be stuck in DC for a few more days. Emergency meetings. She’s coming home though, but she doesn’t sound angry, just worried for you. She should be here late this evening.”

Kurt let out a sigh of relief and felt a small weight lift off of him. He knew his Dad was going to kick his ass, but at least now he had a little more time to figure himself out.

Rachel returned, gave Blaine a towel and was about to start drying Kurt off when he raised his hand to stop her. “Please, Rachel. I just need a few minutes.” He gently took the towel from her and went upstairs to his room, drying his hair on the way. Rachel was just left looking up the stairs, and started to cry.

Blaine had dried himself off the best he could, so he took Rachel in his arms. He felt so bad for her, but he could see Kurt’s side of things as well. They really needed to talk this out.

Finn just stood as if he wasn’t sure what to do. “Dude, she’s been like this all morning. And anything I say to her just makes her worse.”

“He doesn’t understand, Blaine,” she said as he stroked her hair. “He doesn’t understand that I have a broken heart. Why can’t Kurt understand that I did what I did for us!”

“A broken heart? But it’s only Kurt,” said Finn. That just started her crying harder. “See? I can’t say anything right!” he said, exasperated as he stomped off to the living room and turned on the TV.

Blaine gently pulled Rachel away and looked down at her. It was so sad to see this small girl in so much pain. Seems like everyone around him was hurting right now. “He’s willing to talk, Rach. You need to tell him exactly what you told me. He feels pretty betrayed.”

“But I told you I…” she said but was interrupted by Blaine.

“Tina accidentally told him about your trip to see Madame Thibideaux,” he said quietly. “You really should have told him, Rachel.”

“I didn’t see a need if we both got in!” cried Rachel. “Oh now I KNOW he hates me.”

Blaine looked up the stairs and saw that the door was still shut. “I’m going to see if he’s okay.” He then called into the living room to Finn, “Hey Finn, wanna go to your room to play some X-Box?”

“Sure!” said Finn happily. Now that was something he COULD do. Blaine was always a good opponent to play against. Well, win against. What Blaine lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm and never complained when Finn whipped his butt. Right now Finn needed to burn off some frustration. He loved Rachel for the world, but she was SO high maintenance! Did she realize he had a lot of things on his mind as well?

Blaine kissed Rachel on the forehead and said to Finn, “Cool. I’ll meet you up there in a few minutes. Kurt is coming back down to talk to Rachel.” Rachel let out a little whine. “It will be fine,” Blaine said to her comfortingly. “We’re right upstairs if you need us.”

Blaine made his way upstairs, knocked on Kurt’s bedroom door, and tried the knob. The door was unlocked so he let himself in. Kurt had changed into another jeans and t-shirt combo, and his hair was back in his now signature spikes. This time, however, he decided to forgo the makeup. He was sitting at the end of the bed holding the shattered frame of the New Directions photo. The glass had since been taken away, but the scratched picture remained in the frame.

Kurt looked up at Blaine with tears in his eyes, and he pointed to the frame.

“I need to get into some dry clothes, Kurt. I’ll be right with you, okay?” he said as he grabbed some dry clothes from the dresser. He changed his mind and grabbed one of Kurt’s new T-shirts. “Mind if I borrow this?” he asked and Kurt nodded.

After quickly changing into the t-shirt and jeans and hanging the wet clothes in the bathroom, Blaine sat down beside Kurt and put his arm around his upset boyfriend. He looked at what Kurt was pointing at. In the picture Kurt stood behind Rachel with his arms around her waist and his head on her shoulder. Blaine was on one side and Finn on the other. The entire group had huge smiles as Will held up the Nationals trophy. However, Kurt and Rachel’s faces were scratched out from the glass damage.

“Oh, Kurt,” he said as he took the picture frame from Kurt’s shaking hands and put it on the bed.

“It’s a sign. I can’t do this,” Kurt said in a voice as shaky as his hands.

Blaine understood his boyfriend’s reluctance. He saw Rachel when she got into a strop. He also understood that Kurt was very volatile right now, but he was getting frustrated by the circling the two were doing with each other.

Blaine stood up and faced Kurt. “Okay, I’m risking you hating me for all eternity, but I need to say this. You need to stop what you are doing.” After Kurt’s head snapped up and he gestured to his clothes, Blaine added. “No not what you are wearing. I don’t even care about this new image. Well, I do, but I don’t dislike it. You are finding yourself. I did the same thing when I first came out. I’m talking about you and Rachel. The entire family is feeling like we have to walk on eggshells for both of you! That includes the extended New Directions family.” He then realized that he said that he was part of the family and turned away, flustered. “I mean your family. Your family is walking on eggshells.”

