Cruel Summer Chapter 14 - It's a Fine, Fine Line

Word Count: 8,214/189,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Welcome back all! This is a pretty major chapter for me. It was the first time I actually cried while writing, so it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy it. Not much to say as it’s pretty self-explanatory…just remember it’s part of the story, and chapter 15 comes in a couple days, so don’t hate us, cause we adore you.

We also wanted to give a huge shout out to Bookie Fan, who gave us an incredible review. It really touched us and it’s people like you that we write for. All of you have been nothing but supportive in this endeavor. Also we have decided that Cruel Summer will be 2 books. More info on that later.

Dislaimers: Neither KurtsieKalanai nor AlignedStars own Glee. If we did, we would do a spinoff that would be just Klaine, Finchel, and Barole called Hudmelberry Anderson, or something like that. It would have very special guest stars from McKinley. Second, we don’t own the songs in the fic. We do use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon. We try to stick to canon the best we can, however. Characters may be OOC, but there are reasons why, as you will soon see.

Thanks: Our beta Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Seriously people, if you like podcasts, check them out. Oh, one more thing! I (KK) have a twitter so follow me at KurtsieKalanai. I’m still trying to talk AS into getting one, hehe. As usual, we love feedback. Thanks and love you all!

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“Kurt Hummel is returning to McKinley!” Kurt cried happily. He ran down the stairs of the patio and over to hug Blaine, who was on the lawn looking confused along with the rest of the New Directions. Kurt’s announcement was not what the gang was expecting. 

Brittany yelled out triumphantly, “Looks like I’m not the only second-year senior!” Then she leaned over and whispered to Santana, “Do you think he’ll run against me for class president again? Or do you think I should hire him first to be my campaign manager?” Everyone stopped to stare at Brittany.

Santana patted Brittany on the hand and said, “I think he means something else. Give him a moment to explain.” 

Blaine was side-eying Brittany with an odd combination of pity for her joy at being a second-year senior and slight horror at the thought that Kurt might have to be one, too. Kurt was certainly no Brittany when it came to intelligence or lack thereof.  Blaine turned back to Kurt. “What do you mean?” asked Blaine. “Are you not graduating? Is that what Mr. Schue was telling you?” The rest of the gang was looking on, wondering what the hell was going on.

Kurt laughed and hugged his boyfriend. “No, no. Nothing like that, Blaine.” He turned to everyone and announced proudly, “Ladies and gentlemen, you are now looking at the new part time glee club assistant and anti-bully task force representative! Wow, that’s a mouthful!”

Everyone looked at him, trying to process what he just said. He rolled his eyes and added, “It means I’m working at the school in September!! I get to hang with some of you for a little while longer.”

“Are you messing with me, babe? Is this getting back at me for the picture incident earlier?” asked Blaine, shocked at this turn of events.

“Not the picture and not the popcorn you put in my pillow. Nice try, by the way,” Kurt said as an aside to Blaine. To the rest of the kids, Kurt assured them, “I swear, I’m telling you the truth!” He turned back to where Will was rejoining the adults and called, “Hey, Will! These dummies don’t believe me! I’m going to be working at the school starting in September, right?”  

“That he is!” said Will, smiling at everyone.

Blaine’s face lit up with a beaming smile. “Oh my god, that’s amazing news!!! I’m so excited, Kurt! I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel right now.” Blaine could hardly contain himself; he wanted to do a happy dance all over the yard while kissing the man he loved. Kurt having a reason to stay in Ohio with Blaine was a dream come true.  

But then Rachel launched herself into Kurt’s arms pushing Blaine aside and screeched, “Kurt, that’s great news! I know how much you love New Directions, and you’ll lead the group to Nationals victory for a second year in a row. I’m so proud of you! Then next year, you and Blaine can join me in New York!” Blaine felt a little put out. This was his time to be with Kurt. But he held himself in check and didn’t complain. He walked around the back of Kurt with the intention of pulling Kurt away for a private victory kiss.

Kurt was having none of Blaine’s attentions. Instead he smiled at Rachel. New York didn’t sound so bad anymore. He pulled Blaine over to one side and pulled Rachel in to the other and whispered, “I don’t want everyone to know this yet, but there’s a small chance I might be in New York sooner than that.”

“What?” probed Rachel and Blaine in unison. Unfortunately, their reactions were opposite. Rachel was ecstatic. Blaine, not so much.

“I’ll explain after the party,” Kurt said and turned to his boyfriend. “I promise, this is good news. If this happens we may be set, Blaine.”

The news was bittersweet to Blaine. He felt his world cave in. The euphoric high he felt a few moments before faded instantly, and it was replaced with heavy dark clouds of resentment. This was not fair, not fair at all! Kurt had gotten Blaine’s hopes up high, really high. For the first time in days he had felt true happiness. Contentment for a brief moment was dashed to the ground. Why would Kurt go and ruin this happy moment by saying he might be leaving again? 

Blaine’s anger flashed towards Kurt and it scared him. He truly felt he loved Kurt and thought the feelings he had for him were of the grown-up kind. It was real, not the puppy love feelings his mother carelessly accused him of having to hurt him. 

