Cruel Summer Chapter 22 - I Will Carry You

Word Count: 6,973/189,000

Rating: PG-13

Summary: After Kurt was rejected from NYADA, we were dying to find out what happened next. We couldn't wait for the September premiere. Here is our take of what happened from the letter opening and beyond.

Author's Note: Happy Friday! Well guys, this marks the very first chapter where I am completely on my own. That includes no beta as Wayne is away for a bit. However, I took two years of business English, so I think I’ll be fine. I sure do miss my teammates, though! Not much to say about this chapter, especially since the drama fest of the last one. Writing this story is keeping me from going hiatus insane, really. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimers: KurtsieKalanai doesn’t own Glee. If I did, I’d be touring with the cast this summer. Second, I don’t own the songs in the fic. I use songs like the show but they fit into the story. Songs will be explained at the end of chapter. Third, this is AU so things do not work EXACTLY like canon.

Thanks: Even though he is away this chapter, thanks to the wonderful Wayne Kotke and Gleekast. Seriously, people, go listen to the podcast. They rock! As usual thanks to cast, crew, RIB, Chris, Darren my cat, the birds outside….just kidding. :P Also, thanks to my loyal readers. Love you all!

*****

Kurt was starting to get worried. A few hours had passed, and he still hadn't heard from Blaine. He spent his time efficiently by completely organizing his closet with Rachel and Sam’s help, and he even got dressed in some of his old clothes. They felt a little alien to him now, like they didn’t belong to him. Maybe the clothes felt like some sort of costume, like he was getting ready for a masquerade ball. But he had to look good for his date, and this was his only option for now.

It was a very simple outfit, especially considering some of the crazy things he used to wear. It really was a bridge of his old and new look. Understated and uncomplicated yet trendy and stylish. He had some black leather pants that he hadn’t worn in a while and added a simple white shirt and black tie. He didn’t feel like doing anything crazy with his hair, so he made sure it stayed in place with a little bit of gel – no spikes this time – and added a fedora for some flair. He let just a tiny bit of fashionista Kurt shine through. Just a little bit, though. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to what he would forever call “The Old Kurt.”

Rachel came in the room carrying some of Kurt’s belongings from the basement. This was the stuff he didn’t destroy, but planned on throwing out, like pictures, certificates, and some stuffed animals from his childhood that he couldn’t bear to get rid of until his first meltdown. “Hey, Kurt, look what I found! We can start decorating your room again!” she said and put the box down on the bed. She saw Kurt looking at himself in the mirror and exclaimed, “Look at you, hot stuff! Big date tonight?”

“You know that Blaine is taking me out! I’ve only told you about 27 times!” Kurt exaggerated, turning to Rachel and smiling. “This feels so weird. I feel totally overdressed. I miss my jeans,” he whined and sat on the bed heavily. “I’m totally pathetic, aren’t I?”

“Of course not!” Rachel responded mischievously. “Not totally pathetic. Just a little bit pathetic,” she added with a smirk, holding her thumb and index finger in front of her face about an inch apart.

“Rachel!” Kurt exclaimed and gave her a withering look. “You can be such a bitch sometimes!”

“I’m teasing!” Rachel said, putting her hands up in surrender. “Sheesh, Kurt. You’re a bit cranky today. Is it that time of the month?”

Kurt realized with a frown that he wasn’t being fair to his best friend. “Sorry, Rach. My mind is a bit preoccupied,” he said as he pulled out his phone. He checked for messages. Nothing. The only thing he got all day was a text from Santana asking if he was free the next day for a mall date. Unfortunately, since he had to work at the shop at the crack of dawn, the date would have to wait until the following evening.

He sighed and stuffed his phone back in his pocket, which was difficult because of the leather pants. “These are too damn tight,” Kurt thought to himself. “How did I wear stuff like this?”

“What’s on your mind?” Rachel asked, sitting on the bed beside Kurt.

“Have you heard from Blaine? He’s usually so prompt in texting me back. I’ve tried calling him and texting him, and I still haven’t gotten an answer. It’s been hours since his last text,” Kurt explained and checked the time on his phone. “There’s something else. I’m having a really creepy bad feeling about things, like something happened to him. I hope he didn’t change his mind about me.”

“Stop being so insecure! I guarantee he hasn’t changed his mind,” Rachel said as she took her phone out to check her messages and shook her head. “Sorry, nothing from Blaine. Want me to try calling him?” 