Kurt got up, circled his arms around Blaine’s waist from behind, and rested his head on Blaine’s back. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry Blaine,” he apologized softly.

“There is only so much of this I can take, Kurt!” said Blaine. He was looking at a hole on the wall, on the verge of tears.

“I know. I’ll go down and talk to her now. Then you and I will talk, I promise.” Kurt slowly turned Blaine so he was facing him. A few tears were coming down Blaine’s face. “You’ve been so strong for me, and I haven’t even said thank you.”

“Watching you self-destruct like this is ripping my heart in two,” said Blaine, wiping at his eyes. “We need to fix this. I said I would fight with you, come what may, right?”

“Come what may,” Kurt said, kissing the tears on Blaine’s cheek. “By the way, very good use of that line from Moulin Rouge,” he said and gave a small smile.

“You are so gay,” laughed Blaine through his tears and hugged Kurt tightly.

“Hey, I’m not the one quoting Moulin Rouge!” said Kurt, pulling away. He looked Blaine in the eyes. “You are, you know.”

Blaine looked at him, confused. “Gay? Well I kinda knew that!”

“No, family. Everyone here is crazy about you. Dad and Carole are asking about you constantly. Even Finn thinks you’re awesome! You play sports and video games and I think that kinda gives him an identity crisis. He thought all that gay people do is decorate and sing show tunes.”

Blaine felt overwhelming love for everyone in the Hudson-Hummel family. He always prayed that he would find a real family like this one. What he had at his house was far from it. “Well, I do that, too, but I know what you mean,” said Blaine, playing with a spike in Kurt’s hair. He then pointed to his own hair. “I gotta get this mop fixed then go have some quality hetero time with Finn. If you need us, just yell.” He then put his hand behind Kurt’s head and pulled him in for a slow kiss.

“I love you, Blaine. I can’t believe the bullshit I put you through,” he murmured as they pulled away.

“I love you, too, Kurt. Now go, talk, love, learn, live,” Blaine said and playfully smacked Kurt on the ass.  Blaine grabbed his curl controller to fix his hair, before the rain turned him into Broccoli-Head, his superhero alter ego. They both left the room and Blaine turned to Finn’s bedroom while Kurt went downstairs with his showdown with Rachel.

*****

Rachel was having a terrible day. And she thought, “Terrible anytimes could produce frowns, which could produce frown lines, which I am far too young to have to worry about. I need everyone to understand this. My unlined appearance will be the key to my success. As a young ingénue, I realize my face is as important as my voice. I have a regime I must adhere to daily to keep myself looking fresh and young. Crying non-stop these last 24 hours could wipe out years of hard work.  Look at Barbra. She may not have been a classic beauty, but she was fresh and young looking for a very long time. While being on the stage means most of my audience would never see my face up close, my picture will be on the front cover of the Playbill, and I will sign autographs after every performance. And yes, even in the coldest weather, I will be out there for my public.” Rachel could see them standing in the snow, shivering with cold, icicles hanging from their noses just for her. Rachel wore sleeveless dresses in the middle of winter so she could build up her tolerance for standing outside in the cold and signing those autographs without shivering. And she had learned to smile without chattering her teeth so she would appear at her very best during those signings. “Yes, I have planned it out to the smallest detail and it is in my pink planner. All this crying is playing havoc with my lifelong plans and it needs to come to an end.”

Ever since she got that damned NYADA letter, it seemed her life was being turned upside down. Getting accepted was supposed to be one of the happiest, most joyous times of her whole life, with the exception of her upcoming wedding, but she was being denied, yes denied, the right to enjoy it. After great reflection, she realized both Kurt and Finn could go to New York with her. At first she was going to defer admission for a whole year to help them with their auditions, but she soon realized the foolishness of waiting.

After all she wasn’t going to get any younger and she needed to be at the top of her game if she wanted to succeed. In reality, Kurt’s future audition required very little work. Maybe his audition pants could be taken in just a smidgen more but not much else was necessary. Finn might need additional help but she was sure with the right motivation and hours of hard work, she could bring him up to standard. There was no reason to take a whole year off from attending NYADA. She could work with both of them after her school day was over.  There was plenty of time!