Blaine really liked the idea of Kurt in the choir room. Actually, that would be perfect, wonderful… no, heavenly! But the idea of Kurt leaving for New York when there was a perfectly good reason for him to stay here with Blaine for another year was devastating. But then again, Kurt did say if he got a job and could support them, Blaine would get a ring on his finger. Everything was conflicted. What could be bad might be good. Not knowing didn’t make Blaine feel any better. 

Blaine gave a small smile, but inside he wanted to cry. He tried to be supportive of his boyfriend, but these last few days had been so chaotic, and now there was more chaos piled on top. He just needed to get away for a while to process everything.

He successfully pulled Kurt away from Rachel and asked, “Kurt, do you mind if I go lie down in your bed? It seems I have developed a bit of a headache from all the excitement.”

Kurt looked at Blaine with concern. “Oh no! He’s mad at me!” Kurt thought frantically. “Blaine, are you okay? I can go up and take care of you,” he said, touching Blaine’s arm.

Blaine really wanted to be alone, so he said with a fake smile, “No, I’ll be fine. This party is for you. I just need some painkillers and a bit of quiet time. I’ll be back in no time.”

Kurt looked worried. “Okay, but text me if you need me,” he said and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss.

As Blaine started to walk away, he could hear Rachel shuffle to Kurt and whisper, “So, what’s going on with New York?”

“God, she’s so irritating,” Blaine thought. “No one cares about my feelings!” Blaine wanted desperately to punch someone or something. His anger quickly switched from Kurt to Rachel. She was the real reason Kurt would pursue New York. She was the one who kept pulling Kurt away from him. Blaine began to perceive Rachel as his main threat to happiness and he mentally began to plot out ways to take her out of the equation. 

“Not right now, Rach. I told you I’d tell you all later,” said Kurt with worry in his voice. Blaine was secretly thrilled to hear Kurt blow her off. As Blaine walked further away, he could feel Kurt’s eyes on his back. It was kind of creepy that way. He could always feel when his boyfriend was around, like a sixth sense.

Blaine, while deep in Rachel-loathing thoughts, slowly walked up the stairs and into the kitchen through the back door. Carole was at the sink preparing some ice for drinks.

“Hi Blaine, would you mind helping me…” she asked then saw the look on Blaine’s face and stopped. She walked over to him and inquired, “Are you okay?”

Blaine avoided her gaze. If she saw the upset in his eyes, she would make him talk. “It’s nothing,” he muttered. “Just not feeling well, that’s all. Too much sun or something.”

Blaine tried to excuse himself and politely pushed his way by, but Carole commanded, “Freeze, mister!” Blaine groaned but smiled, remembering that Kurt said a similar thing the day before.

Kurt. Thinking about Kurt hurt his heart right now. The smile quickly disappeared.

“Have a seat, Blaine. I’ll make you some tea. I was going to have one myself, anyhow,” she said and gently pushed Blaine to the kitchen table. Blaine sighed. A Carole talk was the last thing he needed right now. Blaine just wanted to be alone, but she was a grown-up and he had been brought up to respect adults, so with some reluctance Blaine sat down. Besides, he didn’t want to hurt Carole’s feelings by being discourteous. 

Blaine forced a pleasant smile and looked directly at Carole. He said in an overly cheerful voice, “I’m fine. Really. I just have some thoughts I‘m working through.”

“Blaine, don’t bullshit me. A mother knows,” she admonished. Carole wasn’t buying Blaine’s fake “everything’s just fine” act. By the same token, Blaine looked shocked as he never heard Carole swear. Maybe she really was treating him like an adult! Carole went on, “You don’t have to tell me, but it might make you feel better.”

Blaine gave another sigh and said, frustrated, “I’m just conflicted.”

“In what way?” asked Carole.

“I think with all the craziness of the past few days, I’m just tired and frustrated and why the hell does life have to suck like this??” exclaimed Blaine as he slammed his hand on the table. “I’m so sick of being strong. It’s exhausting,” he said a little quieter.

Carole brought over two mugs of tea and put them on the table. Outside, there was the sound of a flurry of activity and Blaine could hear Kurt screeching about something. He must have joined in on the game of Charades they were playing. Blaine laid his forehead down on the table. He felt a headache forming. 

“Blaine, you’ve dealt with things that someone your age should never have to deal with. Of course you are tired!” advised Carol.

Blaine raised his head. “You can say that again,” he muttered. A little louder, he said, “It seems like things are changing so quickly that I’m getting a case of mental whiplash. Not even five minutes ago, I just got two pieces of news. One I’m ecstatic about, the other is a bit upsetting. Can I have an aspirin?”

“Sure.” Carole got up, grabbed her purse and pulled out a small bottle of pain relief. She handed it over to Blaine and asked him, “Are you talking about Kurt working at the school and the New York thing?”

Blaine looked at Carole, surprised, and said, “How do you know?” and added a thanks before opening up the bottle. He debated taking three pills instead of two but Carole was watching, so he opted for two. Blaine felt this compulsive need to over-medicate at times.  

