Cruel Summer Chapter 17 - Tell Him

Word Count: 7,413/189,000

Rating: PG-13 Warning: Drinking and Recreational Drug Use

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Hi Ho everyone! I am suffering from a cold so bear with me. This chapter is basically fluff through and through, with some important storyline parts at the beginning and end. This was one of my favorite chapters to write, because it is so weird.We also wanted some fun stuff before things got serious again. And they will. As usual, AS sends a howdy with a little hand wave!

Disclaimers: Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would plan a glee cruise with the cast. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. Yadda yadda yadda, hehe.

Thanks: Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Also cast and crew of Glee. Ryan Murphy, you are amazeballs!

********

Blaine decided to drive his car to pick up the snacks, and Rachel didn’t protest. She wasn’t into cars or anything, but Blaine’s BMW was so nice! “I have always wanted a Beamer, and once my dreams came true on Broadway, it would be my first car,” Rachel thought to herself confidently.  “Of course, if I could request it, it will be pink, my signature color. After all, shouldn’t I have all the good things in life when I’m famous? I worked hard enough for it! All those voice lessons and dance lessons had to be worth something, especially since I had to sacrifice so much of my young life to dedicate to my craft. Well, fame takes sacrifice, and that is what I am willing to do.”

As they drove out of Rachel’s neighborhood, Blaine spotted a park with a small playground and asked, “Hey Rach, mind stopping here for a bit? I always loved playgrounds.” He just wanted some time to think, and the park was always a good place to do so. Anytime he wanted to get away from his family, he used to go to the park and sit on a swing. It seemed to calm him down.

“Sure!” Rachel exclaimed. “Let’s see who can swing the highest!” They parked and made their way to the playground. Rachel was skipping and dragging Blaine behind her. With her pink ensemble and pigtails, she looked like a little kid; it was quite cute. 

They spent the next several minutes pushing each other on the swing, and Blaine started feeling much better. Just the act of swinging made him feel like a kid again, and for a little bit he forgot about being an adult, or at least an adult-in-training. Thankfully he didn’t have to grow up just yet. To Rachel’s delight, Blaine swung as high as he could and jumped off the swing, tucking and rolling when he hit the ground. He had training in theatrical tumbling, so this sort of stuff came easily to him.

After they got their fill of the playground equipment, Blaine made his way to the picnic table and Rachel followed. There was no one else at the park as the sun had set not too long ago. He sat down on the bench and put his chin in his hands, pondering the unfairness of life. Changing his mind, he pulled out his Swiss army knife. He carried it for emergencies and found it came in handy at times.

He was suddenly starting to feel very fidgety. Rachel looked at him but didn’t say anything. She knew that her friend was bothered by something and figured he would talk if he wanted advice.

Without thinking, Blaine scratched “I Love Kurt H” on the table with the knife. He didn’t even realize he was doing it until Rachel pointed it out. “Blaine, I’m not sure if vandalism is a good idea,” she scolded. “I have to say, though, it’s pretty romantic.”

“Sorry, hon. Lots on my mind,” he said absently as he continued to scratch at the table.

“It might make you feel better if you talk to me about it,” said Rachel, gently taking the Swiss army knife from Blaine and closing it. She didn’t want any accidents tonight. Besides, blood grossed her out. She silently prayed that her first gig wasn’t going to be a murder mystery. It would be embarrassing to refuse her first professional job on principle.

Blaine just looked at Rachel, wondering if he wanted to spill his innermost feelings. Yes, they were close friends, best friends even, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to expose himself like that. After a moment or two of quiet reflection, he decided the best way was to sing it:

“I'm scared. So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak if I tremble when I speak.
What if there's another place he's thinking of?
Maybe he's not in love.
I'd feel like a fool. Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do!

Rachel knew exactly what he was talking about. She also knew what song he was singing and was impressed that he picked a Barbra/Celine duet to express his feelings. She answered by singing:

“I've been there with my heart out in my hand.
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance to love him pass you by.”

Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes.
Reach out to him and whisper,
Tender words so soft and sweet.
Hold him close to feel his heartbeat.
Love will be the gift you give yourself.”

She stood up and sat across from Blaine and grabbed his hands. She continued advising him:

“Touch him with the gentleness you feel inside.
Your love can't be denied.
The truth will set you free.
You'll have what's meant to be.
All in time you'll see.”

Blaine had tears in his eyes. He was so happy Rachel understood what he was feeling. He felt silly keeping this from her. He resumed pouring out his heart to her about his feelings for Kurt:

“I love him!
Of that much I can be sure.
I don't think I could endure,
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say.”