“No sense,” Kurt responded as he stood up and walked to the window. It was still raining pretty hard, but the thunder and lightning had stopped. “I hope he didn’t get into an accident in the storm. I just can’t shake this feeling of foreboding.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Rachel assured as she joined Kurt at the window. She put her hand on Kurt’s back and noticed he was shaking. “Kurt, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. I’m scared and I’m starting to freak out a little,” Kurt said, his voice starting to crack. “I know it’s irrational, but Rachel, something has happened to him.” 

Rachel looked at Kurt and saw the panic in his eyes. She put her arms around him and said, “Come on, Kurt. Calm down. Please?” He put his arms around her tightly, put his head on her shoulder and tried to stay calm. 

“Why do I feel like I’m losing my mind?” he asked desperately.

Rachel didn’t understand why Kurt was acting this way, but she knew he wasn’t crazy. If he felt something was wrong, then something was definitely wrong. “I wish I could tell you,” she said and pulled away. “Maybe you should talk to your dad about it.”

“Maybe,” Kurt said distractedly. “There’s a reason I think something happened to Blaine, but I can’t say anything and it’s killing me.” He couldn’t tell Rachel what he thought it was. It wasn’t his secret to tell. All of a sudden, he knew exactly what was wrong. Blaine was in big trouble!

“Kurt, is Blaine in any danger?” Rachel asked, starting to empathize with Kurt’s distress. “He told me there was some bad stuff going on at home, but he didn’t say what exactly.” She was starting to panic a bit, feeding off of Kurt’s aggravated state.

“I don’t know!” Kurt said frantically and started to pace. He stopped and took a couple deep breaths to calm down. “Maybe I should talk to Dad. Besides, I need to talk to him about our fight earlier. I’m still a little pissed off at him,” he added and took off his fedora, putting it on his dresser. “I also know he’s right, which pisses me off even more. I need to be an adult and talk to him rationally. He needs to see why I acted out; that I wasn’t being a brat.”

“That’s a really good idea. I can talk to him if you want me to. I saw what happened to you. I can be, you know, like a character witness!” Rachel offered. At least Kurt’s shaking had stopped, but he had wide eyes and still looked upset. 

“I’m not on trial! I can talk to Dad myself, but thanks, sweetie,” Kurt said sincerely. 

“I’m going down to help Carole make dinner for tonight. I’m in charge of the vegetarian side dish!” Rachel said proudly. “I’m thinking a nice vegetable medley.”

Kurt knew that Rachel couldn’t cook to save her life. She had almost set her kitchen on fire several times to Kurt and Blaine’s amusement. It was just easier to either get take-out when they were hanging, or have Kurt or Blaine cook. He made a mental note to avoid any vegetarian dish that might be served. If he could get in touch with Blaine, they would probably go out anyway. “Thanks for letting me vent,” he said and forced a smile. “I’ll come help when I finish talking to Dad.”

Rachel put her hand on Kurt’s arm and said, “Don’t worry, Kurt. Everything is going to be fine. He probably just got delayed, or maybe his mom gave him more stuff to do.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” Kurt said, realizing he was being silly. He still couldn’t shake the wiggins he was feeling, but he had stuff to do, and worrying just wasn’t productive. If Blaine didn’t call by dinnertime, he would tell his dad.

He followed Rachel downstairs and found his dad still watching the game with the boys. Or watching another game, Kurt wasn’t sure. Even though he was the new-and-improved Kurt, he still didn’t care for sports. He found it slightly barbaric, but he didn’t begrudge the men in the family some male bonding time. At least video games weren’t real.

Kurt walked up to Burt, who was sitting in his easy chair, and asked quietly, “Hey, Dad, can we go out back and chat? Or should I come back after the game?” 

Burt looked up to his son and responded, “Nah, that’s fine. Our team is getting slaughtered anyhow. It’s all but over.” He stood up and observed, “I see you have some of your old clothes on. Decide to change back? Kurt, you’re confusing the hell out of me here.”

“I have a date with Blaine. Well, I’m supposed to have a date, but I haven’t heard from him.” Kurt didn’t want to talk in front of everyone again so he added, “Let’s just talk out back on the porch, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Burt answered. “Guys, I’ll be back in a bit. Keep an eye on the score for me, will ya?” he said to the boys watching the game. 