As Carole was putting sugar in her tea, she said, “Emma called me this morning before everyone was up and told me the news. I was going to tell you before Kurt got up, but Finn interrupted our conversation.”

“Oh,” Blaine said, disappointed. He really wished he heard about it earlier, so he could prepare himself. Now Kurt thought that Blaine was mad at him, and that was not the case at all. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated that he’ll be at the school, but I’m dreading him possibly leaving. I had just accepted he was going until we got the news about NYADA, and now I have to accept it again. It pisses me off.” He put his head in his arms and let another big sigh. “And Rachel is really making me mad.” 

Carole thought for a moment, and looking deadpan at Blaine, stated, “And Rachel… Well, we love Rachel.”

Blaine cracked up briefly. He really needed to work through his feelings about Rachel. He groaned and put his head back down on the table. 

Carole put her hand on Blaine’s head and stroked his hair. He flinched because he was not expecting it, but he didn’t pull away. Unexpected moments always made him antsy. He was just better at covering it up than Kurt was. Why couldn’t he have a mother like this! Carole could make him feel better with a few words and a hug, something that his mother could never do. “Look,” she said. “I know this is a lot of information to process, but I want Kurt to be the one to explain things to you. Keep in mind this opportunity is a long shot, but if he gets it, it’ll help his confidence immensely.”

Blaine looked up at Carole and asked, “Really?”

Carole smiled at him and nodded as she said, “Yeah, it will. If this does happen, you know that you can always go visit him. New York isn’t that far away, after all. If you get really lonely, you can come over here to spend time with us. I think Burt is going to miss Kurt as much as you do, and he always mentions how much he likes watching the game with you. Next thing you know, it’ll be next year and you’ll be off on your own, too!”

“I guess,” Blaine said, still not convinced. “And this will be really good for Kurt?” Carole nodded. “I just wish I knew what was going on. I suppose I’ll wait for Kurt to tell me if I have to.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Carole, patting Blaine’s hand. “Believe me, I know how much you’ll miss him. Remember, Burt is away a lot, and most of the time I stay here by myself. Also remember that this is a small chance. I think the best thing to do is concentrate on the good things, like Kurt working at the school. We can deal with the rest as it comes. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Blaine and tried to smile. However, a smile just wouldn’t come. His head was spinning with too much information. “I think I’m just going to go to Kurt’s room now. I need to think this through.”

“Of course, Blaine,” agreed Carole. “What should I tell the others?”

“Kurt knows I’m in here, so it’s all good,” Blaine answered. He gave Carole a hug and was about to make his way upstairs to some blessed quiet when Finn came running in the back door with panic on his face.

“Dude, you need to get out here right now. It’s an emergency!” Finn said breathlessly.

“Oh god, what now?” said Blaine as he rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take!

“Kurt and Rachel are both out there doing a re-creation of that stupid musical, and there’s about to be a mutiny!” yelled Finn.

“Wicked?” asked Blaine and snorted. Leave it to those two to put on a show in the aftermath of all this stress!

“Yeah! Can you come out here and stop him? There’s murder in the gang’s eyes,” encouraged Finn and took off out the door again.

Blaine chucked and followed Finn. When he was outside, he had to hold in a laugh. Kurt and Rachel were acting out the scene before the song ‘Popular,’ and the rest of the group was forced to sit on the lawn and watch. They all stared at the duo with severe aggravation. Rachel was playing Galinda, and Kurt was playing Elphaba.

Rachel/Galinda said in her best high pitched squeaky voice, “But that was the milkflower’s fault, not yours! That may be your secret, Elphaba, but that doesn't make it true. Oh look, it's tomorrow! Elphie... do you mind if I call you Elphie?”

Kurt/Elphaba responded in his low voice, “Well, it's a little perky.”

“I’ll give you perky,” interrupted Santana.

Rachel gave a dirty look and continued. Every performance was bound to have its hecklers. This was good practice! She said sweetly to Kurt, “And you can call me... Galinda. So... Elphie... now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!”

“I can think of another project!” moaned Puck suggestively. He really loved Kurt and Rachel, but this was just getting ridiculous! Quinn smacked him on the arm. “What? What?” he exclaimed to Quinn while acting all innocent. “What is it with you women smacking me?”

“You said it, Puck!” Finn agreed, but shrunk at Rachel’s glare.

All of a sudden, Kurt realized that this was a sinking ship, and spying Blaine on the steps, decided to cheer him up. He dramatically pointed at Rachel and yelled, “YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT!!” That should make Blaine laugh. He learned it from Blaine’s brother, after all.

Rachel looked scandalized. She stomped to Kurt and hissed, “Kurt, you know very well that is not the stage direction! This is good practice for when we are playing opposite each other so get your head in the game!” Kurt just looked at her with mock shame. Best to let her think he was sorry. 

Rachel cleared her throat. Before the song was to start, Rachel said, “I know, that's what makes me so nice!”

“Somebody PLEASE kill me now!” yelled Puck. Quinn gave him another smack but this time it was merely half-hearted. She was beginning to agree with Puck. 