Rachel grinned at her friend. This man was sharing his innermost feelings about her best friend. She wanted nothing but the best for both of them, and it made her happy that Blaine felt this way. She stood up and pulled Blaine up, still holding his hands. They both sang:

“Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes.
Reach out to him and whisper,
Tender words so soft and sweet.
Hold him close to feel his heart beat.
Love will be the gift you give yourself.”

Blaine smiled as the tears fell down his cheeks. He knew that Kurt was his soulmate. He just needed some time to realize it, and affirmation from the unlikeliest source. Rachel pulled him in for a hug as she finished the song:

“Never let him go.”

“Thank you, Rachel,” sniffed Blaine. He didn’t want to cry anymore, but it seemed to be the only way to get out the pent-up emotion.

“I love you, Blaine, and I love Kurt. More than I think you know. Having you two together would make me very happy. So how about we get those snacks and maybe we can call Kurt later, okay?” Rachel said gently.

“Sure,” Blaine said and smiled. He turned away to walk back to the car but change his mind and kissed Rachel on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Rachel asked, surprised at Blaine’s sudden token of affection. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Yes you have,” Blaine responded. “You helped me realize what I really wanted. Let’s go get those snacks.”

***************

While Rachel and Blaine were on their late night quest for munchies, Noah Puckerman was planning some fun of his own. He hated seeing Kurt so bummed out, so Puck did what he normally would do when things went to hell.

“So what’s so important that I MUST go outside?” Kurt asked with a grin. He looked over to Finn and added, “Where’s Mom anyway?”

“She went over to Emma and Shue’s to watch a movie or something. She said she would be home late, so don’t wait up,” Finn answered with a shrug. “I don’t put a tracker on her, Kurt.”

Kurt noticed that Finn was a little pissy tonight and looked distracted, so he shrugged and ignored his brother’s mood.

“Which makes what we’re going to do tonight that much easier,” Puck said with an evil chuckle.

Kurt looked at Puck suspiciously. “Noah, if you expect me to do any sort of vandalism, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I may look like a badass, but a badass I’m not,” he said to his mohawked friend sternly. He hoped his makeover was only on the outside, although he was quickly realizing his changes were happening internally as well. The world he once knew was being revealed as something completely different.

“Don’t get your panties in a knot, Hummel. It’s nothing like that. We’re just going to hang in the backyard for a while. I got you a present,” Puck said and walked to the shed beside the hammock. He opened the door and pulled out two boxes filled with bottles. “My uncle bought these for me. Got a case of beer for us and some wine coolers for you.”

Kurt shook his head vehemently and exclaimed, “No way! After the hangover I had the other day, I’m never again putting another beer bottle to my lips! I’ll hang out with you guys, but I’m going to refuse, sorry Puck.”

“But that’s why I got you the coolers! They give a much less harsh hangover, and most of the time, nothing at all. Right boys?” Puck asked the other two men. Sam and Finn grinned and nodded their agreement. “Here’s another drinker’s secret,” Puck added and leaned into Kurt almost whispering. “Drink lots of water before bed and you won’t have a hangover at all! How in the hell do you think I got to school every day?”

“Well, Rachel never did mention anything about a hangover when she was drinking those pink things at her party,” Kurt mused. The only thing he could remember Rachel doing that night was singing and making out with Blaine, and yelling about how her drink “tastes like pink!” Kurt was still feeling particularly down, and missing Blaine wasn’t helping the situation. “Okay, fine! If you insist. But only one!” he said, putting out his hand for the bottle.

No one handed Kurt a bottle, but Finn spoke up, his mood inexplicably flipping from sullen to happy.

 “Look, bro, we figured you could use a guy’s night out. We can do something else if you prefer,” suggested Finn. “The bowling alley is open late tonight.”

“Maybe he really was jealous of my friendship with Rachel. He would get along with Blaine tonight, then! Has everyone caught my crazy?” Kurt thought bitterly. He also thought about those gross rented shoes and gave a shudder, and a bar was the last place he wanted to be tonight. “No, this is fine. Why don’t we go to the park or something? It’s only a 15-minute walk from here, so we don’t have to drive. I’ve spent enough time at home. I need to go somewhere before I go insane,” he suggested hopefully.

“Sweet! We can do that!” cried Puck. “Finn, do you have a bag we can put these in?” he added, gesturing to the alcohol carelessly. Finn nodded and returned to the house to grab a duffel bag and some padding for the bottles. “Guys, wait right here. I gotta go get something from my bike.”

Kurt shrugged and sat on the hammock. Sam was just sitting on the lawn, playing with a blade of grass, so Kurt asked, “So Sam, we haven’t chatted in a while. What’s new with you?” He was just making small talk, although he was genuinely interested in Sam’s life. This new Kurt was going to be less self-centered. Less Rachel and more Blaine.