But first, Kurt was having some massive identity crisis, and he would need to snap out of it. She was going to have to help him regain control of his life. This was probably just some phase of teenage rebellion he felt he needed to go through. Rachel was sure with the right attitude, Kurt would return to normal soon.

Finn should see that Kurt’s darker attitude was temporary! There was a big argument after bringing Kurt home from that weird bar. Finn had yelled at her. “Leave Kurt alone,” he grumbled. Well, she needed Kurt, and she needed him to be her old Kurt. Finn didn’t understand all the stress she might be under right now! Yes, she gets to go to school and they didn’t, but there was always next year. And Finn didn’t get it; she needed both of them to be there for her. That was the plan. It was also in her pink planner book and that book allowed for no deviation!

Rachel sat on the couch and grabbed a tissue from the table beside her. She thought back to a discussion she’d had earlier today with Finn. Rachel had brought up NYADA and Finn had snapped at her.

“Rachel, all you ever talk about is that damn school! Your best friend, and my brother by the way, is having some major issues right now! For once, please think of someone other than yourself!” he had said vehemently.

“Finn, I...” said Rachel in a small voice.

Finn put up his hand to stop her. “No offense, but I really don’t want to hear about it right now. I got stuff I’m dealing with, too. Did you even think to ask me if I was okay? No! It’s NYADA this and NYADA that and New York. Always New York!  Rachel, please try to deal what is in front of you before leaving everyone to follow your dreams.” He said the word “dreams” with air quotes.

Rachel brought herself back to the present. The days after graduation weren’t supposed to happen like this! With a new resolve, she was determined to set things straight with Kurt and put everything back on the correct path to her luminary future! How dare Kurt mess with her predestined stardom! She was a winner and whatever it takes, she was going to do it.  She would win Kurt back and he was going to help her on her climb to the top. After all, that was what a best gay was for and Kurt was the man for the job.  “No more messing around, Kurt. I have plans for us!” Rachel thought with a single-mindedness reserved for only the most entitled of stars.

**********
Finn desperately needed down time from Rachel. He was getting so frustrated with her. She was pulling him one way, and he finally realized he needed to go another. Kurt wasn’t much better, insisting he find a college in New York. Even Puck had tried to push him into joining him in L.A. Finn had some ideas of his own for the future. He just needed to figure out how to get there without upsetting everyone else’s plans for him.

Finn looked in his room and saw Blaine sitting on the bed looking at the back cover of his Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III game. “Do you want to play this?” Blaine asked holding the game up.
Well, at least Blaine never asked anything out of him that he couldn’t handle.

“Sure, you can follow my lead.”

Finn set up the game and handed Blaine a controller. Finn started to explain the basics of the FPS.
“What is an FPS?” asked Blaine.

“First-person shooter game.”

 “Oh, okay, I got this,” Blaine said, but he really didn’t. He was more a Mario Kart or Madden NFL player.

“Dude, you just blew yourself up with your own grenade!”

Blaine looked at his controller and asked Finn, “Has this been calibrated lately?”

Finn smiled at him and shook his head in disbelief. “No,” Finn said and got up and turned off the game and turned to Blaine. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything.” Blaine automatically went into therapy mode. It always made him happy to help people.

“Do you think I could make it in the Army?”

“Are you thinking about going in the Army? I mean, yes, you could but, why?” Blaine was caught off guard. He thought this would be about New York and Rachel. Everything was always about New York and Rachel.

“With Rachel going to New York and all, I won’t have anything to do out there and since we will be married, I have to get health insurance for us and other stuff. I was thinking the Army would take care of all that. My dad was in the Army so it’s kinda… a family thing.”

Blaine nodded his head in agreement and asked, “Is it what you want?”

“Yeah, it is. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

Rachel would probably kill him for this but Blaine said, “Then it’s something you should do for yourself.”

Finn nodded. Getting up he went over to Blaine. “Here, dude, let me explain how the controller works with this game.”

********

Rachel heard Kurt coming down the stairs. She was so mad at him now. How dare he treat her like this!

She jumped up from the sofa and walked over to him. She got right up in his face and said passionately, “Why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle?”

Kurt’s eyes grew wide. No, this was not how he had planned to talk to her. Rachel started:

“I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!”

Two could play this game. Kurt circled around her:

“I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition.”

Frustrated, they both turned and walk away from each other with their hands in the air. Rachel wasn’t going to let Kurt get the better of her. No, sir! And Kurt wasn’t going to let Rachel have her way. Not this time! Both sang at each other:

“So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now.”