Sue turned to Will and excused herself from the party claiming the baby was about to strangle herself on the umbilical cord in an attempt to escape this mockery of an American classic. “I feel her pain, Will. Can’t you do something about these kids?” Sue beseeched him. Will shrugged his shoulders. He was actually enjoying the performance.

Emma, on the other hand, looked horrified at Sue and asked if she need to call an ambulance. Sue assured no and got up from her chair as gracefully as someone of undeterminable months of pregnancy could and bid them farewell.  

“As much as I would enjoy Porcelain and Pint Size Lupone fighting over the lazy but incredibly sexy Fiyero, I must be leaving to, you know…have a life!” Realizing she just revealed her knowledge of the musical, she left with as much dignity as she could. As a parting shot, she called. “You know how it ends, right? Spoiler alert! She dies!!!” Will just shook his head, knowing what actually happens.

Rachel ignored them and started singing: 

“Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,
And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed.” 

“If you don’t shut the hell up, I’m going to make SOMEBODY bleed,” Santana called. “Remember the razors in my hair?”

Blaine figured it was time to put these two out of their misery. He ran down the stairs and said, “Woah, guys! Stop please!” Kurt looked relieved, but Rachel looked livid. This was not good Broadway etiquette! 

Blaine ran up to the two thespians and whispered, “Guys, this might not be the best time. I promise later this evening I’ll let you re-enact the entire show! I’ll even play Fiyero!” Blaine offering a compromise was the only way to keep this party from getting violent. Besides, it might be fun, although Blaine secretly wondered why he never got to play a lead. Maybe it was because Rachel always insisted on taking the starring role and never shared a part she perceived as hers. 

“Always the ball-hogger huh, Rachel Berry???” Blaine thought maliciously and felt some of those bitter feelings towards Rachel returning. If only she would stop pushing Kurt towards New York, Blaine could feel better about her but right now he didn’t like her very much.  

Kurt put his mouth to his boyfriend’s ear and whispered, “Thank you. You just saved my ass, but please play along.” Then he said loudly, “Blaine, it’s MY party and I can act if I want to!” Rachel looked pleased that her best friend had stood up for her.

“That is a great song,” interjected Brittany. Everyone just stopped what they were doing and looked at the small blonde. After a split second, they all shook their head and looked at the scene in front of them. Brittany’s bon mots got them every time!

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” said Blaine, putting his head down contritely. Might as well lay it on thick. “But if we don’t eat soon, the food will burn on the grill. Why don’t we just call this intermission.”

“And by intermission you mean never having to listen to these two sing this damn show again?” asked Santana. She looked over to Brittany and exclaimed, “Oh my god, I was thinking of living with these two!!”

“Not the time, Tana,” said Blaine.

“Fine, whatever! Let’s just put on some real music, cause if I have to listen to ‘Popular’ one more time, I think I’ll deafen myself with a fork!” Santana said, moving over to the iPod dock.

Rachel ignored Santana and called to everyone, “After refreshments, we’re going to do the second act, and Kurt and I will reverse our roles. So for those who aren’t following, I will be playing Elphaba, the tragically misunderstood witch, and Kurt will be playing Glinda, the flighty yet kind sorceress. Then we can show you how truly versatile we can be in our roles!”

Kurt knew he wasn’t going to get involved in that one. He subtly walked away and hid behind Blaine. Kurt could almost see the steam coming out of Santana’s ears. Blaine turned to Kurt and offered, “I could play Glinda for you.”  

“Are you nuts? I don’t know who would smack you down more, Rachel or Santana! No, Blaine. Trust me on this one. Stay out,” Kurt whispered fiercely into Blaine’s ear. 

Blaine shrugged his shoulders and pulled away from Kurt. So that’s what Miss High-and-Mighty Rachel thought of his acting, huh? Well, he could show her a thing or two about the craft. After all, he’d performed at theme parks and community theaters and Christmas spectaculars and well, lots of places! Rachel couldn’t hold a candle to all the places he had performed. Blaine was quite capable of playing any role in Wicked, and he knew it!  

He was certain Rachel didn’t want to act opposite him again as he had been better than her in West Side Story. That was it! Blaine wasn’t exactly thinking rationally at this point because his anger at Rachel was taking over his thought processes. Blaine went off on another tangent, ranting in his mind about the unfairness of Rachel getting to do what she wanted with Kurt and Blaine being left in the dust.

“Kurt was, first and foremost, my boyfriend. Not Rachel’s. No, my boyfriend! And the sooner she comprehends that, the better,” Blaine thought furiously. His thinking had turned a very disturbing corner, and he was determined to tell Rachel just what he thought of her once everyone had left. Blaine didn’t want to cause a scene, of course. 

Santana turned to Sam and Finn and yelled, “You boys best be holding me back, because I’m about to go all Lima Heights on some crazy hack actors over there!” She then started spouting enough Spanish profanities to make anyone blush. 

After everyone got their food and found a spot in the backyard to sit, Kurt and Blaine found a quiet corner of the yard with their food. Blaine debated talking about Rachel and his growing resentment of her with Kurt, but the opportunity wasn’t there.

Instead he stared in amazement at Kurt’s plate of food. 