“Nothing too much. Getting ready to go home for the summer,” Sam responded. He and Kurt hung out in different social circles than the glee club, so conversation with Kurt was usually awkward. Sam figured the best thing to do in that situation was to say as little as possible.

“We’re going to miss you here at Chez Hudson-Hummel,” Kurt informed. “Will you be joining us at McKinley next year?”

“That’s the plan! Looks like you’ll have to deal with me for another year, Kurt,” Sam said with a giant smile. Kurt always liked Sam. Of course he had a tiny crush on Sam back in Kurt’s junior year, but like Finn, their relationship evolved into something akin to siblings. “I’m glad you’re coming back to help Mr. Schue.”

Kurt gave a shooing motion and stated, “Oh, it’s been a pleasure, Evans. I’m looking forward to hanging out with you more next year, if I end up staying. I’m pretty sure I will be.” When Puck and Finn didn’t return, Kurt lay down on the hammock and asked, “So what’s going on with you and Mercedes? I know she was leaving for LA this week. I’m a bit pissed she didn’t even say goodbye today. A text would have been nice. I was one of her earliest and biggest fans!” He scoffed, “Typical diva behavior. I know, ‘cause I’m the biggest one of all!”

Sam really liked this more casual Kurt. He was way easier to talk to. He always seemed so uptight before! Sam relaxed and opened up to his black-haired friend. “I have no idea what’s going on with her, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I care. Ever since she got that recording contract, she’s become way too much diva for me to handle. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. We tried a relationship twice and both times crashed and burned,” Sam said and shrugged. He really wasn’t too bothered by the whole thing, actually. He knew he should be, but he wasn’t. Life was too short.

“Not having much luck in the love department, huh?” Kurt asked, leaning over the hammock to look at his blond friend. “Welcome to the lonely hearts club. Population: Us.”

“Well, at the rate I’m going, I will have dated the entire single female population of the New Directions. Just call me the male Santana. Wait, she’s a lesbian, so now I think I just confused myself,” Sam laughed. “The guys are next. Interested?” he joked. He knew Kurt wouldn’t take him seriously, so a little harmless bromance flirting would be fine. He would never do that around the other guys, though.

Kurt laughed and pointed to himself. “You could have had this in my junior year. You snooze, you lose, Sam Evans. My heart belongs to someone else, at least I hope it does,” he said as he gave a big sad sigh.

“Look, Kurt, I don’t understand all that gay stuff. Hell, I barely understand relationship stuff period, but I know that Blaine is absolutely crazy for you. I can see it in the way he looks at you. Mercedes and I might not have worked things out, but I’m convinced you and Blaine will. Just give it a bit of time,” Sam advised then stood up, offering his hand to Kurt. “We better see what’s keeping those guys.”

“Sure,” Kurt said, taking Sam’s hand and allowing himself to be pulled up. “And Sam, homosexual relationships aren’t much different than hetero ones. Or so I have been led to believe. I don’t think there are any special rules or subsections to the handbook.” At Sam’s blank stare, he added drily, “No, there isn’t a gay user’s manual, Sam. I was kidding. Nevermind.”

Sam wasn’t following what Kurt was saying so he said, “I just wanted to thank you for sharing your home with me. You’ll always be my brother, Kurt,” and put his fist up for a fist bump. Kurt smiled and returned the gesture, then brought Sam in for a brotherly hug.

As they made their way to the front yard to look for the other two men, Sam asked, “So I hear you’ve discovered the intoxicating and addicting world of video games. Maybe later we can have a match?”

All of a sudden Kurt’s eyes lit up. He wanted to test his skills on anyone other than Finn. “You’re on! I want to beat someone other than Finn. Just don’t tell Puck, I want to surprise him by kicking his ass in the game,” Kurt said gleefully, well, as gleefully as could be for one so recently dumped, and clapped his friend on his back. He never imagined he would bond with the guys in New Directions over video games, of all things!

“If you think that’s fun, wait till I tell you about World of Warcraft! Elves and Orcs and dragons and swords. You can make your own character and go on all these adventures. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but in video game form!” said Sam excitedly. Any chance to talk about his favorite pastime was always a good thing. “Did you have those books when you were a kid? ‘Cause I totally have the entire collection you can borrow if you didn’t!”

“I think Blaine has a few of those books at home, but sure, feel free to bring them when you move back here,” Kurt chuckled at the sudden ramp up of enthusiasm his younger friend was showing. “This Warcraft World you talk about sounds interesting. Is that like Mario World, because Puck never shuts up about that game. Did you know he sat me down in class and tried to explain to me how Mario changed the world? I almost failed that Spanish exam, too!”