Kurt turned around to ignore Rachel. She walked back over to him. She had him! He couldn’t resist Wicked. She said, “Kurt, listen to me. We can get you to New York.”

Kurt turned around and stared at Rachel, curious. She continued:

“You can still be at NYADA
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted.”

Kurt began to feel all the past grievances with her resurface. Rachel had always tried to have the upper hand. He told her:

“I know. But I don't want it. No! I CAN'T want it
Anymore.”

His mind went back to one of his earliest confrontations with Rachel. He would show her. He could always do it. Always. He sang it in a much lower register than the last time and it seemed to disarm Rachel:

“Something has changed within me. Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!”

“It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!”

Rachel grabbed his arms and gently shook him while she said, “Kurt, listen to me!”

“Can't I make you understand you're having delusions of grandeur?”

Kurt jabbed his finger at Rachel and continued on:

“I'm through accepting limits ‘cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost!”

Kurt glared at Rachel, “Game on, bitch! You aren’t the only one who can turn your life into a song!”

Rachel stamped her foot at him in frustration. “No, No, NO! Don’t let him win!” she screamed silently to herself. “Think, Rachel, think! What would a great star do to win her co-star over on the stage? Cry, of course!”  

Rachel rushed over to him. “Kurt...” At the same time he said, “Rachel...”

“No, you go first,” said Rachel, playing the melodramatic ingénue, while clutching her tissue.

“Ladies first,” Kurt said quietly, trying hard not to make eye contact.

“I am so sorry,” Rachel said with a shake of her head, a single tear slowly rolling down her cheek.

“You are?” said Kurt, surprised.

“Yes of course! I’m sorry that you are not going to NYADA with me so we can realize our dream together!” she said seriously.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said slowly. He was trying so hard to keep his temper in check, but it was very challenging. He stepped back from Rachel and sat in the armchair. “Rachel, I need to say something and please do NOT interrupt me....please,” he said desperately.

Rachel nodded her assent as she sat back on the couch and Kurt took a deep breath and continued, “Did you or did you not call Madame Thibideaux several times and stalk her while she was auditioning prospective students?”

“Kurt, I did call her several times. I wouldn’t call it stalking. I had to keep trying. She wasn’t answering her phone and I didn’t know what her schedule was so I called several different times during the day hoping to reach her,” answered a confident Rachel. She could win him back with reason.

“Gawd, Rachel. Can’t you just answer the question? I don’t need a full account of your stalking,” interrupted Kurt calmly, at least on the outside. Inside he felt that scary rage starting to build.

“Well, what you might call stalking, I call taking initiative,” said Rachel haughtily. “I just felt like I had to take fate into my own hands.” Kurt just stared at her, so she continued. “Kurt, your audition was flawless, and then I messed up my signature song so badly! I was convinced you got in and I didn’t. I just figured if I could make Madame Thibideaux realize that I am just as big a star as you, we could both go!”

“Fine, I can accept that. So did you or did you not realize that in showing this so called initiative, you might have bumped me from the running since my audition was, as you say, flawless?” he said, waiting for Rachel’s response. What she said next would help him decide what to do.

“Well yes I did but I panicked! I couldn’t lose my dream before I had it in my grasp!” she said loudly.

Kurt slowly stood up. “That’s what I needed to know. Well, Miss Berry, I think this conversation is over. If you will excuse me, I ask that you stay away from me until you leave for New York. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.” He turned to walk away, an image of calm. Inside he wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hit something but he couldn’t hurt Rachel.

Rachel looked at him, shocked. She WAS losing her Kurt! As he walked out of the living room, she yelled angrily, “I can’t believe you are doing this to me, Kurt Hummel!”

That did it. Kurt spun around and walked up very close to Rachel. Very close but not touching. “What I am doing to YOU? Do you realize that everything you have done has destroyed my life! You are also destroying Finn’s life! Do the Hudson-Hummel family a favor and get the hell out of our lives!” he screamed.

Finn and Blaine must have heard because they both yelled from upstairs, “Are you guys alright?”

“We’re fine!” Rachel and Kurt yelled back.

He backed up because Rachel looked livid. “Good, she should be,” he thought to himself.

Rachel was this close to slapping the shit out of Kurt. How dare he? No one was going to come in between Rachel and her Finn. Not Quinn, Not Santana, and certainly NOT Kurt!

Kurt looked at her and was torn between leaving the room and staying around for round two. She looked rather scary right now.

Rachel stepped forward, raised her hand, and pointed a finger at Kurt’s nose. “This is between you and me. Leave Finn out of it!”