Kurt had fixed a burger with two patties and double the cheese and put them on a white bread bun! Blaine was astonished. Kurt never ate hamburgers. The closest he ever came was just the patty with no bread, cheese or anything. He might add a small salad on the side and claim it was like eating a hamburger, but Blaine knew it wasn’t the real deal. 

“Thanks for bailing me out, Blaine,” Kurt said and took a big bite of his hamburger. He gave a moan of pleasure and added with his mouth full, “Why have I been depriving myself for so long?”

Blaine, with his country club etiquette, let out a grimace and said, “I don’t need to see your see-food diet, babe. That’s disgusting.”

Kurt looked confused at first, then gave a horrified look and put his hand over his mouth. He might have changed, but that was not a good reason for bad manners! He swallowed a bite and said, “Sorry, Blaine. It’s just sooo gooood! I can see why Dad likes them so much.”

Blaine was about to tell Kurt about the triple cheeseburger meal he had with Finn but thought better of it. It might be a good idea to ease him into junk food gently. “Just don’t eat these too much, you don’t want to end up in the hospital at 30,” Blaine joked.

Kurt gave him another look and Blaine realized he stuck his foot in his mouth yet again. “I swear I might as well shut up for the rest of the night and keep myself out of trouble,” said Blaine, shaking his head.

“It’s fine. But I think it’s time to register you for sensitivity training,” ribbed Kurt. Blaine choked on his food and Kurt laughed and passed him his soda.

Blaine was about to ask about the New York news when Rachel with Finn horned back in and Rachel asked first. “Okay, Hummel, spill,” she ordered. “I think you’ve kept us in suspense long enough!”

Blaine rolled his eyes and was about to tell her to get lost when Kurt chimed in. “Let me at least eat first!” Kurt exclaimed. At Rachel’s “do it now!” look, he said, “Fine!” and put down his hamburger. “Be right back, I need to go get the information,” he added, standing up and brushing the grass off his pants.

Blaine sent dagger eyes Rachel’s way. She was so damn bossy. Mentally he yelled at her, “Go away, Rachel! I don’t want you near Kurt! He’s mine, and I’m going to keep him here with me until we go to New York!” But Rachel, who was incredibly skilled and talented in many aspects, was not a mind reader. She totally ignored Blaine and carefully watched Kurt’s every move.  

Kurt made his way over to the patio table and grabbed the file folder that he was keeping with Carole. After having a few words with the adults — he had to be polite after all — he walked back to his friends. He sat back on the grass and passed over the folder.

“So Emma gave that to me,” Kurt said, pointing to the information packet. “Her cousin works for Fallen Angel Productions…”

“The one that does all those reality shows?” squealed Blaine. He clapped his hands together with glee. He watched his share of those guilty pleasures, so he was well aware of the company. Maybe this was a good thing, after all. 

“Exactly!” said Kurt, thrilled his boyfriend knew about the company. “Anyway, they are looking for interns to start this fall, after Halloween. Emma said that her cousin will forward my application to the hiring committee if I’m interested. I really think I want to do this. It’s not what I planned or expected, but it is an opportunity!”

“Kurt, that’s amazing!” cried Rachel, putting her food on the grass and flung herself at her best friend, knocking him over. “We can go apartment hunting this summer!” Blaine shot her an irritated look. He should be the one hugging Kurt, not her. 

“Rachel, not so fast. This is a long shot. You look for apartments with Finn, and we’ll figure something out if I get it,” Kurt said, laughing from the ground where he was knocked over by Rachel, and looked at Finn. He wasn’t sure, but it seemed like Finn had an uncomfortable look on his face. “In the meantime, I work at the school.” He looked at Blaine and said, “This is going to work out.”

Blaine looked at Kurt and his heart broke. He had to be happy for his boyfriend. Otherwise, he was just being selfish. “That’s great Kurt, really,” he said, faking a smile.

Kurt knew that tone. It was Blaine’s “I’m upset” tone. He remembered it all too well, from the Chandler incident, after Blaine sang that Whitney Houston song and slut-shamed Kurt. Kurt knew that he was putting all this information on Blaine, and it wasn’t fair. But Blaine should be pleased! If Kurt got this job, this would set the couple up for a new life in New York. It was what they both dreamed of. Blaine was confusing him. What was his problem?

“Blaine, are you okay? You’re looking a little green,” said Rachel with concern. Blaine was looking at nothing in particular, as if in another world. Rachel started worrying and touched Blaine’s arm.

All of a sudden Blaine flinched, refocused his eyes, and stood up. “I can’t do this. I gotta go,” he said and quickly started walking down the driveway to the front yard.

“Blaine, wait!” cried Kurt and jumped up to follow his boyfriend. Kurt realized he really should have talked to Blaine in private, so they could discuss their options in peace. He just didn’t understand why Blaine was so upset. They had worked out the long distance thing when he thought he was going to NYADA.

The rest of the gang looked on with curiosity and concern when they saw the look on Blaine’s face. They knew that face. Blaine was not happy. After the two men left the yard, their conversations turned to the scene they just witnessed.