“Oh, it is interesting! And you can talk to people from all around the world! I’ll get you an account and we can hang out this summer when I’m home. I run a McKinley guild. Puck and Finn are in it, too. I’ll make sure to gear you up and send you some gold to get started. You need to pick a race and a class and decide where you want to start…” Sam was in his element and Kurt was completely lost, but he let Sam ramble on. If this game was as much fun as the war game he played with Finn, then Kurt was sure he’d like it. Sam stopped and grabbed Kurt’s arm as he said, “Oh! Kurt, you’ll love this. You can dress your avatar with whatever you want!” Sam wasn’t usually a man of many words, but he seemed to talk endlessly if he knew a lot about a subject. He was as enthusiastic about this game and geekdom in general as Kurt was about fashion. Maybe Kurt could learn to be one of those closet geeks. He had experience in being in the closet, so why not?

They found Finn and Puck in the front yard with their heads together, talking quietly. Finn looked like he was trying to talk Puck out of doing something. They saw Sam and Kurt and broke apart, as if they were caught doing something clandestine. “We ready to go?” Puck asked nonchalantly.

“I think you left something in the backyard, Noah,” Kurt informed and pointed back to where the bottles were still sitting in the box. He could tell his brother and his wayward friend were up to no good. Kurt was going to remain alert. When they were all in school and the football team got looks like that on their faces, Kurt either ended up in the dumpster or with slushie down his pants.

“Oh, shit, yeah! Glad you have the brains in this operation, Hummel,” Puck said and punched Kurt hard on the arm as he walked by. Kurt shot a dirty look and rubbed his aching arm. He would kill Puck a few extra times in game for that one, or maybe Kurt would tackle him from behind when he wasn’t looking.

“Okay, Kurt. Baby steps,” he thought to himself. “No wrestling with the jocks yet.”

Puck filled the bag with as many bottles as he could and hid the rest in the shed for later consumption. Kurt recognized that both he and Finn could get in some pretty deep shit if they were found out, so they had to be careful. Sometimes being a Congressman’s son wasn’t fun at all. 

Everything they did was potentially publicly scrutinized by Burt’s opponents.

As they were walking towards the neighborhood park, Kurt asked, “So what were you guys trying to hide back there?” Finn just pretended to look elsewhere but wouldn’t answer. “I’m not blind, gentlemen!” he said, exasperated the boys weren’t letting him in on the secret.

“Oh nothing, just packed some snacks. Call me gentleman and I’ll beat your ass!” Puck threatened.

“Now now, Puckerman, what did I say about flirting with me?” Kurt teased. “You aren’t my type. I’m the bad boy in the relationship, thank you!”

Puck said as he patted his jacket pocket, “Hey, Hummel, do you like brownies?”

“Yeah, why?” Kurt asked.

“No reason,” Puck responded snidely and shrugged.

Kurt looked at Puck with annoyance and said, “Then why did you ask me?”

“You’ll thank me later,” Puck retorted and started walking down the deserted dark street.

*******

They made their way to the closest park, which was the very same park Rachel and Blaine had been not a half hour before. It was really just a playground and a small grove of trees, but it was secluded and they were sure they wouldn’t be interrupted. They walked to the middle of the grove and were pleased to see they would be obscured from the rest of the neighborhood. Kurt realized he was still in Blaine’s sweats, but it wasn’t as if he was going out dining and dancing. He was hanging out in the middle of some woods, for god’s sake! Besides, he was going to be sitting on the ground, and these clothes could be dusted up.

The prissy side of him was fighting with the new-and-improved side of him, like some sort of weird angel and demon on his shoulder. “Kurt, dust and dirt cannot be good for your impeccable hair and skin!” prissy Kurt thought.

“God, get over yourself!” new-and-improved Kurt interjected. “This is what men do to bond. They go in the woods, they drink the beer, they have the barbeques and apparently they look at the breasts. At least according to beer commercials, they do. Although if they try to get me to look at boobs, I’m outta here!”

Kurt sat heavily on a fallen log and discovered by looking at the closest street sign that they were only two streets over from Rachel’s house. They were almost within yelling distance of Blaine. “Maybe I should go over and talk to him,” Kurt thought to himself. He shared his thoughts with the other men.

“To quote my homegirl, Mercedes, hell to the no! Kurt, you’re hanging out with the boys tonight! Blaine isn’t going anywhere! The Jewish Princess can babysit him tonight,” Puck said and gave Kurt a cooler. It was the very same shade of pink that Rachel drank at her ill-conceived party. Kurt rolled his eyes, opened the bottle and took a tentative sip. He was still nervous about drinking, but one bottle shouldn’t hurt him. He lost track of how much he drank after the first three bottles at Scandals. He wouldn’t let that happen this time!

“Hey, this isn’t bad!” Kurt exclaimed and took a larger drink. It tasted more like Kool-Aid than anything else. 