Kurt took a step back and attempted to collect his thoughts. “Finn is MY brother. I can include him if I want to.”

“You still have feelings for him!” Rachel declared.

Kurt turned bright red, “I do NOT! I am SO beyond that! Eew!! He’s my BROTHER! That’s disgusting, Rachel Berry!”

“I knew it! That’s why you want me to leave. You are jealous of me because he’s mine. Well Hummel, Finn is going to be my husband and there isn’t anything you can do about it. You’re not invited to the wedding anymore!” Rachel threw her hands on her hips and gave him her best evil eye.
Kurt was speechless. He needed to collect his thoughts. “Do not let Rachel get the upper hand here. This isn’t about Finn. This is about us. Get back on track,” he admonished himself.

“Okay, Rachel,” Kurt paused and looked at the ceiling as if the answer to what he was trying to say was printed up there. “You have done everything possible this year to make my life a failure. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take this one sided relationship. It seems like the only reason I am even in your world is to be your prop, your best gay. Unfortunately it has brought me nothing but heartache and pain. Rachel, I am sorry if this upsets you. That is not my intention. I just need to make you understand, we can’t be friends anymore.”

That took some of the fight out of her. “Kurt, you are breaking up with me?” said Rachel in a small voice.

Kurt rolled his eyes. He wanted to laugh at the absurd thing Rachel just said but he didn’t. He just let out a sigh. “Rachel, we aren’t dating. This is not a breakup. You were never my boyfriend. It’s just a parting of ways. I’m tired of you messing up my life.”

It was Rachel’s turn to look panicked. “What did I do? This is NOT happening! I looked out for you all year! How could you say that, Kurt?” she was genuinely confused.

Kurt was starting to get frustrated and angry so he started pacing again. He put on his tough guy voice and said, “Okay, let me break it down for you, Berry.”

“Kurt, this is not you. Please stop with this,” Rachel pleaded.

“This IS me now,” he said and pointed to himself, “and the sooner people accept it, the better off we will all be. As I was saying. First, the election. You pushed me into running. You came up with the idea.” When Rachel tried to interrupt, he talked over her, “Yes, you did. Don’t deny it!” Rachel was shaking her head no. That was not the way she remembered it.

“I would never have run for school president, but you built it up for me. I thought maybe I could do this.  But to make it worse, you decided to run against me. What kind of friend would do that to you? Then you messed with me again and dropped out. Then you stuffed the ballot boxes effectively disqualifying me from the race and letting Brittany win by default. May I also add that Brittany did shit the entire year in her tenure as president, bless her little unicorn heart! I could have won but now we will never know,” he said angrily and shrugged.

“I was only trying to help you!” Rachel yelled back. She wasn’t going to sit down and allow Kurt to bully her.

Kurt snorted. “Some help, Berry. You screwed me over one of many opportunities to beef up my resume. Next, let’s talk about my audition for West Side Story. I could take the directors laughing at me. I understand that my old image may make people uncomfortable. It was your laughing that just about killed me. You were supposed to be a professional. How could you do that to me?”

Rachel was really mad now. “Kurt, what the hell are you talking about!” She put her hand over her mouth, realizing she was stooping to cursing. “People screw up in auditions all the time. We could have just worked through it if you didn’t run away!”

“That is a load of bullshit and you know it, Berry. You laughed at me when I went to kiss you. A gay man can’t kiss a girl? You didn’t have a problem kissing Blaine,” he sneered.

“Blaine is different,” Rachel countered.

“Oh, I see. You still have feelings for him.” Turnabout was fair play, and Kurt was quite pleased with himself.

“I do NOT!” Rachel yelled.

“Is everything alright down there?” Finn and Blaine yelled down again.

“YES!” Rachel and Kurt yelled back up in unison.

“You think you can change Blaine from being gay to straight. The straight girl’s greatest fantasy. Well, it’s not going to happen, Berry!” Kurt said triumphantly. He got her back, good!

Rachel stood there with an irate look on her face, her hands at fists at her sides. “Are you quite finished, Hummel?” she said, playing Kurt’s game.

Kurt smiled bitterly. “Ah I see you’re playing with the big boys now, Rachel Berry. No, I’m afraid I have just begun. Now let’s talk about my audition for NYADA. Yes, we both admit that my audition was ‘exemplary’ as Carmen said, but I bet you wish that I screwed up just like you did!”

“Okay, now YOU are talking a load of bull...poop.” she said hesitantly, refusing to use crude language.