Blaine pulled the keys out of his jeans and made his way to his car. “Where are you going?” asked Kurt. Blaine just ignored him and got in the car, turned on the gas, and pulled out of the driveway. “Blaine!” Kurt yelled in frustration. He started running after the car but realized Blaine was going too fast to catch up to it, and besides, Kurt wasn’t strong enough to stop the car anyway. Kurt raised his arms up quickly and slammed them down at his sides in an angry defeat. Blaine was already halfway down the street with no intention of stopping. Kurt raised his hand to his mouth to stop himself from crying. 

Kurt started to panic. Blaine finally did it. He left him because of his behavior. He was about to open the door to his own SUV when he heard Rachel calling.

“Kurt, wait! Where are you going?” she asked.

“Blaine took off. I need to follow him!” Kurt said frantically.

“I’m going with you,” said Rachel. She was worried about Blaine too. He was being so strong for Kurt. The look on Blaine’s face when he left the yard scared her. She hoped this wasn’t going to be a repeat of what happened to Kurt. Badass Blaine would be too surreal.

“Just stay here, Rach. I can handle this,” commanded Kurt. Rachel would just get in the way.

“Stop arguing with me and get in the damn SUV,” ordered Rachel, starting to feel some of the panic Kurt was projecting.

The two best friends jumped in the car, buckled up and tore out of the driveway. Rachel sent a text to Finn letting him know what was going on and asking him to entertain everyone until they got back.

“Where is he going?” asked Rachel as she looked up from her phone and saw Blaine’s car. He was driving erratically and she worried for her friend’s safety.

“I don’t know, but we can’t let him out of our sight!” said Kurt. He wanted to cry, but he had to concentrate on the road. They didn’t need an accident. He was losing Blaine. It finally happened.

They pursued Blaine for a bit, following behind at a safe distance. At one point they lost him, but Kurt knew where he was heading. “He’s going towards the school,” Kurt whispered.

“Dalton?” asked Rachel. She wasn’t really paying attention to Kurt, but watching out for Blaine’s car, so she didn’t recognize the route they were taking.

“No, McKinley, Berry! Pay attention!” Kurt almost yelled, reverting for a moment. He realized he was taking his worry out on the wrong person. “Sorry, Rachel,” he apologized and grabbed his friend’s hand. Rachel gave a reassuring squeeze in response.

Kurt had to talk about something, anything, to keep from freaking out. “Oh my god, what have I put him through these last few days? When I took off, all I was thinking about was the hurt. I didn’t even consider how it might affect anyone else. I’ve been so selfish,” he lamented. “So damn selfish!”

“Kurt, don’t,” comforted Rachel.

“No! Seriously, I’m as self-centered as I claimed you were! No wonder he wanted to leave! All I cared about was my happiness. Blaine is my partner in all of this, and I didn’t even consider him,” Kurt said and his eyes went wide. “Shit, this is NOT happening,” he said, breathing deep and trying to keep control. He lost the battle with his willpower and slammed his hand on the steering wheel. A honk blasted from the car. Luckily, there were no cars on the side street they were driving down. 

Rachel felt she had to do something. This was very quickly spiraling out of control, and she was empathizing with her best friend’s pain. “Kurt, just park the car here. We can walk. It’s only a couple blocks from the school. You aren’t in a state for driving right now anyhow,” she said gently.

Kurt didn’t respond, but he knew Rachel was right, so he pulled over at the next available parking spot. He wanted to get to Blaine as soon as possible, but he didn’t want to get into an accident either, or even worse, hit someone with the car.

Kurt got out of the car, locked it and set the alarm, and started walking quickly towards the school. He forgot all about Rachel. Blaine was the one he wanted to see right now.

“Kurt, just wait will you? Blaine isn’t going anywhere,” called Rachel. Kurt realized how crappy he was treating Rachel and stopped, waiting for her to catch up.

“You need to keep calm, Kurt,” said Rachel, touching his shoulder. “You know how your emotions are all messed up right now.”

“Instead of flying off the handle?” asked Kurt quietly, giving a small smile. He could never resist quoting Wicked, even when things were going to hell. His mind went back to their sing-off before that epic fight and remembered how Rachel said that line to him. At least it was calming him down.

“Exactly. Any issue in life can be solved by that amazing show,” informed Rachel, smiling. She had to distract Kurt. They also had to find Blaine. She grabbed his hand and threaded her fingers with his. “Come on, let’s get Blaine. How about we continue our show while we walk?”

“Okay,” said Kurt, resigned. And that is how they walked to the school, hand in hand and singing to distract themselves from worrying about Blaine.

***********

Blaine parked his car in the student parking lot and made his way to the gym. He noted a few cars in the lot. He might be in luck. He wasn’t sure if it would be open or not, but based on the amount of vehicles around him someone might have reserved it. The community often used the gym at the school as there weren’t too many amenities like it available in the area.

Blaine saw that the side door to the gym was open so he slipped inside. He debated whether to box or do laps at the track to release his frustrations. But first, he had to find somewhere to sit, because he was quickly starting to descend into a full-fledged panic attack. 

He hadn’t had a panic attack like this for several years. His therapist showed him deep breathing techniques when he felt the tightening in his chest. It wasn’t working this time, though. Blaine felt he knew what he was going to do. Knowing what to do next seemed to calm him down, or at least to keep him from wanting to pass out.