The four men sat on the ground, just shooting the shit about nothing in particular. They talked about the past year at McKinley, and Sam talked about his plans for the summer and next year as he would be the only one of the group left at the school. Kurt told them about his internship opportunity.

“Hummel, you’d be stupid not to apply!” advised Puck and passed Kurt another bottle when he noticed it was empty. Kurt was surprised to see he was on his fourth bottle. He didn’t feel smashed like he did at the bar, but he did feel a pleasant fuzziness. “Look, we’ll make sure Blaine behaves here, although I doubt he has an adventurous bone in his body. He’s boring.”

Kurt was going to make a lewd comment in response to Puck about adventurous bones and Blaine, but thought better of it. It was too easy. “I don’t even want to think about the internship right now. And Blaine isn’t boring. I call it safe,” said Kurt and tried to stand up to stretch his legs. Oops, there it was! The disconnected feeling of being drunk. As soon as he stood, he fell over again. The only thing he could do to react is laugh maniacally. That sent the other three men into gales of laughter. After everyone calmed down, Kurt sat up again with a bit of effort and added, “I need to talk to the family about it, and most importantly, Blaine.” He felt a small hunger pang and asked, “I’m starving! I should have brought those snacks I bought earlier. Hey Noah, you brought those brownies, right?”

Puck let out a giggle and said, “You sure about that, Kurt? It might upset your delicate stomach with all that pink girlie stuff in there.”

“Up yours, Puckerman,” Kurt said as he flipped Puck the bird. The other three laughed harder at Kurt’s indignities, and Puck passed over the baggie with the chocolate baked treat. Kurt tried to open the bag, but his fingers weren’t working properly. Kurt thrust the bag at Finn and whined, “Fiiiinnn… make the bag open!!” Finn gave one of his crooked grins which looked even more crooked when he was inebriated, and took the bag from his smaller brother. He knew they were having fun, but Finn felt a sense of protectiveness over Kurt. Finn thought maybe it was time to stop drinking and make sure Kurt was okay. He briefly debated coming clean, but opened the bag and passed it back. Ratting Puck out would break some bro code or something.

Kurt grabbed half a brownie just in case his stomach did get upset from eating it. He took a bite and gave a moan of pleasure. He grabbed the other half because he couldn’t let this tiny piece of heaven get away. “Dear Lord, Noah! Did you make these?” he asked.

“Yup! Nanna Connie’s secret recipe!” Puck said proudly.

“Well, I must get the recipe from you. Rachel and Blaine would love these!” Kurt said as if he were a housewife swapping recipes. Maybe in the morning he would make them a batch. 

Kurt wasn’t sure what he said, but Finn, Puck, and Sam started laughing harder. “I think there’s a joke at my expense,” Kurt thought drunkenly to himself. “Either that, or they find the stupidest things funny when they’re drunk.”

He finished the brownie and asked, “So what’s the secret ingredient? I bet it’s cinnamon.” Kurt was pretty good at baking. He aced Mrs. Hagberg’s home economics class, and he had a talent in finding hidden ingredients in pastries.

Puck got a serious look on his face and informed, “I don’t tell this secret to just anyone, but I really love you, Kurt, so I’ll share. Yes, it’s cinnamon… straight from Sandy Ryerson’s private stores!” The serious look on Puck’s face melted and he fell over laughing, almost spilling his beer.

Kurt looked confused at first. What difference would it make if the cinnamon came from Sandy Ryerson? Did he have a secret blend of spices? All of a sudden Kurt’s eyes widened in horror and he asked, “When you say Sandy Ryerson, you mean that creepy former glee club teacher who has a side business selling recreational marijuana?” Unfortunately, it didn’t quite come out of his mouth like that. His words slurred together, but Puck got the gist of what he was saying.

“Kurt, you have just been exposed to pot brownies…enjoy!” Puck said and gave a high five to Sam.

“Goddamit Puck, I’m gonna kick your ass!” exclaimed Kurt and tried to get up. Yet again, he fell over. This time he didn’t laugh. He was uber pissed at Puck for putting him in this position. “Oh, screw it! I’ll kick it later. I’m comfortable,” he pouted. Doing anything other than lying on the ground involved more effort than he could give.

Finn had substantially less to drink and he didn’t have any brownies, so he told Kurt, “Little brother, I think I’m cutting you off for now, or I’ll have to carry you home.”

“Fine with me,” grumbled Kurt from the ground, still annoyed at Puck. Kurt figured he should stop drinking while he could still remember the evening. He rolled on his back and looked into the trees. He wasn’t sure, but he thought there were little lights flitting between the leaves. It really was quite pleasant. He lay there for several minutes enjoying the light show in the foliage above. Struck with a sudden stroke of inspiration, Kurt dug his phone out of his pants pocket and texted Blaine:

I luuuuuuuv uuuuuu!!! I am zo dunk! Puck gave me pot brnies!!! I luuuv Rchl two~!!!