Finn looked back and nodded. He then looked at Kurt as if to say, “I’m there for you, dude.”

Carole and Rachel were in the kitchen, having some tea and avoiding the game, talking about possibly doing an evening shopping trip with or without Kurt, depending on his plans. When Rachel saw her best friend enter the room, her face lit up as she asked, “Kurt! Are you okay?”

“Rachel, you worry too much! I’m fine,” he said as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “Just going to go have a chat with Dad.” He looked at his father. “Do you want a beer or something?”

“I’m good,” Burt grumbled. His doctor had advised him not to drink more than a can or two of beer a day, and he had already hit that limit while watching the game. Kurt shrugged and followed Burt outside. They both took a chair and Burt continued, “You know you didn’t have to stay in your room. I told you that you weren’t grounded.”

“I know,” Kurt responded, looking at the large maple tree in the backyard. “I guess I just wanted to think about what you said. I also wanted to calm down so we could have an adult conversation without all that immature screaming. Dad, I’ve been pretty messed up lately, and I don’t like it.”

“Kurt, what exactly happened this week?” Burt asked and squeezed his son’s arm gently. “I’m not going to lie when I say I was ready to kick your ass when I first saw that video at the bar. Then your mom told me you trashed your room and threw out your belongings? This isn’t like you at all!”

Kurt shook his head, ashamed that he had upset his father, “I’m still trying to figure everything out. I don’t know. I got the rejection letter and I just… snapped. All I thought about was being stuck in Lima and having to live my life as someone I wasn’t. I figured if I had to stay here, I would change myself so I would fit in. I didn’t really see any other option. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Oh, Kurt…” Burt said, looking at Kurt with sad eyes.

“I realize I’m a dumbass,” Kurt interrupted. “I know Lima is good for you, but I don’t belong here, Dad! I never have!” Burt just nodded in agreement. “Have you ever had the feeling that you just HAD to try something, to see if that was what you were searching for?”

“I have,” Burt said simply.

“Really?” Kurt asked.

“You know that I love Elizabeth with all my heart, right?” Burt asked. Kurt nodded so he continued, “When I first met Carole, I was terrified to ask her out. I was scared I would hurt you, or I would lose her, too. But something inside told me to go for it, you know?”

“I completely understand, Dad. You were scared of insulting Mom’s memory. Elizabeth, I mean. But I’m so glad you went for it, because if you didn’t we wouldn’t have this awesome new family,” Kurt explained. Burt looked at his son and gave a nod, tears forming in his eyes. “Look, I know I’ve been an asshole, but I just want you to know that it’s all over now. I’ve had my week of rebellion, which sucked by the way, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt everyone. Poor Blaine…” His voice trailed off and he got lost in his thoughts.

“Kurt, I know things are really confusing right now. And I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you out. I promise we’ll figure this out, as a family. Will you forgive me for going off the deep end? I should have found out some more information before I went all tough love with you,” Burt asked, grabbing Kurt’s hand. He wasn’t usually all touchy-feely, but with his son he didn’t mind at all.

“As long as you can forgive me for messing up my room. I promise I’ll pay for any repairs,” Kurt assured. “And I don’t mind selling the SUV. Besides, if I go to New York, owning a car would be too expensive anyway. Have you seen parking rates in that city??” His father laughed and Kurt continued, “You were right when you said it was time for me to be an adult. I might slip from time to time, but I’m sure you’ll remind me and put me on the right path.”

“Bud, I can’t tell you what to do anymore. That part of my life is over. But I can be there to support you and give advice when you ask it. All I request is that you don’t lose who you really are. It’s fine to change your clothes, but just don’t lose the real Kurt. We all love you for who you are, and if people judge you for that, then screw ‘em!”

“So are we good?” Kurt asked, standing up and feeling much better now that he had this heart to heart with his father.

“We were never bad, Kurt,” Burt responded. “I promise you, I do what I do because I love you. It might look like I’m punishing you right now, but you’ll look back and thank me. My dad didn’t really care about what I did, and I had to learn everything by myself. I don’t want to do that with you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt said with a smile. He gave Burt a tight hug. “I promise I’ll make you proud, even if it’s changing oil every day.”

“Well, you prove yourself, and I’ll put you in the office with Blaine this summer,” Burt offered. “I know working sucks, but you’re going to love all the extra money you have, even though you need to budget a bit of it.”