There was a basketball game going on in the gym. It looked like a student/faculty pick-up game. He spotted Coach Beiste and gave her a small wave. Coach Beiste was always nice to Blaine. She let him shower separately from the other guys. She thought it was because of Blaine’s homosexuality, but Blaine had other reasons. He had secrets he needed to hide. Blaine knew he was too small for most contact sports, but Beiste offered him opportunities in other arenas such as track and boxing. She’d even discussed with Blaine the possibility of heading up a team for a boxing group as the school lacked one for competition. Yes, he liked Coach a lot. She was one of the good guys at the school.  

Blaine gave a small nervous smile and gave a small wave while trying to breathe. He made his way around the gym and let himself out another side door to the central quad. This was Blaine’s favorite part of the school, and the site for some bittersweet scenes between him and Kurt. It seemed fitting to be there at the moment.

Blaine sat on the picnic table, put his head between his knees and tried to force himself to breathe deep. It wasn’t working. He started going over in his mind the last couple of hours spent with Kurt. Telling his boyfriend about his dad was a terrible idea. It just opened a can of scary worms he didn’t want opened. It also made him realize that he was going to be alone. Again. He thought the loneliness was all over when he met Kurt. He was convinced they were going to be together forever.

“Always the hopeless romantic, aren’t you Blaine?” he asked himself, his breath hitching. This self-torture was manifesting into chest pains.  

He had to be realistic. Kurt and Blaine would be together for the summer, then as soon as Kurt moved to New York, Blaine would be forgotten. Blaine knew this game. Everyone in his life was the same way. His parents. Cooper. Hell, half of the Warblers hardly ever talked to him anymore, although Sebastian probably had something to do with that. And when they grew apart, the New Directions would do the same and leave him alone at McKinley.

Finally, the tight band surrounding his lungs began to loosen, at least a little bit. He was able to take several deep breaths.

“How could he do this to me?” asked Blaine. He wasn’t thinking rationally anymore. In his mind, he was convinced that Kurt was going to dump him and find a new man the second he got to New York. “After everything I’ve done for you. Goddammit, Kurt, I hate you!” he exclaimed. He gasped and put his hand to his mouth, realizing what he just said. He didn’t hate Kurt. That was the problem. It would be easier if he did. All of a sudden he started sobbing again, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever stop.

**********

Kurt and Rachel finally arrived at the school to find the doors locked. They saw Blaine’s car in the student lot but didn’t see the curly-haired man.

“Shit!” yelled Kurt, pounding on the door. “Where in the hell did he go?”

“Kurt, your face is looking like a tomato again. You might want to calm down that blood pressure,” informed Rachel as she looked around. She spied the gym door and grabbed her best friend’s arm and pointed to the opening. “Kurt, over there! I bet he went into the gym.”

“Good eyes, Rach,” Kurt praised as he started running to the door. They made their way inside and noticed a game going on. They were almost around the gym and were about to enter the school proper when the players realized who entered the gym and the changes he had undergone. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared.

Kurt stopped and stared back, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” he said sarcastically.

“Looking good, Hummel!” said Brian Smith, one of the students. He was never mean to Kurt but was stunned by his transformation. Kurt looked like he was about to kick someone’s ass. 

“Not the time, Brian!” called back Kurt. “Has anyone seen Blaine come through here?”

“Yeah, he came through here a few minutes ago. He’s at the steps outside,” responded Brian. “Is he okay? It looks like he was wigging about something.”

Kurt ignored the boy. “Thanks,” he said, giving a wave. Rachel stayed silent, which was a rarity for her, and followed Kurt. The students resumed their game but talked about Kurt once he left the gym. It seemed people really DO change after graduation.

*********

Blaine had his head in his hands, trying to make sense out of everything when he heard a voice yell, “Blaine!” He looked up to see Kurt hurrying towards him with Rachel following behind. He jumped up and started making his way up the stairs and away from Kurt. He couldn’t do this right now.

Kurt looked at his boyfriend, confused. What was Blaine doing? “Blaine, where are you going?  Don’t run off. We need to talk about this,” he said with a panicked voice.

Blaine stopped running up the stairs and spun on Kurt, saying while pointing to Rachel, “Why bother? Your girlfriend is there with you, and you know how she can’t keep her nose out of it. We all know how you’re choosing her over me.”

Rachel gasped! Is this what Blaine thought of her?

Kurt took a step back. What in the hell was wrong with Blaine? He had never shown any sort of jealously in Kurt’s friendship with Rachel. He put his hands on his hips and stared back, but inside he had a rubbery feeling of panic. “Blaine, stop being stupid. Now come down here so we can talk about this, please?”

“Why should I?” asked Blaine, his chin coming up, almost daring Kurt to come get him. It was a childish stance but Blaine didn’t feel very adult right now.  

Rachel stepped up to Kurt’s back and whispered, “You two need to be alone. I’ll meet you back at the car.” Kurt nodded and handed Rachel his keys so she could use the radio and AC.