Kurt thought that had to be one of the most profound things he had ever written to his boyfriend. He was sure Blaine would demand that Kurt write it out in calligraphy and frame it, so he could hang it in his bedroom like a precious work of art. Kurt was about to put his phone in his pocket and look at the pretty tree fairies again when he felt his phone vibrated with a text. Blaine had responded.

Did you just say pot brownies? I’m calling right now!

“Yaaaayyy! Blainers is calling me!” Kurt yelled to the apparent fairies in the trees. The other three men were cleaning the area of bottles and brownie wrappers, and they chuckled at Kurt’s outburst. They could hold their liquor much better than Kurt could, so they just let him lie there and chill. The phone rang and after great effort, Kurt pressed the answer key. “Hiiiiiiii my Blainers!!! I looovee you! I’m sorry I’m a terrible boyfriend!”

“Kurt, are you okay?” Blaine asked frantically from the other side of the phone line. “I love you too!”

“Tell Kurt to kick Finn’s ass for me!” Kurt heard Rachel say angrily in the background.

“Rachie! I want to talk to Rachie!” Kurt said excitedly.

“Maybe a little later, Kurt,” Blaine answered.

“Hey, Finn! Blaine loves me! That’s awesome!” Kurt called loudly from the ground. “I’m in the forest, Blaine! There are pretty fairy lights in the tree! Come see the fairy lights? I want to kiss you! Oh yeah! Sam flirted with me!” Kurt was too far gone to have a conversation that followed any logical path, and his inhibitions were obliterated. 

“Babe, can you put Finn on the line for me?” Blaine asked, trying not to laugh despite the feeling of panic he was having. He knew Kurt’s brother was there, but Finn could have been as messed up as Kurt was. Blaine was extremely disappointed in Finn, and would talk to him about watching out for Kurt later.

“Wheeeee! He called me babe!!!” Kurt yelled. Puck looked back and shushed him. “Sorry, Noah…” Kurt stage whispered and giggled. He tried to sit up but couldn’t. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, Blainers!” He laughed at the seemingly hilarious joke he just made.

“Kurt, I’m going to hang up now and call Finn, okay? You take care of yourself and I’ll see you very soon,” Blaine said soothingly.

“Okay Blaine. I miss you! I’m going to marry you someday, you know!” Kurt slurred. “And we’ll live in New York and have a little boy and a little girl and a pony. I promise!”

“A  pony, Kurt?” Blaine asked, slightly bemused. Kurt was really out of it.  “In New York City?”

“Yesth, our little girl, Bonnie Blue, will need a pony!” Kurt responded adamantly. “A cute little pony, all white. We can paint her little hoofs pink and put ribbons in her hair.”  

“The pony’s hair?” Blaine sounded confused. “And who’s Bonnie?”

“Oh Blaine, don’t be silly. Our daughter is Bonnie Blue and we’ll put ribbons in her hair!” Kurt replied indignantly. 

“I thought we were going to name her Rose Louise,” Blaine was clearly disappointed. He would have to address this issue with Kurt when Kurt was sober. “But I like the name Rose Louise!”

“Oh! No, no, no, no, silly, Rose doesn’t have a pony, only Bonnie Blue does!” Kurt sounded exasperated. 

There was a moment of silence at the other end. Blaine realized Kurt was really, really out of it. No point in fighting over something so irrational with someone who had obviously taken a “crazy pill”. Blaine finished the call with, “Okay. You’re right. I miss you. Bye, babe!”

Kurt pushed the end button on his phone and yelled to his brother, “Finn! Hey, Finn! Blaine is going to call you! Tell him I love him?” 

His phone vibrated again and he noticed the message was from Rachel.

Kurt, you be careful! I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m gonna kill Finn!

Kurt laughed, which was an inappropriate reaction, but everything seemed funny right now, and he sent a response:

Rachl, I luv U! Finn is my brthr and he can take car of mee!! Don’t worry. Sam hit on me!!!! Shh, don’t tell Bln.

Puck laughed and walked over to his wasted friend. He kneeled down and said kindly, “Hey Hummel, you need to keep it down. There are some houses around here. We don’t want to get in trouble, do we?”

“Oops! I’ll be quiet, I promise….shhhhhh,” Kurt whispered as if he was letting Puck in on some colossal secret. Puck nodded and patted Kurt on the head, like he was a child. Much louder, Kurt squealed, “Hey Noah, come watch the pretty fairy tree lights! Or Sam…send Sam over to hang out with me. I like Sam! He tried to ask me out!”

Puck shook his head. Maybe giving Kurt the pot brownies was a bad idea. Getting him home was going to be interesting. He walked over to Sam and asked, “Can you go keep an eye on Kurt? We can move over to the playground until he comes down.”