“Little Rachel Berry, can’t even swear? You are screwed in New York, darling,” Kurt said, spitting out the last word like it was poison.

“Then please tell me how I personally messed up your audition?” Rachel said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kurt mirrored Rachel and crossed his arms over his own chest. “Well, let’s see. I was going to do one of my old standbys. It would be impossible to mess up, right? I think we both saw that is not the case,” Kurt said, knowing that he hit a nerve. He chuckled meanly and continued, “I, of, course decided to take a little risk and do something that I was working on, but I wasn’t sure would work. You, little Miss Thing,” that got a gasp of anger from Rachel, “tried to psych me out. You tried to make me question my talents. You hoped that I would screw up so there was less competition for those 20 spots. Well it didn’t work. I kicked the shit out of that song and got great feedback.”

“Go on,” was all that Rachel could say.  She was finished with this. Kurt could go to hell as far as she was concerned.

“So I was confident that I placed quite well for NYADA until that damned letter came yesterday. I didn’t get in, yet you did. I will admit that I questioned my talent as you messed up and I didn’t. Then I come to find out what you did to get Carmen to see you. Tina was a real friend to tell me,” he said, knowing that would hurt Rachel the most.

Rachel was done talking. She just stared hard at Kurt until he talked again. “The absolute nerve of this man!” she thought.

Kurt held up his hands as if he was praising some invisible god. “So here we are at this moment. We are “breaking up” as you call it. So before we part, let me say this. You are one of the most spoiled, selfish, self-centered bitches I have ever had the displeasure to meet, and our lives will all be richer when you are gone. When you go to New York, I really hope you learn some hard lessons about life, ‘cause the gravy train will eventually stop. And with that, I bid you a screw you.”

He turned to leave, had to leave, because the rage was getting borderline uncontrollable.

“Yeah?” yelled Rachel after him, refusing to let Kurt have the last word in the matter. “Well you are a complete asshole! I don’t care if I have to swear. You are an ASSHOLE!” She screamed the last part.

As he walked away, he gave the middle finger. “Get used to it sweetheart, because I’m here to stay.”
Rachel reached down, grabbed her shoe, took aim, and WACK! The shoe hit Kurt solidly in the back of the head. What a satisfying sound that had made. Got him good! Damn that felt great. Rachel was back on top! She wanted to jump and cheer.

Kurt yelped. “Damn that hurt. What was that?” Kurt thought as he touched the back of his head. OUCH! He glanced down and around where he spotted Rachel’s left shoe. So that’s what that was. And then it registered with him. “Rachel threw her shoe at me!” Kurt started to turn around to give her what for but he couldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing him tear up. Kurt let out a small scream of frustration, went to the front door and slammed it open. He left the house and went down to the driveway near Blaine’s car. He was shaking with rage.  He sat on the ground by the car. He punched the ground several times, scraping up his knuckles. He then started crying, emotionally spent.

He pulled out his phone and sent Blaine a message so he wouldn’t worry.

I am outside, I want to go. Now please.

 A few minutes later Blaine came out the front door and stood on the porch, looking for Kurt. “Kurt, are you out here? I don’t see you!” said Blaine frantically.

“I’m here,” called Kurt from the other side of the car. He didn’t have the energy to get up. His hands hurt and his heart was shattered.

Blaine rushed over to the other side of his car and found Kurt sitting on the ground against the wheel, cradling his bleeding hands. He crouched down and tenderly grabbed his hands. “Baby, what did you do to your knuckles?” he asked gently.

“Blaine, can we go...please?” was all Kurt could say.

“Of course. Let’s go babe,” he said, gently lifting Kurt off the ground. What happened down there? He could hear yelling but Kurt and Rachel had assured him that everything was okay. He just thought they were yelling it out. They were both drama queens, after all. “We need to get your hands fixed up. Let’s stop at the pharmacy so I can get some bandages and then we can go somewhere nice, okay?”
Kurt nodded and allowed Blaine to help him in the car. His hands were pretty useless, so he allowed his boyfriend to buckle him in.

Blaine was so scared for Kurt. They had to talk about this. Right away.

**********

A/N As you might have figured out, the song was “Hope You’re Happy/Defying Gravity” from the Musical Wicked. I have said it before, but I have a huge pet peeve when they just stick in a song for the sake of it. I call it the “Choir Room” songs. I like to integrate them into the story. I won’t reuse many songs, but it may happen. If I do, there is a reason.