“Losing that credit card is the only thing that might kill me,” Kurt said half-jokingly.

“If you promise to pay back every cent you spent this past week, I’ll get you another card to hold you over till you get your own, okay?” Burt said. “But I’m putting a limit on it, and if I see you’re using it irresponsibly, I’ll take it away for good.”

“That’s more than fair, Dad. You better get back to that game,” Kurt said, playing with his tie nervously. “Maybe the kicker saved the game!” Kurt remembered his very short time as a kicker on the McKinley Titans in sophomore year, but could barely remember the rules of football. Something about sacking the scrimmage or something like that. All he had to worry about was kicking the ball over the pole thingies so he didn’t care about the rest of it. Besides, he only auditioned for the football team for his dad.

“Not all kickers are like the one and only Kurt Hummel,” Burt teased. He was so proud of his son when Kurt scored the winning point for a usually losing football team. “Why don’t you come join us? I know football’s not your thing, but we were thinking of going out for a burger after. Dinner isn’t for a few more hours.”

They went back inside and found Rachel and Carole prepping the evening meal and talking happily about anything and everything. Rachel was mostly talking about New York (when wasn’t she?) and Carole was listening politely. Kurt kissed both ladies on the cheek and walked with his father to the hallway.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to pass this time,” Kurt responded. He leaned in and whispered. “I have to keep Rachel from ruining the veggies for dinner. You’ll thank me later, trust me.”

“Did you want me to make you some toast or something?” Burt asked.

Kurt stopped walking and stared at his father while inquiring, “Dad, how come you always offer to make me toast after we have those uncomfortable talks?”

Burt shrugged and answered, “That’s what Dad used to do for me. It is kinda weird, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. I appreciate the offer, though,” Kurt said and chuckled while he shook his head.

“Well, maybe next time,” Burt said, laughing. “Have fun.”

“Thanks,” Kurt said and returned to the kitchen and put on an apron. He moved to the counter, picked up a knife and ordered, “Okay ladies, move over and let the expert cook.”

“Oh, please! All you can cook is soufflés and cupcakes,” Rachel teased. She knew Kurt was a whiz in the kitchen, but she wanted to cheer him up by ribbing him. He was the only one who understood her weird sense of humor. Well, maybe Blaine appreciated it now, who knew?

Kurt stopped what he was doing, slowly turned to Rachel and put his hands on his hips. Other than the black hair, this was the closest Kurt looked to his old self in almost a week. “Rachel Berry, are you issuing a cooking challenge? ‘Cause we all know I would mop the floor with you!” he exclaimed with a wicked smile.

“Yes, yes you would,” Rachel said simply. She knew exactly who the Iron Chef around here was.

Kurt laughed and started cutting up the vegetables for dinner. However, in the back of his mind, he still had an unnerving feeling about things. It scared him as he had never had feelings like this before. “Is this what being psychic was like? No, it couldn’t be anything like that! Psychics were all smoke and mirrors, after all,” he mused to himself. He chopped in silence while the ladies talked some more about New York.

After a few minutes he couldn’t take this feeling of doom anymore and asked, “Will you guys excuse me? I need to go talk to Dad for a minute.” He took off his apron and went back into the living room. The game had just finished and the three men were about to leave for burgers.

“Dad, can I talk to you for a minute before you leave?” Kurt asked. Burt nodded and went into the hall, waving Sam and Finn to the car to wait for him.

“Kurt, are you okay? You look paler than usual,” Burt inquired, putting his hand on Kurt’s shoulder.

“Okay, I’m supposed to be an adult, right? Is asking for help an adult thing to do?” Kurt asked nervously.

“That’s one of the most adult things to do, son,” Burt explained. “Sometimes you can’t solve a problem, so you need to ask for help. That’s being responsible.”

“Then I’m asking for help. Well, advice really. I’m worried about Blaine. He texted me a few hours ago then never texted me again after I asked him something. You know how enthusiastic he is about responding to texts immediately. About an hour ago, I got a really, really bad feeling that something happened,” Kurt said, starting to panic again. “I always thought I was a pretty sane guy, but this is starting to freak me out.”

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Is there a reason you’re so worried about him?” Burt asked with concern for his son. Kurt looked scared to death. Although he could be a bit of a drama queen, he had a pretty stable head on his shoulders. Well, until recently, at least.