As Rachel was about to walk away, Blaine began taunting her, calling, “Hey Rachel, make sure you enjoy my ex-boyfriend in New York! You win! Do you understand, Rachel Berry? Does it make you feel good inside knowing you stole him away from me? YOU WIN!” The last two words were screamed, and a couple of the students looked out the gym door to make sure everything was okay. When they saw there was no violence, they shrugged their shoulders and continued with the game.

Rachel turned and looked at Blaine with hurt eyes. All of a sudden she burst into tears and ran back to the gym.

Blaine gave a bitter smirk and said sarcastically, “I’m sure she’ll use this as an excuse to sing some stupid song.” He looked at Kurt, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs, and said, “I gotta go.” He didn’t mean to say “ex” but it just came out, and he refused to back down now.

Kurt looked back, stunned. Did Blaine just call him an ex-boyfriend? “Blaine, did you just call me an ex?” he asked with tears in his eyes.

“So what if I did?” Blaine asked, shrugging his shoulders. Those walls he so desperately spent several years tearing down were starting to rapidly build again. “Might as well cut ties now. Seems you’ve made your choice. Her over me. I’m glad you’re leaving. Good riddance!”

“We haven’t even talked about whether I was going to do this!” exclaimed Kurt. “Blaine, I’m surprised at you! You know that I’m absolutely head over heels in love with you! Nothing could ever come between you and me. Blaine, you’re my soulmate! Why would you say those mean things to me?”

Blaine had to protect himself, because things were going to start really sucking. “Then why are you leaving me for Rachel?” he asked. He knew he was being ridiculous, but it was the only way to deal with the rising panic and rage he was feeling.

Kurt was starting to get frustrated. “I’m not leaving you for anyone!” he practically screamed. He stopped, took a couple deep breaths, and continued, “I already said it was a long shot. Blaine, think about it for a second. What is…what?...7 months apart over the rest of our lives? Even then we can visit each other all the time. Just calm down and think.”

Kurt recognized he shouldn’t have told Blaine to calm down and think, at least in that way, because Blaine’s eyes flashed. “I really have to go, Kurt,” he said and started to walk back up the stairs.

Kurt had to do something to stop Blaine. “Blaine, you’re being a hypocrite! You spent the last three days telling me not to run away from everything, and now you’re doing the exact same thing! I know I deserve everything I get! I deserve you leaving me, but I also deserve an explanation. So before you go, can you at least give me that?”

Once again Blaine stopped on the stairs and slowly turned around. Tears were streaming down his face. Kurt expected him to look upset but discovered Blaine's eyes were full of anger.  

Blaine walked down the stairs and said, “Fine, please sit at the picnic table. I’ll give you a few more minutes, and then it’s over. I can’t do this anymore, Kurt. I’ve reached my breaking point.”

Kurt started shaking but nodded his assent. He sat on one of the benches at the picnic tables. Blaine sat on the table and thought about taking Kurt’s hand but changed his mind. Touching Kurt would just make things more difficult. Refusing to look into Kurt’s eyes, Blaine looked at the gym door and began to sing:

“There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.”

Kurt shook his head. This wasn’t happening. He was going to ask Blaine to marry him, eventually! Maybe sooner than later if everything worked out. He tried to get Blaine to look at him, but he refused. Blaine just continued singing:

“There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.”

All of a sudden Blaine jumped off the table. Kurt tried to grab for him, but Blaine pushed his arms away. He stared at his ex-boyfriend and started singing angrily:

“And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for!
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...”

Blaine started calming down. The time was almost here. He had to be calm, because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be able to leave. He touched Kurt on the shoulder and finished singing:

“There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.”

“Why, Blaine?” sobbed Kurt.

“I just don’t have the strength for us anymore,” said Blaine, who was also sobbing. “I really need to go. Just give me some time. I’ll call you.” He touched Kurt’s face and walked away.

“Blaine?” asked Kurt.

Blaine stopped but didn’t turn around and said, “Yes, Kurt?”

“Remember, I do love you. And all you need is courage,” Kurt whispered. “We will find our way to one another, I promise.”

“We’ll see,” said Blaine simply. It wasn’t mean. It was just a fact. With tears streaming down his face, Blaine walked out of Kurt’s life.

Kurt sat on the bench, put his hand over his mouth and started sobbing anew. He sat there crying for over a half hour then texted Rachel to come get him. He couldn’t be alone right now.

Blaine watched Kurt from the shadows. He wanted to forget everything he just said and run to his soulmate. It just wasn’t possible anymore. Blaine had to let Kurt go. He pulled out his phone, dialed a number and said, “Hello? It’s Blaine. I need somewhere to go.” After talking for a minute or two, he hung up and made his way to his car. Blaine thought he might have found the right place to go for comfort. 

********

A/N: Ahhh the creys! This chapter just about ripped my heart right out of my chest. It was inspired when Chris and Darren said they want drama and speedbumps, and it was written quite a while ago. Well, there you go Misters Colfer and Criss, more drama than you can shake a stick at! Don’t worry though, guys. I’m a chronic Klainer. It will be alright. Song is It’s a Fine, Fine Line from the Avenue Q broadway show.