“This might not have been a well thought out plan,” Sam chuckled. He was used to Puck’s special brownies, and his alcohol tolerance was way higher than Kurt’s. “He has a wicked case of verbal diarrhea.”

“I just wanted to make him feel better,” Puck responded defensively. “My bad.” Sam clapped Puck on the shoulder before joining Kurt on the forest floor. Sam tried to explain the basics of online gaming. He eventually gave up when Kurt said he wanted to play a tree fairy. The irony was not lost on Sam.

Kurt started jabbering again about pretty fairy lights and leaves and stuff, as well as the deep questions of life. “Hey, Mr. Sam Evans, I have a really important question for you. It’s like the most important question in the whole world!”

“What is it, Kurt?” Sam asked, amused at Kurt’s innocence.

“Have you ever had the feeling that you were being watched by like millions of people? ‘Cause I have, and its sorta creepy,” Kurt said seriously. Sam just shook his head, thinking that Kurt had finally lost it. “I bet they’re watching us right now!”

“I bet they are,” Sam said, humoring his wasted friend.

“Hey Sam?” Kurt asked again.

“What?” Sam said, wondering how he got Kurt watching duty.

“I just had the coolest thought! Okay, my name is Kurt, right? Well, there is a word that means rude… that’s curt with a C. Wait, it gets better!” Kurt said, thinking Sam was going to interrupt him. “My dad? His name is Burt. That rhymes! Mine and Finn’s name together is Furt. Do you know what sounds like Furt? Fart! Isn’t that hilarious?”

“Real funny, Kurt,” said Sam, trying not to laugh. He was about to stand up and beg Finn to relieve him when Kurt grabbed his arm.

“Sam, I’m not done yet! Don’t be rude!” Kurt exclaimed. “Okay, so you and Finn would be Sinn and Finn and Puck would be Fu…”

“Alright, Hummel, why don’t you just lie there and look at the fairies and junk,” Puck interrupted, putting a clearly flustered Sam out of his misery.

“Why would I want to look at a fairy’s junk?” Kurt asked sincerely.

“Just pipe down, Homo Explosion!” Puck admonished.

“That isn’t nice, Noah!” Kurt whined but fell into a happy silence. Puck chuckled, because unbeknownst to Kurt, he had recorded the entire exchange. He filed it away for a future showing to Blaine.

Finn walked over to Puck and gave a low whistle. “I was just on the phone with Blaine. He’s so pissed at me! I told him that I’ll take care of Kurt, but I don’t think he believes me. I’ve seen Blaine when he’s mad, so I better not piss him off more. On top of everything Rachel is going to be mad at me, too,” he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Chill, dude, we don’t have to go back till he comes down a bit. Besides, I brought a couple cans of Coke for this reason!” Puck said and grabbed the duffel bag. “Look, can you and Sam bring Sir Drinks-a-lot over to the picnic table at the playground? We can hang out there.”

Finn and Sam tried lifting Kurt from the forest floor, but Kurt wasn’t making it easy. He was giggling and stumbling. “Screw it!” Finn grumbled and lifted his brother over his shoulder.

“Why are you carrying me like a sack of potatos, Finn?” Kurt asked wistfully. “I want to stay here! It’s pretty! Finn, you’re pretty, too!”

“We’re going over to the playground, Kurt,” Finn informed his brother. “Just hold on, will ya?”

“I can walk, you know!” Kurt cried, but he didn’t struggle. “Can I go on the swing?” he asked. That was a great idea and lots of fun!

Finn laughed and said, “Sure, if you can hold yourself upright.”

“I’ll do my best!” Kurt said eagerly. Finn shook his head and carried the smaller man to the swing set. He gently put Kurt down.

“There! Now sit!” Finn commanded. Kurt gave a pout, sat on the swing and almost fell off. “Sit, don’t swing! At least not till the stuff wears off.”

“Okay, Mister Bossy Pants!” Kurt said and stuck out his tongue immaturely. Finn noticed that Kurt turned into a five-year-old when high. He took the swing beside Kurt and sat down. Sam and Puck were sitting at the picnic table, talking about nothing in particular. Kurt looked over to his brother and asked, “Hey, Finn?”

“What, Kurt?” said Finn, getting lost in his own thoughts.

“You are my Big Brother and I love you and I love Mom and I love Dad and I love Blaine and I love Rachel too. I’m glad you joined my family,” Kurt rambled. He was feeling a bit brave so he started to gently swing. Thankfully, he didn’t fall off, although it took all his concentration to do so. “Rachel is going to be my sister, you know! And when Blaine and I get married, he will be your brother. So that would make Rachel and Blaine brother and sister! Wow! I think I just blew my own mind!”