Kurt put his hand through his short hair as he exclaimed, “God, why is this so hard? I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone. But Blaine might get hurt. Dad, what do I do?” He started shaking again, this time with fear and indecision.

Burt put his hand on Kurt’s arms and gave a gentle shake because his son was starting to get frantic. “Kurt, who’s going to hurt Blaine? Sometimes you might promise to keep a secret, then have to tell it to someone you trust to help them. Can you tell me?”

“This goes completely against my better judgement, but I guess I have to,” Kurt conceded. “It’s his dad. He…” He was interrupted by his phone vibrating. “Oh, thank god. That might be Blaine,” he added, pulling the phone out of his pocket. He opened the message.

Help…Dad…it hurts.

Kurt put his hand to his mouth and sat down on the floor. “No!” he shouted and started to cry. “This can’t be happening! Blaine! My dear, sweet Blaine!!” 

Burt kneeled down to his distraught son, and Rachel and Carole joined them in the hall. Rachel ran to her best friend and sat on the floor, holding him and trying to calm him down. 

“Kurt, what is it? Let me help you,” Burt offered. Kurt passed the phone up to his father and put his arms around Rachel, sobbing. Rachel looked at the two adults with worry.

Burt read the message and his face switched from concern to extreme anger and passed the phone to Carole. She read the message and looked anxious as she passed back the phone to her husband. “Kurt, you need to calm down and tell me what’s going on right now. I think I have to insist,” he said. “If Blaine is in danger, I need to know so I can help.”

“Why would somebody’s father do that?” Kurt sobbed. “Blaine is his own son! His flesh and blood! God, I want to kill him!” Rachel stood up and helped Kurt to his feet. “We need to find him, now!”

“Kurt, we will. You just need to tell me what’s going on,” Burt said, getting frustrated because Kurt wasn’t making any sense.

Finn and Sam came back into the house because they could hear Kurt yelling. After seeing his brother losing it again, Finn walked over to where they were standing and asked, “Dude, are you alright? I could hear you outside.”

“Blaine’s dad beats him! And I don’t mean spanking beatings. I mean whipping beatings, and I think he’s done worse!” Kurt cried. “I think this one was really bad. Blaine would’ve texted me otherwise.” He reached for his phone and his father passed it back. He tried calling but there was no answer. “He’s not picking up! I need to get over there right now.” 

Kurt turned to Burt and said, “Look, Dad, I know you’re trying to teach me a lesson, and believe me, the lesson is learned, but I need my licence back. ‘Cause I’m taking the SUV, licence or not.”

Burt reached back for his wallet, pulled out Kurt’s licence and passed it back to his son. “Thank you for telling me,” he said. His eyes hardened as he added, “You won’t need to kill Blaine’s father, because I will!” 

Burt put his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and promised, “We’ll find him.” He looked at his family members in turn, giving them instructions. “Finn and Sam, can you stay here and call everyone to stand by in case we need to search? Kurt and I will go to the Anderson’s to see if he’s there. Carole, can you get the place ready for a crowd?” All three nodded and went to their assigned tasks.

Rachel spoke up, feeling a bit left out. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go with you gentlemen. Kurt needs someone for moral support, and Blaine is my best friend. I couldn’t bear waiting here wondering what’s going on,” she informed. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Thanks, Rach,” Kurt whispered. “Okay, let’s go. I’ll drive since I know where Blaine lives.” He grabbed Rachel’s hand and rushed out into the rain to his SUV. Burt followed with an umbrella.

As they got in the car, Rachel asked from the back seat, “Kurt, why didn’t you tell me? We might have been able to help him!” She didn’t understand why Kurt would have kept something so major from her.

“It’s called keeping a secret for a reason!” Kurt snapped. He shook his head and apologized, “Sorry again, Rach. I don’t mean to treat you like an emotional punching bag. I’m just really scared and worried for Blaine. I can’t lose him.” He wiped his eyes. “Thanks for being there for me, both of you.”

“I assure you, Kurt, Blaine’s father is not going to get away with this,” Burt growled. “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he’s punished.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just get to Blaine’s house,” Rachel said, putting her hand on Kurt’s shoulder from behind and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Why do I feel like I’ve spent most of this week either running away or chasing people in this car?” Kurt asked, trying to distract himself.

On the way to Blaine’s house, Kurt didn’t talk. He was trying to keep his temper in check. He noted with a bitter chuckle that he inherited his father’s temper after all. He was also mentally kicking himself for not talking to anyone about Blaine’s issues before. But he promised Blaine he wouldn’t, and he took his promises very seriously. Well, that promise just might make him lose his soulmate forever. If they were too late, Blaine wasn’t coming back... ever. That was something Kurt refused to fathom.

When they got to Blaine’s expansive house, Kurt was dismayed to see that all the lights were out, except for the front door, and there were no cars in the driveway. Kurt got out of the car and ran to the large double entrance, with Burt and Rachel rushing behind. He rang the bell and pounded on the door. Any sense of propriety had disappeared because he was beyond pissed. He was going to hurt Mr. Anderson, consequences be damned. He checked the knob to see it was firmly locked. They stood under an overhang, so the rain didn’t get them very wet. Water still dripped from the eaves, though, falling in their eyes.

“Shit!” Kurt shouted, kicking the door. “Nobody’s home. Blaine usually parks his car in the driveway.” He was about to wipe the rain from his eyes when he noticed something dark on the palm of his hand. He looked at the discoloration under the light and gave a gasp. “Oh my god! This is blood! Dad, he was bleeding!” He looked at his father with panicked eyes. He wiped his hands on his pants and started pacing.

Suddenly he sat on the front stair and put his head in his hands. “That’s it. I can’t take this anymore. This week has been too much,” he sobbed. “I’m trying to be strong, but I just can’t do it. I’ve lost just about everything that has ever meant anything to me.” 

Rachel sat down beside him and grabbed his hand. “Come on, Kurt. We’ll find him.”

“You’re damn right we will,” Burt said and pulled out his phone. “Kurt and Rachel, you wait there. I’m calling the police.”

Kurt continued sobbing as he hiccupped, “I lost NYADA, I lost New Directions, I lost my parents to Washington, I lost my identity, I’m losing you and Finn to New York and now I might be losing Blaine. I think the only thing that’s left to lose is my sanity. Even that feels like it’s starting to slip away.”

“It’s killing me that I don’t know what to say,” Rachel said, trying to soothe Kurt. “Maybe it’s because I’m freaking out, too. This is our Blainers we’re talking about! I never thought I’d see something like this happen to any of our friends.” She turned to Kurt and said, “There’s this song that Daddy used to sing to me when I was really upset. Can I sing it to you? It’ll make me feel better about this whole big mess.”

“I love you, Rachel, but not every situation calls for sing along time with New Directions featuring Rachel Berry,” Kurt said sarcastically, wiping at his eyes. He sighed as he added, “But if you insist, I won’t protest. You know how much I love a Rachel Berry song.”

Rachel smiled at Kurt, not because he paid her a compliment, but because they understood each other so completely. Singing made them both feel better. It was as simple as that. This was the way they were able to cope with the three years of hell at McKinley. 

As Kurt was wringing his hands, trying to keep his cool, Rachel sang:

“Yeah, I know it hurts. Yeah, I know you're scared.
Walking down the road that leads to who-knows-where.
Don't'cha hang your head. Don't'cha give up yet.
When courage starts to disappear I will be right here.”

“When your world breaks down.
And the voices tell you, "Turn around."
When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you.
When the stars go blind.
And the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're fallin' behind I will carry you.”

If Kurt couldn’t be strong, then Rachel would have to be strong for him. Kurt looked at Rachel, his anger and worry fading. His eyes were shining, but he wasn’t crying anymore. He stood up and put his hand down to help Rachel stand up. He knew this song. It was one of his guilty pleasures to listen to old American Idol contestants, so he had a playlist full of songs by Clay Aiken when he was wanted some easy listening. Although his voice was shaky, he sang the next verse:

“Everybody cries. Everybody bleeds.
No one ever said that life's an easy thing.
That's the beauty of it when you lose your way.
Close your eyes and go to sleep.
Wake up to another day.”

Rachel smiled, pleased that Kurt knew the song. It really helped her when she was down during her separation from Finn in junior year. She also noticed the singing was distracting Kurt, and he was starting to visibly calm down. They started walking to the car in the rain, singing the last chorus together:

“When your world breaks down.
And the voices tell you, "Turn around."
When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you.
When the stars go blind.
And the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're fallin' behind I will carry you.”