That was the first time Kurt had ever told Finn he loved him. “I love you too, buddy,” Finn said distractedly.

Kurt noticed that Finn wasn’t himself this evening so he got off the swing and stumbled to the ground in front of Finn’s swing. “Finn, what’s wrong? Talk to your brother!” Kurt demanded, sitting cross-legged in the sand.

Finn stood up and offered his hand as he said, “Come on, Kurt. I want to talk to you guys about something.” 

“Okay, although I’m not sure how useful I’ll be.” said Kurt as he accepted the boost. He didn’t like the tone in Finn’s voice. Kurt was unsteady on his feet, but at least the alcohol was starting to wear off, even if the brownie wasn’t. 

They walked over to the picnic table and sat down. Puck pulled out some cans of Coke and passed them around.

“So, Puck already knows about this, and I talked to Blaine about it too, but I guess I should tell you guys…” Finn started.

“I love Blaine! We’re going to get married, you know!” Kurt informed everyone like it was a foregone conclusion.

“Kurt! Focus, please!” scolded Finn. Kurt looked down remorsefully and Finn continued, “I haven’t made up my mind one hundred percent yet, but I’m thinking of enlisting in the army.”

“Why would you want to do that?” asked Kurt, a bit confused from all the intoxication. “And what about the wedding? That’s like next week! Don’t tell me I have to re-plan the whole thing!”

“Kurt, you told me yourself that it was too soon. I still want to marry Rachel, but I need to find some sort of direction in my life,” Finn responded. “I also need a way to provide for her. I don’t think Dad’s shop is it, especially if I’m moving to New York with Rachel.”

Kurt was feeling a bit blurry in the head, but he attempted to share his thoughts by advising, “I said it was too soon when you were in school! Things are different now. We’re adults, as much as it kills me to say it.” He didn’t want to admit it, but the different thing for Kurt was Blaine and their future. He would marry Blaine in a second if it didn’t look just as bad as Finn’s marriage to Rachel. Bad as in totally premature and way too soon. Kurt had to be the more practical brother, after all. “There are tons of jobs in New York!”

“I’m talking to you as my brother, not as Rachel’s best friend. Kurt, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about my real dad.” Finn explained the real reason he wanted to join the army. He told Kurt everything about his real dad, and not just the cleaned up version his mom told him most of his life. As he listened, Kurt’s eyes got wider. Sam just listened in, but didn’t say anything. 

“Finn! Oh my god! That’s terrible! This is something you definitely have to do, then!” Kurt said and put his hand on his brother’s arm. “But what about Rachel? Are you going to leave her? ‘Cause I’m not sure I can handle that.”

“No, no. Nothing like that. But I think I’m calling off the wedding, at least for now. Once I enlist, I need to go through basic training, and goodness knows where I’ll end up. Please don’t tell her? I want to be the one to give her the news. She’s going to hate me, but it’s something I need to do.” Finn pounded the table with frustration. “God, I hate this!”

Kurt was partially sobered up by now, although he was still feeling pretty high. At least he could string some coherent thoughts together. Big news did that to you. “Finn, you have to do what you need to. Rachel isn’t going anywhere. She will wait for you. I know it! I also know how much your dad meant to you, and how his story always inspired you. This is going to be really challenging, but you have my support. Why don’t we talk to Mom and Dad when Dad comes home tomorrow?”

“That would work,” Finn said quietly. “And you won’t tell Rachel?”

“Finn, I’ll be lucky if I remember anything from tonight,” Kurt informed and turned to Puck. “By the way, Noah? You. Me. Ass-kicking. Tomorrow. It’s on!” He looked down and did a double take in surprise. He didn’t notice it before, but on the table was scratched out ‘I Love Kurt H.’ Was Blaine there before him?

“You’re awesome, Kurt,” Puck said with a smile. “I love you, man!”

“And don’t you forget it!” Kurt said and stood up. He was much steadier on his feet. “Guys, I have an idea. Since I’m what you would call ‘wasted,’ I want to do something impulsive.

“What do you have in mind?” Sam asked. He could see the mischievous look on Kurt’s face and was intrigued and a little scared.

“I think we need to pay a little visit to the Berrys!” Kurt announced.

“Woo hoo! Time to kick Anderson’s ass!” cried Puck happily. Kurt just pushed him, laughed, and stumbled away.

“Oh god, what is he going to do?” Finn asked nervously. Puck laughed and followed his intoxicated friend.

******

Song is “Tell Him” by Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion. I felt it was fitting considering that Rachel was part of the duet. I know this was a weird chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. Just wanted some fluff before shit got real again. Also, we have decided to split Cruel Summer in two as this one is getting huge...so this one should end at chapter 25-ish with an epilogue, then we will start in on part two right away. I'll keep all you shiny happy people informed.