When they got to the car, Rachel turned to Kurt and took the last bridge of the song:

“You should know now that you're not alone.
Take my heart and we will find, you will find,
Your way home!”

“How do you do it, Rachel?” Kurt asked, opening the back door to the SUV.

“Do what?” Rachel inquired.

“When I’m in the depths of despair, without any hope at all, you can make me feel better with that angelic voice of yours?” he responded. “I’m still scared to death, but I feel calmer.”

“Kurt, that has to be the nicest thing you have ever said to me!” Rachel said, smiling through her tears. She gave Kurt a tight hug before she got in the car and he closed the door. He went to the driver’s side and got in beside his father, who was just getting off the phone.

“That was your mother. They called as many of your friends they could and they’re all going to go out to look for Blaine. Will and Emma will be meeting us back at the house,” Burt informed. “I’m just about to call the police. We’ll find Blaine, and when I get a hold of Mr. Anderson I’m going to throttle him!”

“Let’s just go home, Dad,” Kurt said quietly. All of the fight had been taken out of him. He just wanted to be surrounded by the people he loved, but he wouldn’t rest until he found his boyfriend.

Burt made a quick call to the police and explained the situation, promising to call again when he had more information. They drove back to the house with Kurt and Rachel making small talk, trying to get their minds off the situation. Burt, however, was stewing in his silence. He was trying to make sense of everything. He knew physical abuse happened, but he would never understand how a parent could beat his kid like that. There was nothing that Kurt or Finn might do that would make Burt hit his sons in anger. 

Burt was also trying to plan his next move. He had to be careful, because everything he did was watched by the public. Unfortunately, a congressman’s life was no longer private. He had to do this legally, and that meant keeping his temper in check.

*******

Santana was distracted. She was driving home from Brittany’s and was still pondering the direction her life was taking. She really appreciated the conversation she had with Kurt the night before, and she was looking forward another shopping date with him. At least she had a month or two to make a concrete decision. In the meantime, she was going to try to enjoy the summer with her friends. Maybe she would ask Kurt about that part-time job. A little extra money was always a good thing. She would use the funds to grow her sizable savings account.

Even though it was raining, Santana enjoyed driving. What she loved more was blasting her music on her stereo and singing along as loud as she could while driving alone. She could just let go and not worry about what anyone thought of her voice. She knew she was hot stuff – that was common knowledge, really – but a little part of her was insecure about her singing. She didn’t have flawless pipes like Rachel did. 

A text message came through on her phone, but she couldn’t answer because she was driving. The last thing she needed was a lecture from Quinn “Little Miss Perfect” Fabray.

As she drove, she came upon a car on the side of the road which looked really familiar. It was Blaine’s BMW. “What’s broccoli-head doing parked at the side of the road?” Santana asked herself. “Did he break down?”

She made sure there was no one following closely behind her and pulled off the road. She could see that Blaine’s hazard blinkers were on, so she figured he ran out of gas or got a flat and was waiting in the car because of the rain. She got out of her car and walked up to Blaine’s vehicle, getting ready to give her friend a sarcastic remark about making sure to gas up. She knocked on the window and looked in. She cursed when she saw Blaine lying back with his eyes closed and blood all over his face.

She opened the door and cried, “Oh my god. Blaine! Wake up! Come on…please wake up?” She checked his pulse and chest. He was breathing, and his heart rate was steady but pretty weak. He looked like he was beat up, and badly. 

“I need to call Kurt,” she told herself as she ran back to her car to grab her phone. She ran back to Blaine’s car, let herself in the passenger side and grabbed Blaine, holding him to her chest. “Please be okay, Anderson. Please be okay. I’m getting help, honey.” Tears were streaming down her face. She dialed Kurt’s number and waited.

*****

Kurt arrived home feeling worn out. He was so done with everything. He just wanted to crawl into bed and pass out, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He had to help search for Blaine, and there was talking to police and everything else. “Being an adult sucks!” he thought to himself unhappily. It was becoming his mantra.

As soon as he entered the house, Finn approached him and explained, “We called everyone and they’re out looking for Blaine. Sam and I are heading out now. Just chill here, Kurt. You need to rest.”

“Thanks, Finn,” Kurt said, hugging his brother awkwardly. “I’m just going to make a coffee. I’m in desperate need of caffeine.”

Finn nodded and moved to Rachel, who hugged her fiancé tightly. “I’m worried,” she said quietly. “Kurt found blood on the doorknob, and we think it’s Blaine’s.”

“Are you serious?” Finn exclaimed. “We need to find him, and the sooner the better! Rach, can you stay with Kurt? I think he needs you right now.”

Rachel nodded and gave Finn a quick kiss. She followed Kurt into the kitchen. He was pulling some mugs out of the cabinet.

“I figured you would want one, too,” Kurt said and tried to smile, but couldn’t cover up his paralyzing fear. He put the cups on the counter, moved to the table and sat down. “Rachel, I’m scared.”

“I am too, but we need to be strong until we find him. Hold on a little longer, honey. We’re all going to take care of him,” she assured.

“I think I’m more scared about finding his father than I am about finding him. I’m not sure if I’d be able to control myself. That’s the thing that terrifies me, that I might really lose control. I can’t let Blaine go back there,” Kurt said vehemently.

“One thing at a time, Kurt,” Rachel said. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. We need to find him first.” Kurt looked up at her with wide eyes. “And we will, I promise. Remember, we went through this when you were missing, and you were fine, right?”

“I guess you’re right. Well, let’s grab a coffee then,” he said and walked to the counter. His phone started ringing and he saw it was from Santana. “Hi, Santana. What’s up?” he asked. “Did you find Blaine?”

Santana’s voice was frantic. “Kurt, you need to get here now! He’s bleeding and unconscious and I don’t know what to do!” she cried.

“Wait, wait. Slow down!” Kurt said as he ran to the living room where the adults were standing. “Where are you? What happened?” 

Rachel followed him, trying to listen in on the conversation. “It’s Santana,” she stage whispered to the rest of the room.

“I was driving home from Brit’s when I saw Blaine’s car on the side of the road. I figured he ran out of gas or something so I stopped to help him out. Then I found him. He won’t wake up and he has blood all over his face. Kurt, you need to get here now!” Santana almost yelled.

Burt put his hand out for the phone because Kurt was too shocked to talk. “Santana, it’s Burt. What happened?” After she explained the same thing she told Kurt, he asked, “Do you know how long he was there?”

“No, I’m sorry. Burt, is he going to be okay?” Santana responded.

“Okay, wait right there. Don’t move him. We’ll call an ambulance, and we’ll be there in a few minutes. Just keep him warm,” Burt advised. He hung up the phone, passed it back to Kurt who was still silent, and said to everyone, “She found him in his car on Chisholm Road. We need to get there as soon as possible. He’s breathing, but he’s unconscious.”

“No!” Carole said, putting her hand to her mouth. “Blaine is such a good boy! Why would this happen?”

“I don’t know, but I’m about to make sure it never happens again,” Burt promised and gently grabbed Kurt’s arm. “Come on, Bud. We need to get to Blaine. Everyone, we’ll go straight to the hospital. Spread the word and meet us there, okay?”

“On it, Dad,” Finn said, pulling out his phone. Sam pulled out his phone to update the rest of the New Directions.

Kurt couldn’t talk, because if he tried, he would just start screaming, and if he started screaming, he might not stop. Blaine was unconscious, and Kurt was responsible because he’d let his boyfriend go instead of making him stay at home. He just grabbed Rachel’s hand. She could keep him grounded, and if he couldn’t have Blaine right now, he needed Rachel.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath to center, and opened them again. Like that first night, they were like steel, hardened to a sharp point; like that first night, it was time to go into battle. He didn’t care about putting up walls or anything else but getting to Blaine. If it kept him from losing his mind completely, then that was exactly what he’d do.

All he could think of was the text that Blaine had sent him. He wondered if those would be the last words he would ever read from his boyfriend. If it was, he would kill Anderson, and that wasn’t a threat. “Let’s go, Rachel,” he ordered. Rachel looked at him with fear because his voice had reverted to his lower register. That could only mean one thing. Kurt was very, very angry.

*****

A/N: The song is “I Will Carry You” by Clay Aiken. Not sure if you remember, but he was runner up on the second season of American Idol. He was my Chris Colfer of the early 2000s. Funny he was one of the only contestants (other than Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson) that had a really good career. Now that I think about it, he would be a good guest star on Glee. Get on that, Ryan!